You kids today think you've got it so good. But ya don't! Back in my day, there was only one dominant system, and we bought all the crappy games that came out for it, and that's the way we liked it, dagnabbit!
Now you got all sorts of different systems clogging up your fancy-schmancy entertainment center, and what's worse, publishers are coming out with the same game for all of 'em. The last Madden game came out on 11 different systems, for Pete's sake!
You might think it's better to have a choice, but it's not! Now ya gotta choose between the fancy graphics on the PS3, the online features on the Xbox 360 and the swishy control scheme of the Wii. Things ain't looking so good now that you got that decision staring you in the face, eh sonny boy?
Even the portable versions are getting a second look these days. Back in my day, portable versions knew their place as the neglected, pixelated, black-and-white cousins to their console superiors. Now these upstarts are rivaling or even bettering their rightful console masters. What's the world coming to!
Hey, don't walk away while I'm ranting at'chya. I need someone to drive me to the pharmacy to get my pills. Come back here and listen to me tell you how bad things are, consarnit!