Are you sitting down? We've got some big news. We mean REALLY big news. This is huge! This is MASSIVE news! Are you ready?
There's a page missing from Rockstar's support web site.
Isn't that incredible? What? You don't understand why this matters? Well what if we told you the page that's missing was for the PS3 version of Grand Theft Auto IV! That's right! There's a page for the Xbox 360 version but nothing listed for the PS3. Everyone's talking about it. Well, some people are, anyway. Do you realize what this means?
What do you mean, "It could mean anything"? It obviously means that Microsoft is going to buy Take Two and take the exclusive rights to the Grand Theft Auto series away from Sony, thereby ensuring the Xbox 360's dominance over this console cycle!
You're still skeptical? Even with all this unassailable evidence? OK, what if we told you that Microsoft hinted through one of their blogs that tomorrow there would be another announcement on the order of the Xbox 360 Elite confirmation. Now do you believe us? Grand Theft Auto IV is going exclusively to Microsoft! Sony is doomed!
What do you mean it all sounds circumstantial? You really think this is just rumor-mongering and a big to-do over what'll probably end up being nothing? Oh, please. How naive can you be. Don't you know a hot story when it hits you in the face?
What's that? You say you just checked and now there there is a page for the PS3 version? Oh. Well it wasn't there before.
Look, just forget we said anything.