Thank goodness there are still genuine journalists out there who are willing to cover the important stories that nobody else bothers to investigate. According to vestigial organ The Onion, Apple Inc.'s goodwill with customers -- already stretched thin by iPhone price cuts and Leopard delays -- is bound to hit a limit sooner or later, and the smart money is on next spring. March 20-22, in fact, are the days pinpointed by Wall Street analysts for the high-flying company to lose the faith of its notoriously loyal consumer base.
From to the story in this week's issue:
"At the current rate, we believe that at this time a sea change will occur in which people will look down at their glossy white or black devices and feel a sense of embarrassment and gullibility," Goldman Sachs analyst Steven Shore said. "They will realize that, despite all the sleek design, they got caught up in a wave of hype that made them shell out additional hundreds of dollars for options and features they didn't need. Until then, I would like to point out that my iPhone is awesome."
Despite past positive coverage from The Onion of Apple's products, including a prescient piece on iPhone obsolescence and a remarkable and largely unnoticed meta-product-launch-launch, it seems that the stories on the fruit-flavored company coming from this multi-layered paper are going to have a bitter, lachrymose edge from now on.
For our readers outside the USA, please note that The Onion is a parody newspaper.