Chris Grant, playing the Danny Trip to my Matthew Albie, and I concocted a rather novel concept for Joystiq's Yaris review on Tuesday, wherein Toyota's old marketing slogans would be littered throughout the text. Phrases such as "Moving forward advert gaming" or "Oh what a feeling we get when playing Yaris" would have been the inopportune solid object collision with your funny bone. Unfortunately, to chase the laughs and satirize the release of the Xbox Live Arcade game would be doing a disservice.
Crafted in a circle of Hell even Dante didn't believe existed, the developers of Castaway Entertainment created Yaris with an objective I can only believe is to cultivate anger in those who play it. I know an allusion to Dante's Inferno seems passé, the standard go-to reference for the sophomore year English Lit major, but forgive me because I feel that this accurately conveys what a truly diabolical creation this game is. Rosemary's baby's got jack on Yaris.