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Take-Two details 'Hot Coffee' settlement; no receipt necessary

Were you one of the "offended and upset" victims of Rockstar's infamous "Hot Coffee" scandal? Can you prove to some lawyers that you were traumatized by the insidious insertion of polygonal sexual activity into your violent killing sprees? If so, you'll be interested in Take-Two's recently erected website detailing the benefits of its Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas class action settlement.

The settlement offers different levels of possible compensation depending on the proof violated consumers have to offer: An original, pre-scandal copy of the game "may" net you a neutered replacement disc; a detailed store receipt "may" result in a $35 cash payment; a credit card statement or check is worth $17.50; and a disc without receipt gets you $10.

If you have no receipt and no game, you stand to earn a whopping $5 for promising under penalty of perjury, cross your heart and hope to die, that you at one point purchased and played the offending game. If you're not planning on using the bill to dry your post-traumatic tears, perhaps you could put it towards Grand Theft Auto IV on April 29th.