Perhaps you've been burnt by digital distribution in the past, and now refuse to even touch the likes of Steam. Perhaps you found one or more of the games in Valve's critically acclaimed Orange Box to be lacking in a peel. Perhaps you'd like us to stop with the excruciating puns you jerks and report the news already geez.
So, have at it: Valve has confirmed to Joystiq that the individually boxed Orange Box PC games are due to hit physical shelves on April 9th. The separate SKUs, which will be available worldwide, consist of first-person puzzler Portal, caricatured multiplayer romp Team Fortress 2, and a crowbar double-whammy in the form of Half-Life 2: Episode One and Two. Valve has yet to officially announce pricing details, but retailers currently list Portal at $19.99 and the other two packages at $29.99 each. Expect more details soon.