Splatterhouse. If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times: storytelling in games needs an injection of creativity! So what better property to invest our trust in than Namco Bandai's Splatterhouse? It's got it all: an evil mansion (the titular Splatterhouse, naturally); a Friday the 13th-style hockey mask ... err, "terror mask"; and a unique protagonist named Rick Taylor fighting gross, puss-filled baddies in a supernaturally enhanced quest to save his girlfriend.
With that said, we're sure you'll relish the news – literally bursting through the cover of next month's EGM – that Splatterhouse has had an ancient Mayan sacrificial mask strapped to its corpse and been resurrected for "next-gen" consoles, on a mission to retrieve money straight out of our wallets. But really, Splatterhouse?