Sharper Image up for sale -- amazing mall store offers weightless, ionic iPod-compatible massage

Sure, The Sharper Image is bankrupt, but that's no reason to avoid this once in a lifetime opportunity to buy the company as it goes under. As you're undoubtedly already aware, The Sharper Image invented the idea of ions with the semi-functional Ionic Breeze air purifier, but did you know that it also led the movement to call anything with a stereo minijack "iPod-compatible?" That's history, folks. And now that the board of directors has put the company on the block with the share price down to 23 cents and the goal of selling by the end of next month, you could conceivably be America's next massage-chair kingpin for just $3.6M -- what's to lose? We'll even throw in the disgraced executive team, a $25 value! Operators are standing by!