Running with this idea, popular comic book blogger Chris Sims took it upon himself to record "The Contra Hearings". Not only does this hilarious take on Contra make us realize how ridiculous the game's scenario really is, but these faux hearings also remind us that the series is so awesomely badass. An excerpt:
"SENATOR ARTHUR WEATHERTON (R, NM): With all due respect, Lieutenant, I fail to see how the failure to equip two Marines necessitates a Congressional investigation. Why haven't we heard from the rest of the soldiers involved in the operation?
LT. RIZER: Because Lance and I were the total forces committed to the Red Falcon conflict, Senator.
SEN. WEATHERTON: ... Oh. Carry on.
LT. RIZER: Right. Now, I know that at the time of our deployment, resources were already committed to providing support for the Bionic Commando project, but sending two men to fight an entire army of technologically advanced aliens... I can't imagine that America needed to close the grapple-arm gap that badly. And our equipment was... well, it was sub-par."In case you didn't know, you can unlock the original NES game (and Super C) in Contra 4 for the DS -- which is perfect in its own right. So, we expect you to man up and buy it while it's on sale.