- Whereas all of those old episodes of Dexter available on the torrent trackers are not going to download themselves.
- Whereas no man or woman in a civilized society should be denied access to Garfield Minus Garfield.
- Whereas Finland has a population 61 times smaller than that of the United States.
- Whereas no household deserves to be "farther than 2 kilometers from a connection capable of delivering broadband Internet with a capacity of at least 100 megabits of data a second" (unless, of course, you're "in far-flung corners of the country," in which case you're out of luck).
- Whereas this is the same nation that brought the world Nokia and public restrooms that can only be accessed via SMS.
- Now, Therefore YLE reports that FINLAND has made 1-megabit broadband Web access a LEGAL RIGHT starting in JULY 2010, with the ultimate goal of making 100Mb available to all in 2015. Now APOCALYPTICA has no excuse for never updating its MySpace page.