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Limited Edition Ryo Hazuki figurine will lift your spirits


Or momentarily distract you from that gaping, Shenmue-shaped hole in your heart. Although most doctors agree that the unfortunate condition is chronic, some symptoms (which include: forlorn sighing; naive bursts of optimism on Shenmue 3 message boards) can be addressed with a modicum of effort. Example: Staring at a Limited Edition Hazuki-in-a-forklift figurine. For six hours.

Those looking to implement slightly more permanent treatment can attempt to win the depicted prize through a sweet Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing sweepstakes setup. Since it's only open to U.S. residents and is limited to 950 figurines in total, however, you probably won't ever win. And Shenmue 3 won't ever come out. And we'll never find out what happened with Lan Di or the Dragon Mirror.

Oh yeah, that's the other symptom: straight-up depression. Thanks for nothing, you stupid, unattainable figurine.

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