You know those mini-stage shows at amusement parks that are chock-full of budding young actors and actresses just biding their time until their big break except oh wait they're in Ohio? This summer, if you're at any Cedar Fair park, you'll have to work extra hard to avoid a similar sort of "attraction": Rock Band Live.
We're going to read the description to you, but you have to promise to call your insurance agent and make sure your douche-chill coverage is up to date. Ready? The "high-energy, concert-like stage show features talented singers from across North America. But the cast will be missing one key piece of the show – YOU!" ... No, it really says "concert-like." We didn't add that.
Because we care, we'll preserve you from the next bit of the release with a summary. Basically, you take time -- that you could be using to ride the Magnum XL-200 or eat a cinnamon roll as big as your head -- to play Rock Band for some bored carny. And your reward for a solid performance is getting to share the stage with the Rock Band Live crew (featuring no fewer than three future contestants in Flavor of Love 7: Mummy Flav.)
The show will be at Cedar Point and Canada's Wonderland all summer, though the other Cedar Fair parks will be randomly subjected to a touring company at intervals throughout the season. Think of it: A whole troupe of people who couldn't nail down a spot in the permanent Rock Band Live. To them, Rock Band Live at Canada's Wonderland is "the big show." We'll leave you in peace to swallow a razor blade or something while you mull that little gem over.