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The Classifieds: Coming out of the closet edition


The Classifieds is a weekly roundup of news from around the WoW community. Your host for this week is the ever-so-shadowy Fox Van Allen, filling in for a vacationing Lisa Poisso in exchange for an undisclosed sum of pirate treasure. As always, if you have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share, send it in to

If there are 50 ways to leave your lover, then there must be at least 100 different ways to leave a guild. There's the middle-of-an-argument /gquit, the log-on-in-the-middle-of-the-night-so-no-one-sees-you /gquit, the passive-aggressive /gquit, and of course, the I-illegally-sold-my-WoW-account-on-Craigslist-to-buy-a-ten-year-old-dirtbike /gquit.

I think I have a new favorite, though: The tauren-trapped-in-a-night-elf's-body /gquit. Milkmenot (Boulderfist [US-H]), formerly Slimbones (Uldaman [US-A]), wrote one of the most creative goodbye notes to his guild that I've seen in a long time:
I have a confession I need to make, it's something that has been bothering me for quite some time and I need to get it out there. I've been having these feelings. It started out just around town in Dalaran when I would see this Tauren going by. Our eyes would meet, just briefly, and all these feelings would well up inside. I'd try to follow her, intrigued by her curves and horns, but then she always goes into that Horde-only area and I would get booted out. So I'd hang around the entrance there just hoping to sneak a peek.
The rest of the goodbye note -- and so much more -- is available just after the break.

The courageous Milkmenot continues his tale:

I tried to push these feelings aside but it was really hard. Even during raids, I would be DPSing along happily and then someone's Deathbringer's Will would proc and they would turn into a cow. I would forget about the fight completely and just smell their sweet musty cow scent. After it wears off and they turn back into their old ugly self I would feel so empty. And I find myself drinking sooo much milk lately.

It's time to face the facts. I am a Tauren trapped in in a Night Elf body. It is a well recognized disorder and up until recently there was nothing that could be done. I was so ashamed of these feelings for the longest time. Sometimes late at night I would go off to Nagrand alone and equip a helm with horns on it. I would pretend I had a tail and wander around with the herds of clefthoof. It was really embarrassing when someone came along doing the clefthoof quests and killed the whole herd and I'd be left standing there alone in my cow suit. So very ashamed.

Well not anymore! Now there is something that can be done for people like me! Over the past few months I've been injecting myself with Bovine Growth Hormone. And slowly the transformation has taken place. I've had to turn on the option to show my helm and cape to hide the lumps and bulges which will soon become my beautiful Tauren body. "He's put on a few extra pounds, too much raiding," you might have thought. Not so. At this point my transformation is 90% complete and after tonight I will break out of a milky chrysalis and take my true form.

I have had so much fun raiding with you all and I promise my small cow brain will not forget you. If we cross paths I will try not to trample you, and likewise please refrain from barbecueing or trying to milk me. OK, maybe Rochana and Kechara can milk me but otherwise hands off!! I am Tauren, hear me MOOOO!
As shirtless blood elf trapped in a human's body, I can relate.

Random acts of uberness

Sadness and despair in PUGs hardly qualify as news. That's why we want to hear all about your positive experiences involving true PUG superstars. Send your shout-outs to so we can honor those who go above and beyond their standard PUG duty. Keep things brief (150 words or less, please), and be sure to list everyone's character names and home realms or battlegroup. Lisa promises hugs to those who provide armory links. Fox promises sorrow to those who don't.

Zultaranis (Magtheridon [US-H]) I queued for my daily heroic and was put in a group for Violet Hold. My tank was Zultaranis. Everything went well (minus our DK not knowing how to zone past the door), and around the third portal I checked Zultaranis' gear, only to realize he was still in a mishmash of leveling blues and ilvl200 epics. I'm in heroic ICC25 gear, and kept pulling threat off of him, but he picked everything back up with the grace and reaction time of a seasoned pro. He had a great attitude and tanked the whole instance flawlessly. Zultaranis, I'd be happy to have you as my tank again any time! Thank you from your moonkin friend.

-- Serthida (Bloodhoof [US-H])

Kalev (Dragonmaw [US-A]) The other day a group of friends and I were trying to run FoS on a random queue and just couldn't seem to get through it. First mob we wiped and the tank leaves, our healer was re-learning healing and the DPS was struggling. When Kalev came in as our tank I let him know what was up, at which point he became an uber tank. He took the time to explain boss fights and didn't get upset when we made a mistake. He could do it all and despite a few close calls we made it through and he ran it with us again! Thanks so much Kalev, you are amazing with your tanking talents. Keep up the good work and I hope to run into you again. Thanks

!-- Sinderful (Scarlet Crusade [US-A])

Kapalili <Isle of Misfit Toons> (Nordrassil [US-A]) As we all know, Heroic Halls of Reflection is one of the hardest 5-mans currently in the game. It's not uncommon for people to get it and immediately drop group. On my tank, I have always told the group up front that I probably couldn't handle it and would gladly step out if they wanted to get another tank. Usually they want me to stay, but it turns into a wipefest and I'm either booted or people drop. Because of this I've never actually completed heroic HoR. That is, until today. I zoned it, saw it was HoR, told the group I should probably step out, but Kapalili insisted I stay. He told me that he had my back and, even though we'd never met before, he was completely confident in my ability to tank it. Well, even though I was terrified of causing a frustrating wipefest, I gathered up my courage, told Jaina to hurry the heck up, and took my position. Not only was I able to tank it without letting any of the mobs beat on the squishies in the group, but we made it through the whole place without a single wipe! I attribute my success to that very awesome healer, and the encouragement he gave me. The rest of the group, Sudara <Isle of Misfit Toons> (Nordrassil [US-A]), Janifear (Wyrmrest Accord [US-A]), and Stephuu (Wyrmrest Accord [US-A]) deserve equal amounts of credit. They were encouraging and helpful. Oh, and I should note, not one of us were over 5k gear score.

I want to say thank you to that group for believing in me. Huzzah's all around! -- Thistlefizz <Knights Tale> (Quel'dorei [US-A])

News: Around the WoW community

Speaking of coming out ... June is typically designated Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) Pride Month, and for the sixth straight year, the celebration is spilling over into Azeroth on the Proudmoore server. World of Warcraft's two largest GLBT-friendly guilds <Taint> (Proudmoore [US-H]) and <The Stonewall Family> (Proudmoore [US-A]) are co-sponsoring the Sixth Annual Proudmoore Pride Parade. Festivities start Saturday, June 19th at 11:45 a.m. server (Pacific time) for Alliance; 12 noon server for Horde.

So, what exactly is involved in an electronic pride parade? The host guilds explain:
Parade participants will be designing their own "float" concepts and themes to march together in groups within the parade. After winding thru the Barrens to Ratchet, players will take the boats to Booty Bay to continue the celebration, including dancing on the water, and participating in contests. The event's attendance has grown rapidly year to year, with last year's party attracting a huge crowd that was dancing for hours afterward in Booty Bay.

The theme for this year's event is "Last Dance" – honoring the fact that this will be the last time the parade will dance its way through the Barrens before Cataclysm changes the landscape forever. Among the contests planned for this year's event are: Azeroth's Next Top Model, Booty Bay's Top Chef contest, prizes for the best float & more. Streaming dance party music for the event will be provided by Stonewall Family Radio, the guild's live internet radio station.

Players from all realms are encouraged to roll a temporary Proudmoore alt and participate -- both Taint and Stonewall will have visitor guilds set up to include guests for the day's party interconnected to the host guilds' chat. Full details on the parade, pre-party, float registration, guest guilds, music and more can be found on the official Proudmoore Pride website located at Although the event is a celebration of gay pride, all players are welcome to come and celebrate and enjoy the festivities and party with the host guilds. PvP is very strongly discouraged for the event.

Ironman Challenge flashback
Remember last week when Lisa mentioned the Ironman Challenge, where you're only allowed to equip gear you find while running dungeons? Though the official <The Risen> sponsored race didn't start until today, reader Largo (The Sha'tar [EU-A]) decided to take up the challenge on his own, creating a blog to detail his progress. He just finished running his way through Shadowfang Keep, but there have been several bumps along the way. The following is an entry detailing his second run through Ragefire Chasm:
I've created a macro that lets people know as soon as I enter the dungeon that I'm doing an Ironman run and that while I lack gear, I'm still decently competent and won't cause any problems. Needless to say, the others wanted to kick me from the run immediately. :-)

Fortunately, they can't kick you for the first five minutes, so I had five minutes to get them on my side. And when they realized I wasn't dying, and was actually doing better DPS than the rogue, they let me stay. We actually had a very smooth run with a good NE druid as tank, nobody died, and the only one who was considered for kicking was the rogue, who lived up to his class and rolled need on as much as he could.
The Classifieds wishes Largo much luck during his attempt at the challenge. As for my level 9 rogue ... er, he totally has an alibi. /cough

Employment: Guild recruiting

Is your guild missing that one specific person that you need to complete your team? Missing several people? The Classifieds can help. Send your guild's recruiting information to and we'll try to feature as many as we can!

ICC-25 Heroic <Flow> (Vek'nilash [EU-A]) is currently recruiting experienced and appropriately geared ranged DPS and healers (Resto Shaman/Holy Paladin) for ICC-25 heroic mode progression. Flow raids 3 nights a week (20:00-23:00 ST, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday). They're an adult (18+), community focused guild, aiming to compete with the best on the realm but not at the cost of maintaining a fun and friendly atmosphere. Writes their rep, "we formed the guild as a haven of sorts, a place where skilled players could come and progress well without the elitism, passive-aggressiveness and raging raid leaders most 'successful' guilds have."

The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on player and community news, help finding the right guild, who's making waves in the WoW community and more. Email your news and Random Acts of Uberness to

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