Cousin Mick, you little &%(*&#$!
Your real Auntie is at the grocery store right now picking up the ingredients for that horrible cabbage loaf she likes to make every year to get the relatives to leave. I'm here playing Left 4 Dead 2 on Auntie's Mac Pro while she's gone, and I saw your email. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?
Anyway, it's just like you to want to return something immediately -- you're never happy with what you have. Do what I'm going to do, dude: the day the iPad 2 comes out, I'll be at the Apple Store picking up the new toy, and then I'll sell the old one. You'd be surprised how much you can get for Apple products in good condition on eBay. I always take a lot of pictures of whatever I'm selling to show people how sparkly nice and new it is, write up a long description of the thing I'm selling and then do an auction with a "Buy It Now" option at a reasonable price. Most of the time, I can get as much as I want for the used gear doing it that way.
Sure, you're not going to get back your entire investment in the iPad, but think of the fun you'll have for the next couple of months until the new iPad arrives. If Apple follows last year's schedule, a new iPad should hit the market at about the beginning of April. Play with your iPad until then, get familiar with the apps that are available with it and enjoy it. Then in April? Sell it and get the new one, then restore it with all of the apps and data from your old iPad.
Enjoy yourself, man! Be happy with the iPad; it is the "magical" and "revolutionary" device Steve Jobs said it is.
By the way, you still owe me that Franklin from our Super Bowl bet last year.
Happy Freakin' New Year,
Your Cousin Vinnie