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Two Bosses Enter: Baron Ashbury vs. Cardboard Assassin

Alex Ziebart
Owner
Updated ·4 min read

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

A grave mistake was made when the Cardboard Assassin was allowed into the Two Bosses Enter tournament. The world severely underestimated the power of the comedy option. This week, can the menace of Baron Ashbury overcome the hilarity of the Cardboard Assassin?

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In last week's matchup, Throngus the Forgemaster slammed face-first into the Scarlet Crusade's Whitemane and Mograine. Was his skull thick enough to pull it off?

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Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.



The rules of the ring

  • The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.

  • Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.

  • All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).

  • Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.

  • Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.

  • Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.

In Corner One: Baron Ashbury


Pathetic.

Baron Ashbury has suffered some nerfs since the launch of Cataclysm, but he was, at one time, one of the most intimidating heroic bosses around. Groups not only had to interrupt two spells, but also dispel two spells while keeping up with some mighty intense healing.

Ashbury's bag of tricks includes:

Surely, even after the nerfs he received, Baron Ashbury should be able to bring down a corrugated assassin. Right? If you don't know anything about Baron Ashbury, check out what others had to say about him.

In Corner Two: Cardboard Assassin

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The Cardboard Assassin has made waves in this season of Two Bosses Enter, eliminating fan (and author) favorite Vanessa VanCleef purely through the power of comedy.

The Cardbord Assassin's powers include:

  • Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Will the cardboard assassin's astounding passiveness net him another victory?

Last Week's Winner: Whitemane and Mograine

The Scarlet Crusade continues to be a powerhouse in this season of TBE. Forgemaster Throngus won a valiant victory over Karsh Steelbender early on in the tournament, but Whitemane and Mograine cut his life short. Despite the fact that she didn't choose the correct winner, I feel I have to feature Nadia's writeup regardless:

"What face we now, Commander," says High Inquisitor Whitemane.

"I do not know, my Lady," says Mograine. "Churl! Who are you to dare threaten the Scarlet Crusade!?!?"

"No! Throngus no like seeing red! Remind him of when he get whipped. You puny red ones go away!"

With that, Throngus picks up Mograine and uses him as a club before dropping him to the ground. Then one giant foot comes crashing down, crushing the Scarlet Commander.

The Inquisitor begins casting and speaks, "arise my Champion!"

Before she can finish casting, Throngus begins sobbing, fiery tears raining down on the stone floor.

"Throngus sorry! Wait, little Lady, Throngus fix poor little squashed red man."

Whitemane stops casting, confused. "What? You're sorry? You're trying to help?"

The giant nods, extending a hand in what appears to be friendship. Hoping that this will somehow help, High Inquisitor Whitemane reaches out and grasps [Throngus's Finger].

"Heh, he he heh, heh! She pulled my finger!"

And a giant jet of flame shoots out of Throngus's Bulwark, burning both High Inquisitor Whitemane and Commander Mograine's crushed body to cinders.

Throngus WINS!

Fart jokes are truly the height of literary genius.

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The battle begins!

Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!

Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.