Joe Perez as Haemon
So, der I be, mon, at da crossroads. No, I mean really at da Crossroads. Ol' Haemon, he go where da work is, and da people of Crossroads be lookin' for help, mon. Makin me way to da Crossroads was da easy part. Da loa of da cat done grace me with new power, mon. I can now transform meself into da mighty and fast cheetah! Oh, I be so quick, mon! Dat be real freedom, I tell ya. Da wind in your fur and da open plain.
Now, ol Haemon be expecting more pig men harassin da people. I done be surprised at what me eyes be seeing dis time, mon. Pony men! Dey be everywhere, mon. Now, dese be no party ponies, but dey be da evil ponies. Stealing, killin and summonin' da lightning. Nah, dese bad pony people donn be belivin' in da magic of friendship. Ol Haemon get a bit in over his head -- dere be too many pony men! So, I use me favor and call in da calvary. I send for da Zarema for some help, mon, and sho'nuff she be comin' to ol Haemon's aid. We take down the pony men -- we cut off the leaders, mon. Da ponies, dey scatter, mon.
We did good, I feel. Da pony men scatter -- dey be without a leader -- and ol' Haemon is even more blessed by the loa! Da only problem, mon, with me new power: I have a new hunger for honey!
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