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Phat Loot Phriday: Shriveled Heart


When last we left our heroes, Lolegolas had just decked Throgg across the jaw. Miranda was doing her best impression of being surprised, and the Gilnean just looked slightly embarrassed. As you do.

"What is wrong with you?" Lolegolas screamed. The blood elf's body vibrated with rage. His green eyes shimmered. "How could you? What were you thinking?"

Throgg picked himself up from the ground slowly, holding a hand palm-out toward the enraged blood elf. "It's not like that," Throgg said. "Miranda said that she needed help."

The young girl stepped forward to speak, but the Gilnean appeared from the shadows, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Hush, child," the druid whispered. "This has been coming."

"I'm sure she did," the blood elf retorted. "I'm sure you were doing the right thing; but you have to stop doing the right thing, Throgg. You're going to die if you keep this up!"

"Guys, about the dark wizard ... " Miranda tried to interrupt. "We don't have time for this."

"You!" Lolegolas said, whirling to face the girl. "We came here to rescue you from tauren, not to go hunting abominations. What happened to the Grimtotem? Why would you even come to Darkshire?"

"Leave her alone," Throgg said. "You are angry. You yell at me, not at girl." Throgg brushed his backside off as he scanned the clearing. "Mage gone. That's not good."

"You know," Lolegolas muttered, "I can't help but think that if you'd brought an archer along, someone could have shot the big, bad mage at a distance. Arrows are clever like that."

"Lolegolas, I know you're angry," Miranda said, walking toward the hunter. She brushed away the Gilnean when he tried to stop her again. "It's just because you're concerned. But it was very important that Throgg and I come up here. And it was important that you two come as well."

"Really? Why would that be?" Lolegolas snorted. "Look, touched in the noggin' or not, you've got no right to haul the big guy into danger. He's not going to turn down a little girl."

Miranda pointed back down the hill into Darkshire. "Watch," she said quietly. No sooner had the word left her mouth than a faint but unmistakeable golden glow started filling the town square. "Bronze dragons are cleaning up the mess. You guys were late. Abercrombie isn't supposed to have time to summon other minions, so the whole thing ran longer than it was supposed to."

"Supposed to?" Lolegolas asked. "According to who? Nothing's supposed to happen. No mystical script controls my destiny."

"Sure, that's great," Miranda continued. "The point is that if the Bronze Dragonflight found you below, your memory would have been scrubbed. That's counterproductive, because there's still the problem of whatever Abercrombie's going to do next."

Throgg slowly approached the two. "Elf killed the Valkyr. Plot over."

Miranda sighed, flopping her arms slightly. "The Valkyr was Abercrombie's payment, not his task. He's still going to uphold his side of the bargain to Sylvanas."

"Shouldabroughtanarcher," Lolegolas coughed into his hands. "Sorry, chest cold. So, what do we do next?"

"We go to Gilneas," she responded. "It's awfully convenient you happen to be running around with a worgen. Hi, Spot!"

The druid snarled slightly. "My name is not Spot."

"And we need a Shriveled Heart."

Lolegolas sighed, pulling a small charm from his pocket. "I seem to have exactly that right now."

Shriveled Heart
Type Off-hand
Stamina 79
Intellect 67
Item level 232
Equip Increases your critical strike rating by 51
Equip Increases your haste rating by 50

How to get it Have someone you care about show no respect for their own safety or your feelings. Also, out of The Captain's Chest. Get it? You pull the heart out of his chest? Pearls before swine, I'm telling you.
How to get rid of it Post lots of angry and angsty messages to Facebook. Also, sell it for about 7.5 gold. You could break it into an Abyss Crystal -- but when you stare into the abyss, it stares back.

Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing

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