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5 Apps for seeing a man about a horse

Sometimes a wiseacre editor (we have a few) suggests we do a Five Apps post for a particularly offbeat area of interest. And sometimes we actually start brainstorming these. Today, we'll look at at restroom apps: after all, you can't spell iPhone without "I P." Here are 5 apps to help accommodate your timely needs (all prices are USD).

Restroom/bathroom/toilet finder (Free)

Yes, all those slashes are part of the official name. This app, as well as Have2P (also free) helps you locate the nearest public bathroom, which is handy for older handsets without Siri. If you have a 4S, you can just tell Siri, "I have to urinate" and let her search for public toilets using Apple's database (as long as you don't mind explaining your situation to your phone in public).

Toilet Time Pro ($0.99)

For those of you who use your potty breaks to play games, catch up with Twitter, or otherwise surf, Toilet Time Pro monitors the elapsed bathroom time and provide alarms to remind you how long you've spent in there. A special "Extension Time" feature allows you to "[set up] extension times to keep notifying you about your toilet time allow you extend your toilet time." Clearly, a GTD perk.

Plus, the name gave us a chuckle. Toilet Time Pro suggests there's a non-professional version. Toilet Time Amateur? We won't be downloading that one.

Talking Toilet ($0.99)

If you have ever wished to transform your commode into an entertainment device (frankly, who hasn't)? If so, Talking Toilet provides exactly that frisson of personality you're looking for. According to its marketing text, the talking toilet "provides hours of entertainment with his hilarious sayings. Whether you're on the potty or not, he's sure to help pass the time while you pass the....well you know."

Yes. We know. And we remind you that you chose to keep reading this post. Moving on...

Toilet Tickles (free)

Since most loo visits are short, entertainment options must likewise adapt. In the grand tradition of "toilet reading," Toilet Tickles provides quick jokes presented on a styled toilet paper roll courtesy of Italian Comedian Alessandro Paci. This app presumably allows you to go, read, laugh and leave, all in a timely manner.

Drunk Sniper ($1.99, on sale for $0.99)

Finally we bring you Drunk Sniper. It lets men practice their aim and women try to "walk in mens' shoes" at various levels of virtual inebriation. Even if you'll never be able to write in the snow, women will be virtually able to experience how "the toilet seems to become more and more elusive with every drink."