APB Reloaded is the game for you (also, seek professional help). It's only for a limited time, though, and the shenanigans are a part of GamersFirst's Valentine's Day massacre event.
All you have to do is log in, as G1 is sending everyone a couple of V-Day-themed weapons. Furthermore, each gun "contains an exciting new modification," according to a post on APB's official boards. Killing foes with the special weapons will advance two new roles and lead to Valentine prizes like new theme music, symbol art, and heart-shaped sunglasses.
The shindig kicks off today and runs through February 20th, so be sure and get started on your role advancement ASAP.