Latest in Gaming

Image credit:

Pass down these bona fide orcish proverbs to your young Hordelings


When Mike Sacco passed down the orcish proverb "Every orc is worth a dozen," my world changed. Never had life been so simple, so distilled down to the real truth. If I wasn't strong enough as one person, I should just be as strong as more people. It was so simple that it just might work -- well, according to an orc.

Orcish proverbs straddle the fine line between clever and stupid. Not the bad kind of stupid, mind you; the forehead slap, the solemn head shake, a disappointed sigh are our connotations. Eventually, orcish proverbs began to flow, and the community took part in our Breakfast Topic dedicated to the subject. Here are some pearls of orcish wisdom that you can bring home to your loved ones to teach them a thing or two about hardiness, resolve, and fear.

Every orc is worth a dozen. -- Sacco, Michael, A History of Orcs: The Demonic Rise and Fall of a Civilization of Draenor, pg. 776-778, Bantam Press, 2010.

The axe is the sharpest fist you've got. My own creation plays on the practicality of using whatever weapon you've got and, in dire circumstances, fitting a round peg in a sharp, dangerous hole.

You never know where you are until you conquer it.

Losers never win.

Home isn't home until it's someone else's first. Commenter hanuman.bum tapped into primal orcish spirit to remember these messages from his ancestors. If you've lost the battle, the battle is over. And you lost. What was the point? Take this to heart, young ones.

And, really, home isn't home until it's someone else's first, right? Hey, wait a minute.

I once saw six orcs attacking my grandmother. She looked at me and asked, "Are you going to help?" I said, "No, six should be enough." Commenter orange-soda hates his grandmother, mostly for the connection to the Shadow Council. Grandma, more like Gul'dramma, am I right? Right? Is this on?

If you hit them hard enough, they might not hit you back. Words to live by. Hit them hard enough, and they will stop trying to hit you. If not, repeat. Orcs don't need complex solutions to every problem. It's not stupidity -- it's practicality. Just hit him hard enough so that he can't hit you anymore.

Punch your enemy in the gut after dinner. Then he'll be weak and hungry. Another one of mine. It seems like a smart chain of events to exploit, really. Nothing beats hunger, and nothing beats pain, except hunger pains.

Hold It This Way Or You Might Cut Yourself. AdelsWoW nails it pretty swiftly with this one. A solemn and proud father, holding back the tears, shoves his clan's dagger's hilt into his son's hand, pulls him close, and barely gets out his last words of wisdom to a child going off to war: "Hold it this way. You might cut yourself." I'm crying already.

All I can think about now is an orcish version of Cat's in the Cradle. Hmm.

My pup turned 10 just the other day,
He growled, "I want to maim Alliance and I'm ready dad
Can you teach me how to slaughter," I said "Not today.
Lok'tar my boy, I must tend to troops who've had it bad.

Never mind. Bad idea.

From small axe come big chop. Alex Ziebart hits it out of the park with small axe, big chop. Why? It's orcish zen. Size matters not, until it does, and all that. This ain't no mystic force, friends. Just big chop.

Start thinking up your own proverbs and sayings for some other of the races of Azeroth and look for another fun Breakfast Topic in the near future. I'm glad you guys enjoyed this one -- nice work.

From around the web

ear iconeye icontext filevr