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Breakfast Topic: What's the best excuse you've ever heard?

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Once upon a time when my guild was raiding Icecrown Citadel back in Wrath, we had a few players who were notorious at making excuses for sudden AFK's or calling off. It wasn't the first time I'd heard of this however -- previous guilds had members that also used any excuse in the book to take a break. One raider in an earlier guild I was in was notorious for screwing up achievements for the guild. After wiping our raid for the umpteenth time in the middle of an extremely difficult achievement, he promptly typed into raid chat that he had to go next door and deliver his neighbor's baby.

Now you would think this was ridiculous enough on its own, but he then made a long, detailed, thought-out post on the guild forums about how he was fine and so was the neighbor and she had a little boy and he was just beautiful ... he waxed on and on and on. Someone asked him to post a picture of the child, at which point he promptly made some excuse about scheduling and quietly left the guild. For the next few months, anyone going AFK would blurt "AFK-having-baby" in vent as fast as they could and crack everyone up.

Players all have their own reasons for going AFK, or even calling off to a raid. But sometimes the excuses are just that -- excuses. And that's where the Warcraft player base seems to shine in creativity. Assisting with childbirth has to be the one of the toppers on my list, right up there with the guild member that went AFK to answer the door with a gun (I ... never really did find out the details on that one, but I don't think I really wanted to know), and "The pool is on fire." So let's hear it guys -- what are the best excuses you've ever heard for calling off or sudden AFK's?