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Drama Mamas: The absent GM who won't give up control


Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

And now for something completely different.

Before the automatic option to replace absent guild leaders after 30 days, you had to petition to have them removed. Uneducated guild owners could stay away for a while and not know that coming back periodically would prevent losing ownership. Now, shady GMs can just pop on for a bit every month to keep control. And as long as they have ownership, they are free to do anything they want to their guilds -- even disband them -- and Blizzard can't do anything about it.
So around 4.1 i found 'my guild'. I had been in a few that were nothing more than banks. This one clicked. We talked, we chatted all the time on vent and have our own forum. We met up in other games and had a great time.

...Trouble is the GM seems kind of bitter about playing WoW at all.

Apparently he was in a guild that fell apart in ICC and this was his last chance to keep him in the game. Trouble is all he does is hold his monopoly on the inscription goods on the AH and do nothing else, except vocally tells us all day everyday how "wow is dying" and "stupid pandas will take it down to 1 million subs and kill it". I dont exaggerate. Literally every day he has tried to push the whole guild into moving to swtor which already looks like its going down the WAR route and telling us how guild wars 2 will 'destroy wow'. Its a pretty poisonous atmosphere he creates that just leads to awkward silences during his rants on vent.
Trouble is a few agree with him.

My question is this:

He already mentions often how he will keep logging in so nobody can become the guild master and yet he is clearly adamant that as soon as our currently 6/8 guild beats heroic madness he is "out of here".

Im an officer that still loves WoW and the guild has a lot of friends in it. What do we do if/when he makes his grand internet suicide to drop wow for another game?

From a concerned guild officer
Drama Mama LisaDrama Mama Lisa: Hang on, you say you're waiting for this bitter GM's "grand internet suicide"? Awww, Concerned Guild Officer, dude done did dat! (There -- you alliteration fans got your fix in early. Now we can move on to da drama.)

Seriously, That Guy's already shot himself -- and this guild -- in the foot. Don't keep lurching along. Either whack that half-chewed-off limb from the guild body, or risk becoming the stumbling zombie of a leftover guild that sends members running for cover.

But first, let's take a personal perspective. Where are your friends in this deal, the folks who keep you happily logging in every night? If they're the ones who are considering leaving WoW, perhaps you should consider a change of scenery, too. You wouldn't have to stop playing WoW completely, after all. But if it's the friendships and not the game that's important to you, you need to get that straight in your head and your heart sooner rather than later.

Now, back to That Guy and your guild. Is it important to you that you finish heroic Madness under these circumstances? Will a "win" under duress of the GM's locking down or dissolving the guild really taste so sweet? If it is, you're going to need to hold your tongue and work behind the scenes to organize any of the other officers you feel are interested in pursuing fresh opportunities in Mists.

But if you're ready to get your game on now, maybe it's time to confront That Guy about his dog-in-the-manger approach to the guild and the game. Make sure you have someone (you? another officer?) ready to take on the mantle of leadership, then kindly and politely let That Guy know that now that his departure is imminent, you're ready to take things off his hands so he can happily move on. He can say what he will, but at that point, it's up to you to go ahead and make those changes happen -- with him in this guild or without him in another.

It would stink to lose the guild if he refuses to relinquish his death grip, but it stinks even more to be held hostage to someone else's twisted agenda. If you can't play with him, play without him. Good luck!

Drama Mamas RobinDrama Mama Robin: Warning: I'm about to get judgmental. Your GM is a controlling, unethical Negative Nate. Separately, those qualities are bad enough, but together ... ugh. His lack of ethics is the real problem here, however. If he is purposely logging on to keep his Guild Leader status rather than handing it off to someone who cares and wants to be there, he is likely to disband the guild when he's done playing. If he was willing to hand of the GM role at all, he would have done so already.

I think it's worth a try to follow Lisa's advice and try to convince him to do the right thing: step down from the throne. This tactic is good, even if only to prove that you've tried everything. And maybe you could even get a promise from him not to dissolve the guild when he's finally done with WoW. But I think that you, the other officers, and the guildies who want to stick around have to come to terms with the fact that your guild may not exist much longer and there's nothing you can do about it.

I know that starting off in a new guild means losing so many hard-earned perks, achievements, etc. It also means having to start everyone's rep from scratch. But a fresh beginning with a committed group of guildies may be the only way to continue the guild you love. If you do go that route, choosing an appropriate GM replacement and starting your new guild off on the right foot are definitely things you want to research. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of smelly drama.

Another option is to look at other guilds on your server and see if there is one with similar personalities, goals and schedules. Merging with another guild is often the best thing for both guilds, particularly with so many people losing interest (temporarily or otherwise) during the pre-expansion blahs.

Good luck in convincing your GM to be the good guy. Let us know how things turn out.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at Read Robin's section of this post on how to get your letter answered and please remember that we cannot answer privately.

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