On the surreal attack ad against a State Senate candidate who plays WoW

First, let me assure you... yes, we heard about it. We weren't blithely ignoring the news that a bizarre political campaign attacks a Democratic candidate for the Maine State Senate, or that actual mailers using actual paper were also printed. Trees died for that print campaign.

We tend to notice things like that, somewhere between our advanced Google alerts and the Cataclysm-level flood that hit our inbox like it was time to wreck Booty Bay all over again. We're reaching out to Colleen Lachowicz for comment and interview, because frankly, we question her gem and talent strategy.

Oh? You mean, we should comment on the political absurdity? Huh. Okay. Thing is, we're not a politics blog. We're a site about World of Warcraft. We don't tend to dwell on politics around here, unless it's about the unmitigated incompetence of Garrosh. Some folks have Very Strong Feelings about the Wrynns, the Thralls, and the national climate of Azeroth. But when it comes to real-world politics, we resemble a LOLcat screaming "Do Not Want." We're about WoW here.

And this incomprehensibly surreal attack on Colleen Lachowicz shares as much to do with World of Warcraft as my socks. They just happen to sit on the feet of somebody who plays WoW, just like all that forum chatter and such coincidentally takes place on WoW-related forums.

The real news here

The news here isn't that Lachowicz plays WoW. It's that someone wrote these words with a straight face, on purpose, and expected people to take it seriously:

It's not even factually accurate! Blizzard reminds us it's not the players' game but Blizzard's world all the time. Blizzard says that so often that it sounds like your drunk friend claiming, "I love you, man!"

Sure, I'm nitpicking here, but that's about all I can do when I'm trying to have a rational, reasonable discussion about this mess. Colleen's World claims the average WoW gamer is 28 years old and spends 22.7 hours a week playing WoW. Clearly, the Maine Republican party wasn't around during the end of Cataclysm. And besides, I'm not sure when being 28 became a bad thing. Lots of people are 28, a decade after joining the military, becoming adults, and learning how to shave. It's an age, not a failing.

Said everyone, ever

I can see why the Republicans might take umbrage with Lachowicz's characterization of the Tea Party, but most of these complaints sprint quickly into a long, running dive off the pier of reality. Witness some of the damning quotes Colleen's World ferreted out of Lachowicz's online life:

• "I wish I wasn't at work." Said everyone, ever.

• "So I'm a level 68 orc rogue girl. That means I stab things... a lot." This one gets a lot of play because she right out says "Who would have thought that a peace-lovin', social worker and democrat would enjoy that?" But that was during Wrath of the Lich King. Yes, in fact, I never would have thought anyone would have enjoyed playing a rogue during WotLK. If the Republicans were knocking Lachowicz for her class choice, they'd have a stronger argument.

• "a**kicking party" Colleen's World felt the need to censor the word, not me. But that was it. Quoted alone. The specter of a good "a**kicking party" was terrifying to Colleen's World.

I mean, really, you're going to have to read this yourself. This whole tactic of slamming Lachowicz for playing WoW is juvenile and silly.

Stay classy, politics

While you're looking for more on this story, don't miss the Maine GOP press release. If you can get it to come up. The flock of WoW players going to see the website so that they may point and laugh have rendered it unreliable.

Let me repeat the point here for folks who are looking to read partisan politics into this editorial. Your online life (and speech) is public and a matter of record. That's just life. Picking on minutae and spinning commentary is just the way politics happen these days. But the WoW stuff? That's pretty lame. Please, stop, and get back to the issues.

P.S. And how about calling out all those guild mates and harassment by pointing out Lachowicz's Battle.net profile? Classy!