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Rumor Roundup: Attack of the copycats


Apple's competitors have almost devolved to the point of self-parody. Samsung and Google are perfect examples; they're now both gearing up to push products to market simply because Apple has been rumored to be working on a wearable computer or "iWatch." Some blatantly anti-Apple pundits will of course lambast Apple's product as "unoriginal" or "derivative" when/if it ever comes to market, since Samsung and Google will presumably have their own versions available for sale first.

The one thing that's most predictable about Apple "analysis" is its complete lack of grounding in logic.

Apple rumored to launch Retina iPad mini in Q3 2013 (AppleInsider)

Asian sources throw darts at a wall and come up with yet another purported launch date for the next-gen iPad mini with Retina Display. There's no proof, of course, so don't put too much money down on this rumor.

Apple revival said to start with 'killer feature' planned for iPhone 5S (BGR)

From the article: "Huberty gave no hint about what this 'killer feature' might entail." That's probably because she has no idea. Apple isn't going to reveal potential features ahead of schedule to a financial analyst.

Apple expected to double dividend to $16 billion, among highest in U.S. history (BGR)

Some analyst thinks Apple's going to double its dividend payouts. Somehow, having over a hundred billion dollars in cash sitting around is a huge problem. I wish I had problems like that.

Survey shows huge interest in an HDTV from Apple, but few willing to commit (BGR)

69 percent of people surveyed said they might consider purchasing a product that Apple has shown no interest in building and that most reasonable people have accepted will likely never see the light of day. On the other hand, only 15 percent would "feel comfortable" buying a completely mythical product.

Apple predicted to gain additional U.S. smartphone share over Samsung in 2013 (AppleInsider)

Some analyst thinks Apple will gobble up some of Samsung's market share this year following a seemingly lackluster product launch for the Samsung Galaxy S IV. Hmmm... seems Samsung is even copying Apple's "disappointing" product launches now. Can "Samsung is DOOMED" be far behind?

iPhone 5S to Get Upgraded Camera and Processor, Could Ship to Retailers in the 3rd Quarter (MacRumors)

"Digitimes is reporting" -- blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. "Reporting" isn't the proper word for what Digitimes is doing. "Making [expletive deleted] up" is more like it.

New low-end iPhone expected to cost half as much as iPhone 5, margins seen at 38% (BGR)

Some analysts threw a bunch of numbers around about a product not even remotely confirmed to exist. If this sounds familiar, that's because it's been happening at an average of once per week this whole year. None of these people actually have any clue how much this product will cost consumers, how much it will cost to make, or if it even exists at all. The more specific their numbers, the more laughable their predictions.

Google Reportedly Working on Its Own Android Smart Watch (MacRumors)

Samsung and Google are no longer content to copy existing Apple products; now they've moved on to copying rumored Apple products. It's only a matter of time before Google dispatches private eyes to start sifting through Jonathan Ive's trash bins.

Rumor: Apple to launch cheaper iPhone with plastic casing, non-Retina display this summer (AppleInsider)

Some analyst makes a series of unsourced and unbelievable claims about a low-cost iPhone. Just like every other analyst on the planet, he has no proof for any of these claims. Not a shred. The claim that a new iPhone will debut without a Retina Display is particularly appalling -- I don't know how this analyst expected anyone to buy that nonsense. But does that stop the rumor blogs from reporting it anyway? Nope.

Alleged iPhone 5S Home Button, Vibrator and Volume/Mute Flex Cable Parts Surface (MacRumors)

And here we go... incredibly exciting parts leaks here. If by "incredibly exciting" you mean "not remotely exciting in the slightest."

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