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Liveblogging the opening ceremonies of BlizzCon 2014

You call it snark, I call it a healthy dose of world-weary cynicism.

Dear readers, I am going to be wholly honest with you. When I was asked if I could do this liveblog for BlizzCon, I thought I was being asked if I was capable. Like asking "can you ride your bike with no handlebars" or "can you sing to a cat until it leaves the room in disgust." But here I am now, so apparently the question was significantly less rhetorical than I had originally assumed and now I need to actually do this.

You can watch the standard definition feed of the convention's opening ceremonies on the official site for free. I'll be liveblogging the important announcements in the comments if you're in a place where you can't watch along (at work, misplaced your headphones, hiding in an Amish barn and fearing discovery should your phone give away even the slightest beep); highlights will be collected past the break. There will probably be announcements about Blizzard games! Like World of Warcraft and Hearthstone and maybe, if it's very lucky, StarCraft II.



Summary of the highlights from the liveblog in the comments below (times in EST):

2:05p - Mike Morhaime's on stage.
2:06p - Morhaime basically just denounced #Gamergate right off the bat. "Let's take a stand against hate and harassment" and "Let's carry the good vibes from this weekend out into the world."
2:10p - All about the WoW movie!
2:13p - Let's roll the e-sports promo video.
2:15p - Heroes of the Storm is up next with new heroes Jaina and Thrall. Closed beta coming January 13th.
2:18p - Jason Chayes takes the stage for Hearthstone. It's definitely releasing on Android in December. Rumors of the gnomish/gobbo inventor expansion theme were true: Goblins vs. Gnomes. Over 120 cards. Launching in December.
2:23p - Dustin Browder on stage to talk StarCraft II. Legacy of the Void is a standalone pack, not a linear expansion. Legacy of the Void reunites the Protoss tribe, letting you command the Protoss arkship against the Xel'naga.
2:29p - Chris Metzen on stage to talk WoW.
2:34p - Video about the new game! Overwatch is real. Sci-fi superhero!
2:40p - The video game is "nearer than you think."
2:41p - Jeff Kaplan on stage to talk Overwatch. It's a "very approachable" "team-based multiplayer shooter that's completely action-packed." Here comes a gameplay movie. It looks like Blizzard Team Fortress.
2:48p - Beta coming in 2015. Signups live now.
2:50p - Over now. Damn. Not much on WoW.