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11 of the most innocuous goods for sale on the deep-web

Ted Cullen, @twisterdotcom

Scouring the deep-web can at times be a harrowing experience, and whilst it is most widely used for Bitcoin scams and drugs, there are a wealth of other, more innocuous things you can purchase from these normally inaccessible marketplaces. To take the legwork out of it, we've found 11 of the least questionable purchases you can make with your fluctuating Bitcoin...

1. Credit Card LED Lamp

Via Mr Nice Guy
For over twice the price you can acquire one of these on Amazon, you can get a "USEFUL LITTLE PRODUCT" delivered without it showing up on your bank statements.

2. SciFi Audiobooks

SciFi Audiobooks
Via Silkktie
If you went to see Enders Game in the cinema last year and thought you'd like to hear more stories like that, then this compilation of audiobooks from author, Orson Scott Card is for you. Having said that, you can also grab one for free from Audible for a guilt free conscience.

3. 97 Marriage and Relationship Tips

97 Marriage and Relationship Tips
Via BlackBank
Books make up a fair share of the innocuous purchases to be made on the dark net. If your marriage is on the rocks but you don't want your bank to know, go ahead and grab these handy tips. Look at that couple. Look how happy they are. That could be you.

4. "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo

"Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo
Via BlackBank
Not sure whether David DeAngelo is selling this himself or not, but either way, if you're having trouble with your dating game and refuse to get on the Tinder-Bandwagon, this purchase can be made completely legally. It's even got a 4.07/5 from GoodReads.

5. Non-Latex Gloves

Non-Latex Gloves
Via Silkktie
Seriously... just get them from Amazon.

6. Bewb Writing

Bewb Writing
Via Abraxas
The less said about this one the better IMO, but if this is your thing... hey... now you know where to get it.

7. Logo Design

Logo Design
Via Mr Nice Guy
"for this price I will design a simple logo for you. Also i can customize for a better logo for you, or course we will need to talk about what do you need and depend of that the price, don't worry i am excellent quality and i alway charge cheap".
For a third of this price and non of the hassle, Fiverr has you covered.

8. Coolest Bike Ever

Coolest Bike Ever
Via Nucleus
Seriously, who is buying a bike from a dark-web marketplace? It might be the Coolest Bike Ever, but then again, it might also be the most stolen bike ever.

9. Quad Bike

Quad Bike
Via MiddleEarth
The same applies for this Quad. Although, at least they aren't implying any sort of coolness.

10. ACTUAL Soap (Probably)

ACTUAL Soap (Probably)
Via MiddleEarth
This one is difficult to verify, as originally, I had thought it was a code for something else, but after looking into it, I'm pretty sure it's just soap. Actual soap. 15 Bars for around £30 might seem like a fair deal, but jesus, what's wrong with LUSH?

11. 1 lb Pure Sand

1 lb Pure Sand
Via Nucleus
"Like from the motherfucking beach yo!" 1 lb of the finest uncut sand this side of Columbia. 90% Sure this one is a joke, but if your agoraphobic self ever found Amazon down and your sandpit empty, here's your go to distributor.
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