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Metareview - In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
We think it's safe to assume that everybody who's reading this is familiar with Uwe Boll and his auspiciously terrible body of work, which includes such gems as "Bloodrayne", "House of the Dead", and Rotten Tomatoes' second worst reviewed movie of all time, "Alone in the Dark". That's why it may surprise you to learn that Boll's latest (and possibly last) big-budget box office flop, "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale", is actually ... wretched, of course! Don't be silly.In this very special edition of Metareview, we're taking a look at the cream of the crop of the film's reviews, which have already provided us with more entertainment than the actual movie ever could. Join with us in our appreciation of these brave reviewers, who have unwittingly tacked their own names onto Boll's lengthy "to be punched in the face repeatedly" list. Sam Adams - Los Angeles Times: "Uwe Boll isn't the worst director in the world, but In the Name of the King might be more enjoyable if he were." Dustin Putman - TheMovieBoy.com: "[The movie] would be irredeemable if not for its near-brilliant ability to give the viewer douche chills for 127 solid minutes." Jim Lane - Sacramento News and Review: "It's like a Florida dinner theater production of The Lord of the Rings, though it's not without enjoyment if you're in a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 frame of mind." Scott Weinberg - Cinematical: "If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Uwe Boll just spent 126 minutes telling Peter Jackson how thin, talented and gorgeous he is." Joe Leydon - Variety: "Doug Taylor's script, loosely based on the "Dungeon Siege" vidgame, is a lazy mash-up of cliched situations, grandiose speechifying and verbal anachronisms. But, then again, "In the Name of the King" is the sort of half-baked farrago that brings out the worst, or the least, in almost everyone involved."
'Postal' creator bugged by Boll's boxing stint
A month ago, Uwe Boll put up a call to critics to "put up or shut up!" The plan was to have the ill-reputed game director fly the brave souls who "put up" to Vancouver to enter a boxing ring with him (so far, we know of one critic who took the call). The matches will be filmed, shown on the internet, and included in the upcoming game-to-film adaptation Postal.But Uwe Boll forgot to inform Postal creator Running With Scissors. In their latest newsletter, the company had this to say:Oh yeah, when asked if he had any comment to make on Uwe's latest PR brainstorm, Vince Desi had his head buried in his hands, muttering only: "I didn't know he was going to do this. He didn't tell me."The infamous developer does not sound too pleased. But in an e-mail exchange with 1UP, Boll conveys that "all is good" and that he has followed their notes for the treatment. We've got plenty of time to speculate, though: Postal will not start filming until work finishes up on the Dungeon Siege adaptation and a non-game film entitled Seed.[via 1UP]
