Yahtzee
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Yahtzee HD now on iPad, please don't scream 'yahtzee!' in public
When's the last time you saw another person? A real human being? You see, we're stuck here. Inside the internet. And short of Facebook profile pics and, well, some questionable adult sites (is foot crushing really a thing?) we haven't seen anyone in years. That's why it's so great to see EA bringing another Hasbro classic to yet another digital platform, with its release of Yahtzee HD for iPad. It's just like Yahtzee for real life, except made entirely of ones and zeroes. Miss the tactile feeling of rolling dice out of a plastic cup? Travis Boatman, Vice President of Worldwide Studios for EA Mobile, says that "rolling the dice across the iPad's expansive screen is addicting." Cursed with an army of digi-friends and no meat-based friends, like we are? Use Facebook Connect "to issue friendly challenges and post high scores." All yours for the asking price of $5. %Gallery-101866%
Yahtzee's novel Mogworld available for pre-order
Although the Massively staff often has difficulty reading books, what with their "walls of text" and poor graphics engine, we'd be remiss to ignore this terrific news. Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, better known as "That Zero Punctuation Guy," is looking to increase his considerable fame and fortune by heading into the literary world with his debut novel Mogworld. The profanely amusing game critic has become well-known for his verbal barrages against titles like EVE Online and Age of Conan, as well as being an amateur game designer in his spare time. As a comedic fantasy, Yahtzee claims to draw from his MMO experience for Mogworld: In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. You can pre-order Mogworld on Amazon.com or by staking out a nice, comfy spot at your local book retailer.
Yahtzee and others to open Australian video game bar
Rather than make a four-to-six minute video decrying the lack of gaming-themed bars in his current country of residence, The Escapist's Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has partnered with three other gentlemen to open Mana Bar. According to the press release, the Brisbane-based bar will open in February and targets "a wider casual market, while still catering to the hardcore gamer crowd." There is no charge for entry or to play games (from "the latest video game systems"), and the presser details plans for tournaments and game release parties (among other things). The bar even has a Twitter and Facebook page up already with plenty of extra details and photos should you choose to follow along with the renovation process. Unfortunately, the only mention of refreshments is the "unique selection of drinks and custom cocktails" available, as well as the picture you see above. We are anxiously awaiting the presumably lengthy beer list.
GameX 2009: Victorian spaceships with Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw of the infamous Zero Punctuation reviews on The Escapist is a bit tricky to track down, but we were able to get some time in with him at this year's GameX in Philadelphia. We pitched the fast talking reviewer some questions to get his opinion on the MMO genre beyond his reviews of Tabula Rasa and EVE Online, and found out some interesting things -- like victorian steampunk spaceships are awesome. So what breaks the MMO genre for Yahtzee? Will more MMOs be smash... er... featured on Zero Punctuation? If you're wondering the answers to these questions, then wonder no more! Just click on through after the break to check out our video interview!
This Wednesday: Hasbro Family Game Night matches with XBLA
If you, like young Mikey, love matching rows of similarly colored checkers but can't stand being around other people and all their germs, your salvation will arrive this Wednesday in the form of Connect Four, one of the first offerings in Xbox Live's Hasbro Family Game Night series.Other games arriving today include Scrabble, Yahtzee and Battleship with Boggle, Sorry! and Sorry! Sliders coming later in the year. All the titles will be playable in a virtual game room that, in some way, incorporates Avatars. If you'd like to play beloved family games as you replace your friends and loved ones with digital simulacra, you can expect to pony up 800 ($10) a piece. (Yeah, you read that right. A piece.)%Gallery-42087%
Hasbro Family Games to release mid-March, include Avatar support
Nestled in a press release announcing the inclusion of Yahtzee in Hasbro Family Game Night (something we already knew) is confirmation that four Hasbro games will be releasing on Xbox Live Arcade sometime this March. Scrabble, Connect Four, Battleship and Yahtzee will be the first four Hasbro titles made available when Xbox Live's special Family Game Night Destination launches next month. Boggle, Sorry! and Sorry! Sliders will release later this year. The press release also confirms Avatars will be supported and that each title can be purchased individually for 800 ($10). If that wasn''t enough information, we're told the Family Game Night Destination lets players launch Hasbro games from their own customized game room. This uniquely decorated space accommodates Mr. Potato Head, can be shared with friends and sounds to be somewhat inspired by Home. %Gallery-45867%
Scrabble is XBLA bound, Hasbro channel coming soon
After it was first rumored nearly a year ago (along with Monopoly), EA has announced that Scrabble is indeed heading to Xbox Live Arcade. The company also announced the creation of a brand new Hasbro Family Game Night "channel" in Xbox Live Arcade. The channel will serve as a "digital game closet," according to EA Hasbro general manager Chip Lange, where players can quickly access various Hasbro games without leaving the channel. Players will be able to "earn virtual trophies, furniture and themes" to decorate their closets by playing Hasbro games. In addition to Scrabble, other titles planned for the service include Sorry!, Sorry! Sliders, Battleship, Connect Four, Boggle and Yahtzee. The Hasbro Family Game Night channel is set to debut this spring, though no specific dates have been given for any of the individual game releases. Oh, one more thing: No Monopoly mentioned, folks. Sorry. [Via Joystiq]
XBLA receiving Hasbro game channel; EA's Scrabble coming to handhelds, consoles
Electronic Arts announced today that Scrabble will make its way to the DS and PSP in March, and to Xbox Live Arcade at a later date. Beginning in spring, XBLA will not only receive the perennial wordsmith board game, but also Boggle, Battleship, Yahtzee, Connect Four, Sorry! and Sorry!Sliders. In a very interesting development, XBLA will also receive a branded "Hasbro Family Game Night" channel. Chip Lange, general manager of EA Hasbro, says it'll allow players to easily find family-friendly digital board games. We only wish that Microsoft would extend such a courtesy to the high-quality European board games that are also available on the service.
Yahtzee gets in front of the camera on Game Damage
We love Yahtzee, but our love is constantly being tempered by a severe mistrust of disembodied voices (A Christmas Story? Ho-ho-horrifying.) Thankfully, the fast-talking game critic has put on some pants, gathered a couple of friends (co-hosts Yug and Matt), gotten a camera and created Game Damage, a video game show pilot that they're hoping attracts some network attention.The crew is still trying to find a balance between being TV hosts and just talking, and some bits fall flat. But Yahtzee (and the offbeat topics) would probably be enough reason for us to tune in. Watch after the break and see if you agree.
Zero Punctuation takes on Sonic Unleashed
In this week's Zero Punctuation, imperator of ire and maharajah of moodiness Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has taken time out to sling a few quick-witted barbs at Sonic Unleashed.True to form, Yahtzee quickly sets about smacking Unleashed down a peg or ten; in fact, this could be one of the angriest pieces we've seen from Croshaw in some time. It didn't totally agree with our own mainly scathing review, either: for one, he seems to prefer the Werehog Wolfhog stages (madness, we say, but horses for courses, and all that), and for two, we actually quite liked the day stages, whereas Yahtzee is revulsed.%Gallery-19031%
Zero Punctuation almost, sort of likes Left 4 Dead
It's been a while since we've checked in with our old friend Yahtzee, so we were eager to hear his thoughts on one of our favorite games in recent memory: Left 4 Dead. And guess what?! He didn't hate it! ... Well, since we're still in Reality Prime, he had plenty of mean things to say about it, but he was probably as nice as he could be without some sort of dimensional shift.See how much of his assessment you agree with in the video right here.
Guitar Hero World Tour gets Yahtzeed
For his latest Zero Punctuation review, renowned intertubes misanthrope Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has cast his jaded eye over Activision's Guitar Hero: World Tour.Things start off well between reviewer and game (though Rock Band's troubled relationship with Australia undoubtedly has something to do with this) but Yahtzee soon finds assorted holes to pick at, with some of his targets including the pointlessness of Spanish language songs in an English language release, the new slide bar on World Tour's guitars, and the game's credentials as a karaoke simulator. Hit up The Escapist for the review in full or simply jump past the break.%Gallery-23491%
Zero Punctuation force chokes The Force Unleashed
It's been a while since master of misanthropy Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw was featured on these pages, but now he's back, in full sneering mode, with a scathing review of the colossally popular Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Like many of us, Yahtzee hoped the Wii's motion-sensing capabilities would open the door to a whole new galaxy of light saber swish-a-thons that worked, only to be disappointed.His ire is eventually directed towards the "temperamental" Wii Remote, which he describes as "like playing any other console but with all the buttons randomly reassigned every couple of seconds." Ouch. Bound past the jump for the full, NSFW review.%Gallery-33998%
Zero Punctuation is unimpressed with Spore
Oh come now, don't look so surprised, you had to know this was coming. After Will Wright spent a stone cold decade building his delicate sand castle of simulated life, did you really think Yahtzee would be able to resist letting his editorial foot careen through the spires, coating young Will's glasses in sand and tears? Of course not.Yahtzee reiterates most of the complaints about Spore you've heard from reviewers already, but at least he does it a lot more entertainingly than most of them. Check it out after the break.
Zero Punctuation braves interstellar spreadsheets in EVE Online
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee has reached geek culture superstardom by sacrificing sacred cows. By profanely slamming popular franchises such as Halo and Super Smash Bros., he's brought down the wrath -- and the web traffic -- of virtually the entire gaming community. There's a running joke through many of his animated reviews, though: he hates MMORPGs.Both Tabula Rasa and Age of Conan got the full treatment, and Yahtzee has even criticized some single-player games (such as The Witcher) just for sharing gameplay elements with MMORPGs. His fans apparently thought he was being a bit too harsh. "Not all MMORPGs are the same," they presumably said. "Try EVE Online. It's different!"And so he did. It turns out that "different" might be in the eye of the beholder. Or just as likely, MMORPGs can never be different enough for Yahtzee! The humorous (and as usual, NSFW) video review is embedded above, courtesy of The Escapist.
Zero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3
This week's Zero Punctuation makes us wonder: What E3 is Yahtzee talking about? Perhaps things seemed different from the outside, but this year's show actually saw a slew of original titles -- shockingly enough, many from the maw of EA. Sure, there is some serious sequelitus going on (and certain outlets really need to stop riding RE4 v2 RE5's rooster), but we were pleasantly surprised by some of the new IPs. Oh well, no sense in trying to convey some semblance of reason here. Carry on with the amusing hate.Check out Yahtzee's NSFW take on E3 after the break.
Zero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria
No matter how much the hardcore MMORPG crowd may want to deny it, almost every game in the genre wants to be, or wishes it could have been, World or Warcraft. This week's Zero Punctuation says as much, with Yahtzee trying to enjoy his Hyborian adventure but wandering into familiar -- but not quite right -- WoW territory. Check out the NSFW review of Age of Conan after the break.
Zero Punctuation whips Indy into shape
Yahtzee's at it again, this time turning his sights toward the latest LEGO title, LEGO Indiana Jones. While he does do his usual rant against the game's faults, Yahtzee did manage to squeeze some favorable adjectives out. As usual, head past the break to check out his NSFW ramblings and be sure to tell us what you think of LEGO Indiana Jones in the comments.%Gallery-15539%
Zero Punctuation whips it good with Lego Indy
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee takes on both the Lego Indiana Jones game and the latest movie in his latest review. For his take on the game, the ornery critic comes up with an equation for figuring out how much you'll enjoy playing as Indy in the blockified platformer. If doing mathematicals isn't your thing, just think about how much fun you'll have killing Short Round -- or Willie -- over and over again. Although it still doesn't beat the cathartic Jar-Jar killing of the Lego Star Wars game. This week's NSFW ZP review of Lego Indy can be found after the break.
Readers pick best webcomic, with or without Yahtzee
Yeah, we figured the Zero Punctuation would do well in the webcomic wrapup, by a large margin. Here's how it breaks down, with and without the Yahtzee factor:With the Yahtzee Factor Zero Punctuation (65.3%) (TIE) Monday Night Crew (9.2%) (TIE) Castle Vidcons (9.2%) Without the Yahtzee Factor (TIE) Monday Night Crew (26.5%) (TIE) Castle Vidcons (26.5%) PVP Online (17.6%) Thanks to everyone voted. We'll be going Yahtzee-less from now on; be sure to let us know of any game-related webcomics you stumble upon this week!
