CaptionContest
Latest
Caption Contest: HTC Chairwoman Cher Wang drops by Apple's Palo Alto Store
So what if Apple might be suing your company for millions and billions of dollars? You're Cher Wang and Cher Wang shops wherever she damn well pleases. HTC's co-founder and Chairwoman was recently photographed taking a leisurely gander at Apple's wares, with husband Wen-Chi Chen -- who just happens to be CEO of VIA Technologies -- tagging along as well. The Palo Alto Geniuses look to have been their usual friendly selves, though their failure to put an iPhone in Mrs. Wang's hands qualifies as a major missed opportunity in our eyes. Thomas: "In Taiwan, iPhone means horse." Josh F.: "Go ahead, cuff me if you can." Dana: "A stylus! You know. You hold it like this." Vlad: "Cher Wang thought impersonating a zombie would help her blend in with the Apple Store patrons. As we can tell from the unperturbed employees, she was right." Brad: "If you can guess which hand the candy's in, you win!" Terrence: "...and this is my trusty servant Patsy." Amar: "I'm sorry, Mrs. Wang, we're all out of dirtbikes."
Caption Contest: you shall not interrupt Gandalf's 3D viewing session
Nobody likes being bothered while they're really getting into a movie, and as we all know you can't really get into a movie unless it's in 3D. Right? Sir Ian McKellen took things a step further, not only watching a screening of The Hobbit in the third dimension but doing it in character, and looking ever so slightly perturbed at having his viewing session interrupted by a rogue photographer. The guy in the back doesn't seem to mind, though. Thomas: "Galadriel, is that new shampoo?" Tim: "These glasses may be passive but I you may find me getting very aggressive if you use that flash one more time." Brian: "I'll tell you what, you're making me Gandalf the Red right now." Joe: "Would 'one standard to rule them all' be asking too much?" Michael: "ZZ Top called, they want their roadie back" Terrence: "Even Gandalf the Grey is powerless against the magic of these glasses which make any man look like a 90-year-old blind woman." Richard Lai: "Ha, no 3D for that flaming cyclops in Mordor." Darren: "One ring. Two Towers. 3Ds." Christopher: "Sir Ian McKellen: the latest victim of Rick Rubin's Ambush Makeover." Sean Buckley: "Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. What have I told you about interrupting me during my stories?" Josh Fruhlinger: "You know how they say 3D is bad for children? This dude is 14." Myriam: "Yes, wizards get hangovers too. Are you happy now?"
Caption Contest: Samsung hires David Beckham as a global brand ambassador
David Beckham is a man that needs no introduction. Indeed, Samsung hopes he'll be the one making the introductions, as it's just signed up the English footballer to act as its global brand ambassador. Mr. Becks will be responsible for disseminating the news that Samsung is one of the major sponsors of the London 2012 Olympics, and we can see he's already received the first tranche of his remuneration in the form of a Galaxy S II. Lucky him. Thomas: "I'm sorry, I got the Spanish version, this one says 'Sii' on it." Vlad: "At 8.49mm, this phone's almost as thin as my wife!" Tim: "I don't know who you are or what this is, but I'm sure Victoria will love it." Amar: "Finally, a Galaxy that won't bench me!" Darren: "Man, this thing crushes my Aura." Richard Lai: "As part of the deal, Samsung will also be announcing the Galaxy S Beckham. OK, it's just a golden dual-core." Myriam: "So you want me to drop-kick this in front of the cameras, right?" Zach Honig: "Maybe in this Galaxy I can win a World Cup."
Caption contest: Spike Lee asks Obama to smile for the camera
Just because it can doesn't mean you should... Joe Flatley: "Just a minute, Girl 6 is streaming on Netflix." Richard Lawler: "Give me 20 D Energizers." Terrence: "The only question is: kaleidescope or twirl?" Brian: "I'm not getting any bars. Am I holding this right?" Zach Honig: "Hey Richard Branson, I found your doppelganger!" Michael Gorman: "I'm not sure what's more awkward -- photography with a tablet or the beret / turtleneck fashion combo" Chris Trout: "I was hoping to get Rosie Perez, but I suppose you'll do." Don: "It's still your move in Words With Friends, Mr. President." Tim: "Okay Barack, you distract him while I sneak up and..." Myriam: "Sorry, Mr. President... I just can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Caption contest: Nokia stand at MIX 11
We were wandering about here at MIX 11 -- Microsoft's annual web developer event -- when we stumbled upon these lovely people at this tiny Nokia stand peddling several Symbian phones. Judging from the smiles, we're pretty sure they're stoked about the recent Microsoft partnership announcement -- just don't bring up the lack of actual Windows Phone devices. Thomas: "When you squint, it looks just like Windows Mobile 6." Sean Hollister: "Ballmer told us developers were important, so we came to see what they looked like." Myriam: "We don't have any Windows Phone hardware, but we look pretty! Now, about that E7 review..." Vlad: "And here's our all-new, environmentally friendly roadmap. It's made of 100 percent recycled materials." Darren: "What, you didn't know? Elop's still on the payroll." Chris Trout: "Sure we'll pose for a picture, but then you have to tell us where the penny slots are." Richard Lawler: "Would this be more or less awkward if we were at Google I/O?" Josh F.: "Please talk to us!" Terrence: "Wait, you mean this isn't the Vintage Computing Festival?
Caption contest: this is why grocery stores shouldn't sell smartphones
"We call it a very nice phone and you can get it on a 12 month contract." Oh, really, Tesco? Nifty! So, how much is that bag of day-old doughnuts... with and without a contract? Don: "Knowing my luck, if I buy this now they'll have an iPhone 4 with a Bold keyboard on sale next week." Darren: "Do you guys sell a vegan model?" Michael: "At Tesco, we've got raspberries, strawberries, and... ThunderBerries?" Tim: "With Android, are you supposed to squeeze it or shake it to tell if it's ripe?" Chris: "You can find it in the toothpaste aisle of your local grocery store." Myriam: "Behold the Desire Torch, a new AndroBerry phone from HTRIM... now available in the cheese aisle." Richard Lai: "By popular demand we have extended our Tesco Mobile Rewards offer to our shanzhai range." Sean Hollister: "And Tesco embraced fragmentation, the only way it knew how." Vlad: "Hey, if RIM's gonna use our apps on its tablet, then we're gonna use its buttons on our phones. Fair's fair." [Thanks, Matt O.]
Caption Contest: Russian prez is impressed by iPad 2
In non-Soviet Russia... presidents tend to receive some pretty swanky high-tech gifts. Dmitry Medvedev, leader of the good people of Russia and one of the few men to successfully rock denims with a suit jacket, has been bestowed with a fresh new iPad 2 and his facial expression seems to suggest he was immediately irradiated with blasts of magic, fairy dust, and the smiles of innocent children from across the world. We just hope he hasn't seen the crummy camera yet, he is something of a tablet photography connoisseur. Darren: "Why, lookie there! I can see Alaska from my iPad 2!" Joe: "I can't believe I'm playing chess with Garry Kasparov!" Jose: "I wonder if Barack also likes to play Risk on his iPad." Josh F.: "See? The cat is talking but he's saying 'has' instead of 'have!'" Don: "Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?" Tim: "Look, it already has Words with Comrades installed!" Vlad: "And this has push notifications for when Mr. Putin has instructions for me, yes?" Richard Lawler: "10,000 apps and it's still cheaper than buying the New Jersey Nets." Myriam: "And so if I tap here, it opens the door to the shark tank... and over here are the laser controls. Cool, eh?" Richard Lai: "Hullo Anna!"
Caption contest, video edition: Android gets its groove back
The Android mascot certainly gets around, there's no doubt about that -- but did you know it can also get down? Watch and learn. Tim: "And thus the talent portion of the Ms. Xperia Arc pageant proved to be far more interesting than the swimsuit competition." Darren: "First stop: Akihabara Mall. Next stop: Dancing with the Stars." Joe: "Fragmentation or no, our man can still krump with the best of them." Don: "And now, a preview of Android 3.2: Electric Boogaloo." Sam: "What version of Android is the person in the costume running?" Chris: "I call this next move the Force Close." Myriam: "Go-go gadget Android dance app?" Michael: "I've seen b-boys and b-girls, but never knew there were b-bots." Richard Lawler: "Chris Brown is making a quick comeback after today's Good Morning America blowup." Christopher: "Lady Gaga fires stylist following first mall appearance." Sean Hollister: "Look ma, no thumbs!" [Thanks, Anders]
Caption Contest: Obama has dinner with tech industry CEOs
Barack Obama is a president well known for being in touch with technology, so it's no surprise to see him wining and dining the industry's biggest decision makers. Larry Ellison, Eric Schmidt, Carol Bartz, Mark Zuckerberg, and yes, even Steve Jobs joined el presidente for an informal dinner on Thursday to discuss important things like jobs, education, and research spending. We're not here for that, though, we're here to drop zingers about one all-powerful dude and his big-time CEO buddies. Thomas: "Here's to project Soylent Green." Joe: "This sure beats the Four Loko Summit we held last summer on the White House lawn." Chris: "So let's just jam through this dinner real quick." Josh T: "I hope no one authorizes a 'kill switch' on this party." Paul: "At this very moment we're millions of miles from a doomed planet Earth!" Nilay: "Gentlemen, Ballmer has neutralized the Finnish threat." Richard Lai: "Drink up, kids -- it's Dance Central time!" Tim: "Zuck, it's like Final Club, except with the President."
Caption contest: publicity stunt generating publicity
We do hate to play into wily PR folks' attention-grabbing campaigns, but when they're quite so nutty, we can't help but admire them. UK network Three is trying to promote its hotspots (we think) by having dudes wearing full-body underwear running around with "Human Hotspot" signs and what looks like part of the Engadget logo throughout London. We don't get it, but we do love it. Thomas: "I can look up your WEP." Vlad: "Please note, dressing up as a Trojan won't protect you from actual trojans." Nilay: "Touch my junk and I'll have you arrested." Darren: "I'm probably working... even if the tube drivers aren't." Richard Lai: "My SSID is quite well hidden, if I may say so." Carlos: "I'm hot... or not?" Tim: "I knew that Fantastic Four movie was a bad career move. Time for a new agent." Ross: "Ask about where I keep my SIM card." Myriam: "Spot the hotness." Sam: "The Blue Man Group member that never was." Josh T.: "Due to his drug habit and carousing, the Invisible Man had been forced into a number of demeaning jobs."
Caption Contest: Steve Ballmer goes on kill-crazy rampage at Microsoft Store
In the photo above you see Microsoft's Steve Ballmer performing a ribbon cutting at the company's new store in Bellevue, Washington. Shortly after finishing with the ribbon, Ballmer proceeded to rampage the store and patrons, leaving 17 dead, 6 wounded, and a stunned Miley Cyrus wondering if she had made the wisest career decisions. Ballmer was finally subdued by Dave Matthews, who knocked the CEO unconscious with an 8-foot bong. Josh: "I'm a PC, and I'm going to mess up your insides so bad, you'll pray for death." Ben Bowers: "Anyone else want to claim Windows 7 was their idea?" Chris: "To the cloud! With Windows 7 and Windows Live, Microsoft can mix and match its CEO's best faces until it's able to piece together a photo it's proud to share." Ross: "Using the power of Control-X while mobile is just one of the many superpowers Ballmer has and Windows Phone 7 users don't." Darren: "Moments before this tremendous occasion, Ballmer begrudgingly confirmed a prompt questioning his true intentions to dismantle a red ribbon." Nilay: "Touch my junk and I'll have you arrested." Don: "There can only be one!" Vlad: "I love this company! I love it so much I'm gonna cut it up into little pieces and eat it!" Joe: "Clearly event organizers hadn't planned for every possible emergency." Thomas: "Baby Ballmer cuts his own cord thankyouverymuch." Myriam: "Developers! It's time to get cut and paste into Windows Phone 7..."
Caption contest: Gulliver's iPhone makes it big in Hollywood
So apparently the hidden island of Lilliput has cellular coverage, but who cares -- it's still gonna be another crap movie. Way to ruin Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black. Joe: "Finally, Angry Birds the way it was meant to be played." Darren: "That's a big iPhone." Josh T.: "The monolith taught the monkeys to kill, also, how to make conference calls." Paul: "Time-traveling Jack Black plants hidden iPhone reference in Jonathan Swift novel." Thomas: "It's holding you wrong." Tim: "Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Cupertino." Vlad: "It's just a jumbo iPhone, I don't see what all the fuss is about." Sam: "What does this mean? It's so bright, so vivid." Sean H.: "And so did the tiny scholars toil for decades to unravel the mysteries of the blue block, and the significance of its question marks." Richard Lai: "Paul Miller makes a cameo appearance in this scene, tut-tuts at the low pixel density." Myriam: "I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!"
Caption contest: not feeling so Mega today
This year's Tokyo Game Show is naturally full of people in interesting costumes, but there was just... something about this Mega Man that caught our eye, making him stand out from the sea of similarly giant-headed mascots. Despite having a laser for an arm he just didn't look like he was having a particularly good day. Josh T.: "Ladies, here's one you don't want to miss. Tall, handsome, shoots fireballs, ice, or electricity from his left arm, total sex machine. Bidding starts at $200." Tim: "You'd be making this face too if you had a saggy diaper that leaks." Darren: "P90x... what a rip-off." Paul: "If I have to star in one more shameless reissue cash-in..." Sean: "...but not as dour as the day he posed for the original Mega Man box art." Vlad: "Stewie was far from happy. He'd specifically asked for an aquamarine supervillain outfit, not turquoise. Philistines!" Chris: "When he gets like this, autograph sessions usually end in a fatality or two." Richard Lai: "Have you seen the size of his cannon in the Mega Man movie? No wonder he's mad."
Caption contest: nothing easy about this rider
Sony Ericsson's booth at IFA this year includes an Xperia-themed chopper that you can sit on and have your picture taken -- with a Sony Ericsson cameraphone, of course. As of press time, no word on when it'll be updated to use unleaded gasoline. Chris: "It'll be available at local dealers mere moments after you finally stop wanting it." Nilay: "Unfortunately, it runs Android 1.6" Darren: "A fine substitute for the PSP Phone you've been dreaming of." Laura: "Fail hog." Ross: "Still no pinch-to-zoom, but at least here, that kind of makes sense." Don: "Mr. Stringer, your chariot awaits." Vlad: "Sony just couldn't help throwing in a bit of product placement in its Terminator 2 remake." Tim: "It's bigger, heavier, slower, and way more expensive than other models -- but hey, look at all that chrome! Oh, yeah, the bike isn't bad either." Sean: "Active shutter glasses sold separately." Thomas: "**Model shown is coming soon. Actual product is a horse."
Caption Contest: the Queen's RIM visit
One does what one must to keep oneself up with the times. Queenie from the British block is still doing her whirlwind tour of Canada, and this latest snapshot shows her on a visit to RIM's production facilities. Josh: "Which one of these buttons summons Sir Lancelot?" Vlad: "I was told there'd be crack and berries here, what's this stuff?" Thomas: "Is that where the little man talks in my ear?" Chris: "Your Majesty's SAS are receiving these fitted with a taser, oil slick, poison gas, and an impossible-to-use interface that will discourage theft by foreign agents." Darren: "Don't you dare send me home with a CDMA version!" Richard Lai: "I don't care what Phillip says -- I'm totally getting this Colorwared. Do you take cash?" Tim: "Hold on, dearie, I haven't typed enough o's into 'Helllloooooooooooo!'" Joanna: "I fancy this browser, it's as slow as me." Joe: "Now I can finally see Fergie's drunken Tweets." Drita: "Careful now, you're holding it the wrong way!" Jacob: "Add me on BBM!!!" Nilay: "I specifically asked for a railroad." Myriam: "Would you like to touch my monkey?" [Thanks, Eddie H.]
Caption contest: Bing bus goes searching for search results
Bus. Ice cream truck. Personal space invader. Vessel of illicit speaker transport. It's all semantics, anyway. Darren: "Man, this smoke is great, but damn if I'm not suddenly craving an orange Push Up." Joe: "Unlike the Street View car, the Bing truck is equally at home on the street or at a rave." Chris: "In the event the authorities get too close for comfort, Bing is prepared to take its entire operation mobile for weeks at a time, stopping only to refuel." Don: "At last, the real decision engine is revealed." Richard Lawler: "Ok, so the plot is, we pick up "models" off the street... and find low cost plane tickets, product reviews or a nice restaurant for them. That's it." Ross: "Creative Picture Framing" indeed, Microsoft. Creative picture framing, indeed. Joanna: "Didn't we just do a sketchy tech van caption contest!?" Richard Lai: "For the last time: we don't sell froyo here." Tim: "Creative Picture Framing was a front for GHOST: Google Hating Operatives with better Search Technology. Jeeves had already arrived in his blacked out Benz, but the Altavista boys were nowhere to be found." Myriam: "Oh, I see! It's an art car for Burning Man... Right." [Thanks, Hosain]
Caption contest: the Verizon van makes a pit stop
Is there any love more forbidden? Nilay: "So... do you have the iPhone?" Ross: "Hey, we ran out of markers coloring our 3G coverage map, can we borrow yours?" Richard Lai: "Stealth sabotage fail." Chris: "Can you hear me now, [censored]?" Thomas: "Trust me, I just need help lifting this couch into the van." Sean Hollister: "Stick together -- it's the T-Mobile way." Vlad: "And this, dear friends, is where all your phone tariffs are calculated, negotiated, and determined. Yay, free market!" Tim: "Ten years ago, a crack wireless unit was kicked out of Bell Atlantic for a crime it didn't commit. This group promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the FCC, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The V-Team." Laura: "There's like, a map for this, right?" Darren: "Hey, someone has to mop the floors around here, right?" Joanna: "Rumor: Verizon to get rollover minutes!" Paul: "What the world needs now..." Myriam: "Hey man, I have some great speakers to sell you real cheap." [Thanks, Brad]
Caption contest: Windows 7-themed restaurant serves 64-bit grub in Taiwan
We (falsely) assumed that the Windows 7 Whopper would be the last food item ever associated with an operating system, and now we're quite literally eating our words. As the story goes, a Hot Fried 77 restaurant has opened up over in Taiwan, offering tons of "Windows-themed meals" for NTD $77 (around $3 in Greenbacks), and judging by the cornucopia of images down there in the source, we're guessing this is no prank. We're debating whether laughing or crying is the appropriate emotion here. Josh T.: "While you're throwing .bak some fries and a burger, you should enjoy a .dll pickle." Nilay: "This is not what we meant by Windows 7 Server." Chris: "I'm a PC, and putting down a pint of Beast while installing Windows 7 was my idea." Richard Lai: "This is the real Windows Genuine Advantage." Joe: "We like to believe that Microsoft started with the restaurant and then reverse engineered an OS." Richard Lawler: "Obviously, there's no word for Seagrams in their language." Darren: "You haven't heard? Alcohol consumption by end-user is now listed in Minimum System Requirements." Josh F.: "When reading 'serve it to us on a plate' in a literal sense goes horribly right." Joanna: "Everything I come up with is just wrong." Don: "Can you tell me where the XP Cafe is?" Paul: "Would you like that in 32-bit or 64-bit?" [Thanks, Chris]
Caption contest: four wheels of human-powered doom
Meet Earthmine's "pedestrian area platform quadracycle." The company claims it's a way to map areas of the world that can't be reached by its camera-equipped SUVs... but we think the truth may be far more sinister than that. Diabolical, even. Joanna: "Do you really need a helmet on one of those?" Chris: "Google finally gets around to mapping Bedrock." Vlad: "My other car is a spymobile." Ross: "Get your cameras runnin', head out on the highway, lookin' for adventure and whatever comes our way" Sean H.: "You mean I can exercise and survive a Smoke Monster attack? Sweet!" Darren: "Yeah, GM contacted me about taking this commercial... instead they made the Aztec." Richard: "See Dr. Zaius, they can be domesticated." Josh F.: "Dive, dive!" Thomas: "Earthmullet: party in the front, business in the back." Tim: "When this periscope's a rockin', don't come a knockin'."
Caption Contest: Justin Bieber is an eenie meenie miney mo lova... of the Sony Dash
Here's a little inside baseball on why yours truly typically works alone at night: when in control, I give writers some, erm, creative mandates. Such as watching an entire Justin Bieber / Sean Kingston music video to contribute to this caption contest... but not telling them when exactly the Sony Dash and Sony Ericsson X10 make their respective cameos. Blatant abuse of authority? Probably, but as we sow, so shall you reap. The unfortunately US-only music video (and a picture of Kingston totally geeking out on subpar smartphone technology) after the break. Nilay: "Is there a widget that alerts me when I'm not a trending topic?" Ross: "You don't need to roll the dice... there's already a widget for that." Chris: "It's small, fits in any decor, and makes a great gift for mom. The Sony Dash also appears in the video." Joanna: "The stars, err, prepubescent boys are just like us: they'd rather play with tech than party." Richard Lai: "This Sony Dash should make.believe I've reached puberty." Sean H: "Not trying to rewind... I've just got to turn down the color temperature, it's ruining my tan." Sam: "Meh, by the time I reach puberty this thing is going to be obsolete." Tim: "I'm glad you're not a real Chumby. This way I'm still the cuddliest thing in the room." Thomas: "Who the hell is Justin Bieber?" Paul: "And I was like baby, baby, baby ohhh, baby, baby... oh, were we supposed to come up with something funny here? [Thanks, Kristopher Piersiak]
