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Drama Mamas: When being female is a problem
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. Sometimes it just feels safer to hide your gender in game when you are female. Hi, I have noticed the last few years getting worse, or that I am just on the wrong realm. That if a guild has a female player in it, once the members find out, their hormones starts to act up. This way I am still more closing up against giving details about me, even if I am still being who I am, I just started to refuse answering questions like what is your realname. (which is commonly asked). They hardly ask for gender, but that comes because they hardly met a girl in WoW (possibly because some are doing the same as me) I guess.. So everyone is male unless proven otherwise. I have no problem with that, however if I prove otherwise, their hormones starts to act up and not sure what happens in this guild, but it will highly end up like most of my last guilds, being driven away from the guild by pestering.
Officers' Quarters: The raid-aholic
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. In this week's email, a raid leader has grave concerns about his guild leader, who puts personal performance and volume of raiding above the good of the guild. Hi Scott I'm a co-raid leader of a fairly successful raid team. Our guild leader describes himself as a raid-a-holic. It was something we used to tease him about but I'm now concerned it's becoming a problem. He has never taken his turn sitting out on standby like the rest of us. He'll only ever accept being put on standby if it's farm night, and he doesn't need gear. My co-raid leader and I try and be absolutely fair on the confirms. When the GL was our top dps, it was an easy excuse to take him often, and then we didn't have to rock the boat. Recently for the first time ever we standbyed him on progress night. That night there was just no other option unless we wanted to be grossly unfair and that was just a step too far. So we were fair and we standbyed him. As soon as he saw the calendar he went mad and started posting in /g, in /o, on battle tag status, on his twitter account which doubles as the guilds (where he posts all our kill videos), that he hoped we wiped all night, as the kill wouldn't count if he wasn't there.
Drama Mamas: Where a kid can be a kid
Those crazy kids ... We sure hear a lot of frustrated cries for them to get off our Azerothian lawns. The usual scenario: The son or daughter of a relative or friend takes up playing the game. She's a great kid and all, and you're happy to make the occasional dungeon run with her -- it's just that every one of those evenings ends up as an exercise in frustration. She's late to meeting spots. She goes AFK in the middle of dungeon run. And she pesters you endlessly whenever you're in a raid: "Are you done yet? What are you killing now? Why did you wipe? Are you going to try again? Is everybody mad? Are you done yet?" Is there a way to keep sharing the occasional fun session with this young player without opening yourself up to a barrage of inconveniences? How can you handle this sticky situation without alienating your relative or friend?
The Daily Grind: Have you ever killed off an MMO character?
Eliot's last Storyboard column about killing off characters in MMORPGs got me thinking how rare that practice is outside of permadeath MMOs, both in RP and a literal sense. It's rare that I delete a serious character that wasn't just a bank mule or throwaway toon, and in fact, the one time I did so, I did it for roleplay effect, killing her off for a story and deleting her for good. I don't think it's too common among my friends, either. In fact, I remember a hung-over guildie logging in one morning, shocked to discover that in a drunken rage the night before, he'd deleted his alchemist. I think that moment in time made me covet my characters; I'm almost afraid to delete them even if I never play them, lest I change my mind later. In City of Heroes, for example, I frequently moved abandoned characters to remote servers just in case. But other folks delete to dramatize roleplay, to get attention, to ensure they can't return, or to ensure a clean slate if they ever do return. What about you guys -- have you ever killed off or deleted a "serious" MMO character? And can I have your stuff? Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!
Officers' Quarters: Gdivorce
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. To lead a guild effectively, its leaders have to be on the same page. In this week's email, a guild's founding officers have a fundamental disagreement about the direction of the guild. One of them wants out, and she wants to take her half of the guild with her. Hi Scott, here's a little question: A few years ago, my boyfriend and I started our own guild, mainly for the extra storage space and to share profession materials between our characters (we both have plenty of alts). A few months ago, we decided to turn it into a raiding guild, invited a few friends who then in turn invited a few more friends and so on. Then our first disagreement happened.
Drama Mamas: The case of the badgered scapegoat
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. We're still looking for responses from people who have received our advice. If we've answered your letter, please tell us how things worked out. Send it in to robin@wowinsider.com so we can add it to our annual results column. This week's letter comes from a returning player. Hi. After a year long hiatus, I'm coming back to wow on my own, my friends have either stopped, migrated, or are doing Heroic Mode which I can't. So I just joined a random guild as a slightly-undergeared Priest, we're at 11/14 Normal. I'm having issues though. - One is I'm not very good in the meters (usually 20-ish % below the similarly-geared RCham my GM plays), and the RL/GM is constantly on my case about it. No matter that I'm usually not the first healer to die, causing the wipe, or that my tasks are done (don't let Thok's kiter die, solo-heal one side of the Spoils...), the Truth is in the meters. Also, on the rare occasion I die first, I've got to justify myself over vent, on top of my spontaneaous apology. On the numerous occasions the GM does die first (usually twice, she's a shamy), she's quite mum about it.
Officers' Quarters: My roommate is a slacker
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. As a guild leader, it's never easy to tell someone that they aren't pulling their weight. What happens when that person is your roommate? hey Scott. few months back, me and my dad revived our old guild, and it went soo good! within weeks our ranks were swelling with people, having a good time etc then we started raiding, all was well untill we started progressing properly. one of my raiders (Bob for this story) has an itemlvl of ~563 yet doesnt pull his weight as dps (Mage) he tends to slack if he thinks he can get away with it, threatens to get angry etc if people keep complaining about his damage. heres the real issue. this raider is my roommate and longtime friend.
Drama Mamas: The mechanics of handling our drama
A curious reader writes: This isn't actually an advice question, more a curious query. I've noticed some topical overlap between the Drama Mamas column and the Officers' Quarters column on WoW Insider. Do you guys ever punt submissions over the fence to one another? What criteria should people use when deciding which column they should send their request to? Thanks! -- Josh Guild drama is everywhere ... But yes, there is a method to divvying up all the madness! The Drama Mamas have invited along Scott Andrews from Officers' Quarters this week to help explain how and when they share reader letters. We'll also look at ways to increase your chances of getting a letter published, plus what really happens behind the scenes when Robin and Lisa disagree over a particular letter.
Officers' Quarters: The guy who won't run back
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. What kind of monster never runs back after a wipe? This week, a guild leader is pondering his options after one of his raiders fails to grasp the teamwork aspects of raiding. Hi Scott! In June of 2013, I formed a guild with a few close wow friends, all who were part of the guild we were previously in which fell apart. The guild has prospered. We started off as a Flex only guild and have come along way since, currently 13/14N. Nine out of the ten raiders are great apart from one, an officer and one of the original members of the guild. He's a good skilled player but his attitude has left me speechless quite a few times. He has rage quit raids before because we couldn't raid till normal raid time. He has threatened to rage quit raids because he was subbed out to give another raider a chance at loot. He challenges every new tactic we have for a boss. If you don't share his opinion well, ill just say he's headstrong! He never runs back in after wipes either. It got to the stage where I was sick of him but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. He followed me to the new guild and trusted me. I know now that that was stupid to do. I let it go on too long and it has led to some drama.
Drama Mamas: Addiction or no?
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. Have you had your letter answered here on Drama Mamas? If so, please drop us a line at robin@wowinsider.com and let us know how things are going. We'll round up your responses into our annual results column. Let this week's drama commence. I have an issue that's probably not uncommon to some readers of WoW Insider. I play WoW. I adore it, it's the most fun I've ever had with a computer. I live with a person who LIVES WoW. I don't mean that in a glancing-blow type way. That's what she does. She wakes up, goes to her computer, and plays WoW, then goes to sleep when no one else is online. She wakes up in the middle of the night to check guild chat on her phone. Her daughter is failing Math? It can wait, Raid is in an hour. Full raid gear on one character? Time to level another and get that one geared too. Relatives living in the same house want to talk? Hang on, quest turn-in time. You see where I'm going with this.
Officers' Quarters: Helping a tween tank
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. This week's email is from a guild leader in a delicate situation. One of his younger raiders is holding the guild back, but he doesn't want to upset her. Her highly protective father is also a member. Heyo Scott! My problem comes in the form of a raider who's enthusiasm and dedication are impressive, but who's ability are not. I'm Co-GM of a guild that's been together for about a year. In that time, we've gone from only having one or two people on all day to regularly having 10-15 at any given moment. We raid 10-man normal and Flex mode, everyone in the guild who can make it to raids regularly is happy with the situation, and even those who leave for greener raiding pastures always leave behind their alts because they just enjoy the community so much. The problem is that we are slowly bleeding away some of our best raiders due to our lack of progress.
Drama Mamas: Guild friends without benefits
In an era when it's so easy to open a group or raid to a casual acquaintance, what value does guild membership still hold? Are individual contributors vital to building your guild's strength? Can your ship carry the weight of barnacles that don't contribute? I'm the leader of a small casual guild. We do a lot of achievement, transmog, and mount runs, and just old stuff for fun. The only current tier raiding we do is Flex mode. Everyone enjoys it and we do fairly well. Awhile back I read a post on our server forum from someone looking for a Flex group since his guild doesn't do too much of anything. He didn't want to leave his current guild, which was fine with us. He sounded like a cool guy so I invited him to our Flex group. He's been doing well and is a great group member. The issue is this: This guy we picked up on our server forums (and his guildmate friend which also joins us. Both are good group members) has integrated himself to our guild, and Vent server, and a couple of times he was the 8th person in a group for an old raid which we're still lacking in guild achievements. I guess my question is this: Am I wrong for having a problem with these 2 joining our guild runs when they're not guilded? I personally would leave my guild if I had to look elsewhere for the things I enjoy, but that's just me. They have a loyalty to their guild leader for reasons unknown, which is fine, but are we being used here? Am I wrong if I ask these two to either join the guild or work on recruiting for theirs (in a diplomatic way of course!) Guild achievements are a big reason for my issue with these two. Not to mention the communication barrier with people not in our guild chat when someone blurts something out. Opinions? Am I being a total jerk and should just live and let live? LOL Or should I tell this guy to join us or go away? Thanks for any help you can give, and Happy New Year!
Drama Mamas: The case of the drama magnet
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. Every year we round up the previous drama into a results column. If we have answered your question here, please drop us an email at robin@wowinsider.com and tell us how you're doing. On to this week's drama. I've been playing mmo's for years now, I've played all different sorts with all different people. I've played PVE, I've played PVP. I've acted as mentor to new players, and I've taken the role of leader in endgame or guilds. But I made a realization recently- no matter what game I go to, no matter what role I take, I am a drama magnet.
Officers' Quarters: Lessons from a guild split
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. This week's email doesn't have a question for me. It's the story of a guild with clashing raid cultures. It includes some great lessons for officers about the consequences of trying to do too much. In addition to [our progression team] Team Elite ("TE"), my guild ran 2-3 other 10-man teams throughout MOP. The other teams were not as intense due to differing skills and play styles. However some resentment did build. Some players did have the "greener grass" syndrome and wanted to be a part of TE. So when spots opened up, a handful of them ended up moving over to that team. This was the main reason for the resentment. Other raiders saw themselves as "farm system" groups for the "major league" group. For the record, I was on TE for the first tier only. After I moved to other teams, I really gained the perspective of the other raiders, and I started to feel that resentment as well. I saw a huge shift in attitude from the TE players, even the longtime members.
Drama Mamas: Voice communication etiquette for MMO players
Photo: Moe_ Headsets and voice communications have become ubiquitous to group play in MMOs today. Guilds freely share their server addresses with pickup players. PvP groups rely on tight communication to sweep to resounding battleground victories. Even players in random groups often meet up on voice comms to simplify strategy and tactical coordination. Headsets have become quite affordable, and USB connections make it easy to simply plug in and play. Despite all this, speaking up in a channel full of strangers can be one of the more intimidating and awkward experiences in your group play experience. And then there's the other side of the coin: bearing up under the onslaught of That Guy in Vent who's cursing up a blue streak at every turn of the encounter, leaving his mic open so the rest of us can fully experience his barking dog, his blaring television and his half-chewed mouthful of pizza. The Voice Comms Etiquette talk probably wasn't part of your mama's standard coming-of-age advice repertoire, so consider this the heart-to-heart advisory every player should receive upon reaching grouping age. Go forth with awareness and the facts!
Drama Mamas: The case of the evil guild leader
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. What do you do when you realize your GM is not a good person? Dear Drama Mamas, I promise to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the needed details. I am, and for all intents and purposes HAVE been, a member of of a guild of which the GM and I have know each other for a long time. We've gamed together across numerous games as well as several MMOs in our day, developing a guild that has followed us in the same manner as I've followed him. I was young when we began our quest of gaming, but now as I grow older, I'm learning that he is an enormously terrible person.
Officers' Quarters: Humbling Hellscream
Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook. Garrosh Hellscream, son of Grom, Chieftain of the Mag'har, Warchief of the True Horde, is no pushover when you meet him in battle. Nor should he be, as the final boss of Mists of Pandaria. He can break your raid team's spirit faster than he nuked Theramore. One such team is fracturing under the pressure of Garrosh and his freaky Old God souvenirs, and their raid leader is asking for help. Hello Scott! I am currently the raid leader/GM for a startup guild on a high-pop server. I was able to create a guild, form a raid team, and get them 13/14 very quickly on normal. However, I recently lost my partner tank (I tank as a warrior) due to RL issues, and had a DPS rage quit during our Garrosh attempts. I've converted a dps to tank (he has sufficient gear), and am having trouble finding the right comp/team to get Garrosh down. We rarely wipe on the first 13, but we are having trouble on garrosh.
Drama Mamas: Staying guilded to please someone who's never around
Playing WoW to please someone else is always a losing proposition. So what do you do when you figure that out on your own and you're ready to throw yourself a life preserver? So basically I've got myself into a bit of a situation where I'm not happy and I'm not sure I can solve that without making someone else unhappy. Before Mists dropped, I was convinced by a real-world friend and classmate, to transfer to Alleria, because her (absolutely wonderful) horde guild that I am also a part of, had made an Alliance version of the guild and I play primarily Alliance. I paid to transfer my main over (and eventually one of my other favourite characters) and was promptly part of a guild with no one in it. My classmate rarely plays due to real life time constraints, and not a single one of the members of the horde guild actually play the characters they brought into the guild. I've been trucking along, entirely alone for the majority of Mists. When it became clear that I was the most active player, they handed me the title of GM and vanished. I tried recruiting but no one stuck around for long, and I had a few friends join, but they also rarely have the opportunity to play. I've now single-handedly raised the guild to level 19, filled up the guild bank with mats that will never be used, and gotten several guild achievements on my own. That's super satisfying, knowing how hard I worked to bring it where it is today, but if I'm still all alone, what's the point?
Drama Mamas: How to deal with an overzealous guildie
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. One way or another, this week's letter writer is going to give her biggest fan the slip. Dear Drama Mamas, I'm a GM of a casual RP/social guild. As such I do my best to be diplomatic, friendly, and keep things friendly and inviting for my guildies. We've kept it going for years with ups and downs and I'm incredibly proud of how little drama we've had all things considered. I'd hate to be the source of any drama so am considering this a preemptive strike. There is one particular guildie who isn't breaking any rules, is a wonderfully creative RPer, and annoys the everliving crap out of me. It's not his fault, it's a personality thing. He rubs me the wrong way. We're very different people with different senses of humor and priorities etc and so on. And that'd be fine, I'm an adult perfectly capable of getting along and keeping the peace with people I don't necessarily jive with. Except that he is DEAD SET on becoming my BEST FRIEND FOREVER. To the point where my dislike has steadily grown into a total reluctance to log on.
Drama Mamas: Giving up on the team that gives up the farm
Image: Wowhead Having kids in the house keeps it real -- even (especially?) when it comes to PvP. With my 12-year-old daughter and I both plowing through moderate Arathi Basin obsessions, I have to admit that she's got a better handle on the social aspect than I do. How so? I've had to put myself in time out and cool off my knee-jerk reaction to whiny losers. The background: Leveling my most recent lowbie through her 20s and 30s in AB was absolutely, utterly glorious. My teammates were relaxed, and my opponents didn't spend more time emoting /kek or /spit or making strange gestures at me than they did focusing fire on me (yeah, the healer ... ouch). The 40s flashed by, too, albeit with a little more arguing among my teammates over strategy. But once the 50s hit, the losers (in multiple senses of the word) came out in full force. As soon as a single player declared we might be too far behind to pull off a win, half the team would crumple into an orgy of chat despair. Players would stand dead in the graveyards in order to continue textually bemoaning their fate. When your team gives up, what should happen next? Is it time to launch a rallying cry? Decry a lack of sportsmanship? Call out culprits? Ignore the whole thing and let the downward spiral continue?
