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Phat Loot Phriday: Pandaren Brewpack
"Call me Spot," the drunk Gilnean said. "Just call me Spot." The dwarf barkeep started to slide another pint toward the druid but the burly man just waved it off. "No, no," the man said. He gestured to his backpack. A thin tube extended from it, tapering off at the druid's hand. The man stuck the end in his mouth and gave it a good suck. "See? Got my own." "What is that?" the dwarf asked with some small amount of shock. "Pandaren Brewpack," the druid answered. "It's like a camel's back, but with beer. Works great." "Why're you drinking, anyway?" the barkeep asked. "Since I'm exposition-dwarf tonight, you might as well tell me." The Gilnean suddenly let loose a thick sob. "My friends left me! They disappeared in Pandaria and I haven't seen them in months." "So, you thought the logical response would be to go to a bar and drink beer from your backpack?" "I'm just a Spot sad," the Gilnean answered, burying his head in his forearms. Item Note: You get it from Brewfest. And yes, I'm aware I radically misrepresented the way it works, but who hasn't wanted a Camelbak loaded with beer? Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Sap-Encrusted Legplates
"Dear Throgg... dear lord this looks like it was written by a goblin with a broken hand being used as a pen by a drunken ogre." "Uncle Grumpy wrote me?" Throgg peered at the letter. "He did! You should read it to me." Lolegolas stared piercingly at the disconcertingly chipper orc. "I know you can read this." "Reading isn't my thing." "That's fine, writing clearly wasn't your uncle's thing. What language is this even in? Lok'tar thaal'kit sha'suun anariel... is that trollish and goblin in the same sentence?" "Oh, it's in warriorese. Uncle doesn't really remember how to speak anything else. Took too many blows to the head. Just skip down to the bottom, it'll get to the point there." Throgg ignored the ever increasing piercing quality of the stare Lolegolas was leveling on him. "All right then... let's see if I can find anything like words in this thing... Me go to big bear land. Boat sink. Me walk on bottom of water. Lots of bears. Many beers with bears. Go to Yak house, help yak kill bugs. Get pants. Good pants. Me draw picture of pants. You need get good pants. Are you warmly dress in pants? Pants useful. You come here, to bear land, and we drink beers with bears and get pants. Pants covered in tree goo, makes them strong." The blood elf blinked several times. Had he actually said that out loud? Had anyone else heard him say that out loud? "You know what this means!?" "That your uncle is legally dead?" "No, that my friend Stinky. This means we're going on an adventure!" Throgg leapt to his axe cupboard, immediately pulling out various axes and tossing them over his shoulder. "What axe goes best with new pants?" Item Notes: They're tanking pants, they drop in the siege of Niuzao Temple, and they are indeed encrusted with sap. Despite this, they vendor for 24 gold 16 silver 40 copper. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Wind Rider Cub
Soot growled as Lolegolas's Wind Rider Cub took a bite out of the Netherwhelp. The young wind rider pinned the dragonkin to the ground. For all the world, the cub looked like it was smiling. "Look, I'm not trying to be obnoxious," the blood elf said mildly. "But I've been running with this cub for as long as I've existed in this... uh..." "Story!" Miranda shouted helpfully. "Don't say column, it annoys people who follow continuity." "... uh, story," Lolegolas finished. "Did you really think you were going to get in a pet fight with Throgg? I'm a hunter. It's built into my character. Throgg finished smashing Miranda free from her cage, shaking his head in annoyance. "Didn't even get to fight. It's a sad world when an orc can't axe the bad guy." Soot sighed as he sat on the ground. "I guess the Throgg Days of Summer are finally over." "Really?" Miranda asked mildly. "That's how we're leaving this? With a bad pun?" "Back to basics," Throgg said. "That's the new plan. Just the basics. Jokes and isolated stories. Think it'll work?" "It'd take a miracle," Miranda answered. "Hey," Throgg said suddenly. "Has anyone seen my dog?" Item Notes: It's true! Lolegolas's first appearance was with a wind rider cub waaaay back when. Since this is one of the last PLP's before the expansion, I wanted to wrap up this somewhat meandering story with a shout out to the beginnings. Let the pandamonium begin! Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Sen'jin Fetish
The young woman sat in her cage, running her metal cup across the bars. "One, two... Throgg is coming for you." Soot whirled around in the cave, growling at Miranda as he paced. "Shut up. They don't even know how to fight with pets." "Three, four... Lolegolas is at your door," she said. "Five, six... grab your crucifix." "Stop that," Soot snapped. "There's no such thing in Azeroth." "Shows what you know, Mr. I Kidnapped Tertiary Plot-based Characters," Miranda said. "There's a Sen'jin Fetish." "That's not a crucifix at all!," Soot protested. "That's a battle pet." "Nope. I named mine Crucifix because it's a ..." Miranda stopped, cocking her head as if listening to something. "Your time's up. Throgg's axe is here." "I don't care about his axe!" the human snorted, darting toward the door. "I think that's where you're wrong," the woman said quietly. Item Note: So, no jokes this week but we've gotta wrap this up for the expansion. Also, I can't wait to fight every single troll I ever see with the Sen'jin Fetish. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Horde Ballooon
When we last left our heroes, the plot was finally moving forward again, thanks to your narrator's sudden obsession with pet battles. I mean, seriously, have you tried them out yet? OMG, awesome. Lolegolas and Throgg rode from the gym in a cloud of dust and machismo. Like a pair of gods carved from solid stone, their rippling muscles and perfect definition would be the envy of any underwear model. Would be. The effect was ruined by a dainty red balloon drifting behind Throgg. "I'm not clear on how the balloon is going to defeat our enemy," Lolegolas said. "Won't. Balloon can't fight," Throgg growled. "Tired of pets. I want to hit him with my axe." "That's a shame when you think about it. Orgrimmar's Fighting Balloons would be a hell of a team. It would certainly be better than Osh-Kosh Garrosh." Throgg spared the blood elf a dry look. "Balloon doesn't fight. This is just for show. I'm going to hit the bad guy with my axe and rescue Miranda." "Imagine if the balloon could cast spells," Lolegolas said. "Heal-ium, for example." "Do you mind?" Throgg asked. "Trying to look imposing here." Item note: Horde Balloon doesn't fight. Which, c'mon, Blizzard -- that'd be awesome! Fighting balloons. And since the Horde and Alliance can each get their balloons in a simple quest, that would be amazing. Am I the only one who thinks fighting balloons are awesome? Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Rabbit
Throgg leaned back against the pet gymnasium wall, chewing on a piece of straw while he watched Lolegolas. For his part, the blood elf did not look amused. "What will you be fighting with today?" the old man asked Lolegolas. The gym trainer had long, flowing white hair and a slightly stoned look. Lolegolas had ultimately decided it was best not to ask about what the trainer used in his pipe. "A fierce creature from the very depths of Stormwind," Lolegolas said. "A Rabbit." The old man blinked. "It has very pointy teeth, man," Lolegolas said. "It's mean." "If you are going to rescue your friend Miranda," the trainer answered, "you will need to skillfully command your ... rabbit." "Bun Morogh, I summon you!" Lolegolas shouted. The bunny appeared on the floor, twitching its nose disdainfully. "Really?" the old man finally asked. "A bunny?" "It's fierce if you rile it," Lolegolas commented weakly. Pet notes: Seriously, man. Between Burrow, Adrenaline Rush, and Stampede, the Rabbit's got moves like Jagger. Give it a try before you scoff at the fuzzy herald of doom. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Pet Bombling
Throgg growled at the human. "Where is the girl, human? Where is she?" "Ha!" the soldier cackled, throwing his cape back over his shoulder. "I am Soot Dartsum of the Imperial Navy! I will not be cowed by the likes of an ogre." "Orc," Lolegolas quietly pointed out. "Throgg's an orc. You can tell by the green skin. It's a dead giveaway." "Quiet, fool!" the man said. He reached into his bag and hurled a large, black ball on the ground. "Throgg, get down!" Lolegolas yelled. "It's a bomb!" The human veritably clapped his hands with glee when the bomb grew a pair of legs. "No! It's my Pet Bombling, and it will lay waste on your foolish team." The aforementioned orc cocked his head slightly to the side. "I'm sorry. Can you run that by me again?" "That's how we fight here," Soot explained. "With pets. It's much more civilized than bashing on one another with axes." "Oh," Throgg muttered. "I kind of like hitting people with axes. It's kind of my thing." "So, you don't know how to fight wit pets?" the man asked. "That's going to be awkward. Look, there's a school right down the hill. Why don't you trot down and get a quick lesson? I'll wait here." Item note: Pet Bombling can be picked up at the auction house fairly easily. It's a mechanical type pet. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Amber Flammard of Klaxxi'vess
"You're joking," Lolegolas insisted. "There's no such thing as a flammard." Throgg waved the Amber Flammard of Klaxxi'vess around in the air, making vague buzzing sounds as he did so. "Is, too! It's a noble weapon! The weapon of an orc!" "Flammard? Really? A flammard's a thing?" "It's a flame-based sword, that's all," Throgg insisted. "So this bursts into flame? Doesn't that seem more like a Firelands thing than a panda thing?" "Not literally flames," Throgg replied. "Just, like, wavy. This one's a reputation reward from the Klaxxi." "So, it's not just a clever name. I guess it's looks curved and wavy. Kind of," the blood elf acknowledged. "It's totally curved. I haven't seen curves like this since your m..." "Shut up!" Lolegolas quickly yelled. "Dorothy Goldenhair was a saint!" Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Reins of the Crimson Pandaren Phoenix
Lolegolas jumped at the squawking that suddenly erupted behind him. It sounded like someone strangling a moonkin. "What the heck?" the blood elf asked. "This is my new phoenix," Throgg said, straddling an immense bird. "It's a Crimson Pandaren Phoenix." "That doesn't look like a pandaren," Lolegolas countered. "In fact, I don't think there's anything terribly panda-like about it." "It's just a name, little elf," the orc said. "Like hot dogs. There's nothing dog-like about hot dogs." "Maybe it's just named that," Lolegolas said, "since, like, it's pandaren-raised or something. Still, that's a darn fine-looking mount." "It's already killed a cyclops and a wolverine, too," Throgg said. "It was pretty amazing to watch." Lolegolas cocked his head to the side and peered at the orc out of the corner of his eye. "Really? That's where we're going with this?" "Well, it's supposed to be all crimson and red, but instead it's black and evil-looking. Seemed appropriate." Lolegolas nodded. "Fair enough, then." Item note: It's been a Challenge Mode reward, and now it seems like everyone on the beta has it. While the details of the mount could obviously change, it sure looks snazzy! Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Lucky Quilen Cub
Wandering through the isles of Pandaria, Throgg and Lolegolas are making a slow but inevitable trip toward Miranda. But for now, we'll enjoy some shock, awww, and general fun with their journey. The druid jogged down the hill to catch up with the dyanamic duo. He stopped short when he saw the diminutive creature walking beside them. It looked like a pug or maybe a chihuahua, except for the rich mane around its head. "Wait. What is that ... thing?" the worgen asked. "Collector's Edition pet," Lolegolas said nonchalantly. "Isn't it fabulous? I love it." "Since you disappeared, Spot, we needed a new puppy," Throgg answered. "This guy seemed apt. It's a quilen pup." "It needs a shave," the druid said. "It's got a fierce neckbeard going on. A few more days of growth, and it'll be ready for Reddit." "What's Reddit?" Throgg asked. "It's a place that really loves beards," the druid answered. "I think the dwarves invented it." Somewhere in the distance, trapped within her cage, Miranda shrieked something about a fourth wall. That was just fine, since the boy would have ignored her anyway. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Helm of the Fire Festival
When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just arrived in the pandaren training grounds. Throgg finally answered the question about his unique patois habits, which leads to the inevitable lunch episode. "I'm hungry," Throgg complained. "I brought fish, though. You want fish?" "I could go for a carp about now," Lolegolas replied. "Don't see any wood for a fire, though." "Don't worry. I got this." Throgg opened his bag and pulled out a strange hat. It looked almost exactly like a saucepan. Without fanfare, he placed the contraption on his head and knelt to the ground. The hat burst into flame. "You can cook on my head." "Care to repeat what you just said? 'You can cook on my head.' You realize that sounds somewhat crazy, even from you." "It's a great invention. No more campfires -- we can just cook on each other's heads." Lolegolas nodded in slow motion, the same way a warrior might look if a priest were trying to knife him to death. "You sure you want to try this?" "Let's try it once and see how it pans out." Item note: No, really, you can cook on it. We have more information about it here. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phiday: Flippable Table
When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just crossed the barrier between worlds to join the beta. We now resume with their quest to hunt down Miranda. Not Spot has not been seen for some time. "This doesn't look right," Lolegolas said. He stood atop a hill, looking down at small groups of pandaren practicing their martial arts. "I think we missed our target a bit. We'll have to hoof it." "Throgg angry still," the orc companion said. Lolegolas sighed and opened his immense bag. He took out a table and unfolded an immaculate sheet to lay atop it. He placed a mug in the center before stepping back to get a better look at his work. He stroked his chin with a thumb while he regarded the table. "One moment," Lolegolas commented. He bent over and plucked a red wildflower from the ground before resting it in the mug. "OK. Go ahead. Flip it." Throgg took a deep breath, grasped the edge of the table, and hurled. The table flipped end over end, crashing down on the ground below them. "Wow," Throgg said. "You're right. I feel so much better now. As if a weight has been lifted." "Who knows his buddy? Who knows his orcky-poo? Now that we've dispensed with that table-flipping formality, let's move on, shall we?" Item notes: We don't know the details about the Flippable Table, but it sure does sound exciting. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Very Manly Leggings
When last we left our heroes, they began a journey to rescue Miranda. Packing their trusty Impa-- I mean, motorbike, they took off to break through the barrier between world. There are lots of spoilers here. The crab wasn't playing fair. As the gatekeeper between worlds, the crab guarded the beach into the underworld, the dark mirror of Azeroth where all things were possible. Lolegolas was getting annoyed. "Fine, then," the crab finally conceded. "I will let you pass through the murky depths into the underworld, where all things are tested, if you can succeed in one final challenge." Lolegolas snorted. "We are ready! Present your test, my fine seafood." The crab gestured with a shockingly well-manicured claw. From under the waters, a massive figure strolled toward the group. Lolegolas gasped at the size of the man. He was so muscled that even his biceps seemed to have biceps of his own. "A wrestling match," the crab quipped. "It's a lot like being on the forums." "Dunno if I can win this," Throgg said. "I'm not really feeling anger right now so much as ... vague disapproval." "We'll just have to get you angry," the blood elf said. "Not sure we can do that," the orc replied. "I'm mostly worried about Miranda." "Firefly was cancelled to make room for Glen Beck!" Throgg snarled a bit.
Phat Loot Phriday: Simple Hand Crossbow
When last we left our heroes, they'd hopped in a motorcycle to ride into the sunset -- and take a boat to Pandaria. However, they lack a map and live in a microcosm that represents the overall Blizzard community, so they cannot simply walk into Pandaria. Also, click click click click click click click click ... "I didn't think Panda-land would be so dark," Throgg commented. His eyes narrowed beneath the ridged line of his immense brow. "I don't mean young person and black jeans dark. I mean like actually hard to see. Did we take the wrong boat?" The pair walked along a curved, narrow path. Oddly, each side of the path was closed off with walls and vines. They couldn't travel far from the walkway. "Still can't get the bike started. We're hoofing it." Throgg pursed his lips as he look around. Suddenly, he unlatched the enormous battle-axe from his back and shouted. "To arms! Undead ahead, and they're attacking!" Lolegolas let loose a battle cry and reached for his bow. With a practiced growl, he grasped where it should have been and pulled out a Simple Hand Crossbow. The blood elf pulled up short immediately. "Wait, what in Metzen's name is this?" The orc cocked his head to the side. "They make crossbows that small? When did you get that?" "Is it just me, or do those undead look funny?" Lolegolas said. "We're not in Pandaria," Throgg said. "We really need to go back the way we came." Lolegolas sighed as he turned around, ignoring the undead behind them. "This is great. We're losing an entire week to this nonsense." Throgg blinked as they returned to the boat. "Uh. Where's Spot?" Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Mechano-Hog
As we now transition to a new chapter of the story, the narrator will take a moment and indulge in literary thievery -- I mean, literary homage. Well, not really literary, since I'm stealing from a different medium, but I've always liked the idea -- and shut up and read it already, OK? In patch 3.0.1, Blizzard added a new vehicle to Azeroth. While millions of mounts already existed in the game, this new mount was something special. It was a hog. A motorcycle. No sooner had the Mechano-Hog become a reality in the game than thousands of engineers started building them. No individual Mechano-Hog was that big a deal, really. Except for one. This Mechano-Hog was built by a warlock engineer named Demonalisa. Struggling to make money on a roleplay server, Demonalisa spent most of his time farming materials. That plan worked fairly well for him until he ran afoul of the gem market. The Great Gem Crash of 2010 cost Demonalisa his savings, and he was forced to sell off the Mechano-Hog. In late 2010, the Mechano-Hog was purchased for Lolegolas by a stalwart orc named Throgg. Throgg felt the two-seater Mechano-Hog would be a great benefit to them in the Battlegrounds. After all, two coordinated fighters doing battle together can very easily turn the tide of victory. It turned out Lolegolas just liked making "vroom" sounds while doing laps of Dalaran. This Mechano-Hog had the same basic abilities of all the others, but none of that is what's important. What's important are the details like the chewing gum Throgg used to glue the license plate down. Or the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" bumper sticker Lolegolas ironically slapped across a fender. Or the extra growler racks Throgg installed to prepare for their trip to Pandaria. As Lolegolas started the engine and Throgg plopped into the passenger car, neither of them could know how important that Mechano-Hog would be. Item notes The Mechano-Hog and Mekgineer's Chopper are both still in the game and clearly the most popular ground mounts available by 56%. Source: I made that number up. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Warrior Tier 14: The Bladinating
When last we left our heroes, they were discussing the finer points of beer and tea in an experimental post that didn't really work out well. Taking feedback (and several donkey punches to the gut from his editor) seriously, the narrator returns to the ongoing action -- which is to say, getting the dynamically delicious duo toward Pandaria. Just now, they're getting dressed, because this is Lolegolas we're talking about here. "Stop me if you've heard this one before," Lolegolas said. "What in the name of Metzen's meticulously groomed beard are you wearing?" Throgg froze in place, paused in the motion of removing his shoulder armor from its plastic hanger. (Lolegolas can't abide wire hangers.) "Uh. Armor? Like you wear in battle?" "That thing looks like it's from the Gillette school of gearing," the blood elf said. "When in doubt, add more blades." "It's awkward when I have to scratch," Throgg agreed. "Good for stopping people from ... punching me ... in the shoulder. I guess?" Lolegolas grunted noncommittally. "What's it called?" "Tier 14." "That's it? Tier 14? That's the name that's meant to strike fear into the souls of beer demons?" "You're being impatient," Throgg commented. "It has a name; I just don't know it yet. So I like to call it Mach 8. Because it has eight blades." "We're really stuck on the razor analogy here, aren't we?" Lolegolas said. "We've had enough close shaves already," Throgg replied. "Time to be a little more careful." Item Note: This preview of Warrior tier 14 brought to us by those ingenious folks over at Wowhead. It's good to be back to the mo'-blades, mo'-betta school of gearing. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Mad Brewer's Breakfast
When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just walked into a bar. While that's a classic setup for a joke, the dazzling duo are in a more laconic mood. Throgg drummed his fingers on the table top. "No clue what to expect in Pandaria. Never been Jack Black fan." "They say it has nothing to do with that guy," Lolegolas side, knocking back a drink. "It's full of rich culture and not a single tenacious reference." "Tea will be nice change of pace," Throgg muttered. "I like green tea. Black tea makes me jittery." "You get jittery?" "Yes, orc get jittery." Throgg grunted. "Why're we lingering here, anyway? Where sense of urgency?" "Something's broken," the blood elf sighed. "Waiting for fix so we can make reference, then we hop off to giant turtle." Throgg grunted eloquently is agreement. "I will shoulder burden of drinking until then, like noble Horde member I am." "They call that breakfast in Pandaria," Lolegolas commented. "It's like liquid bread." "I know," Throgg said. "Can't wait. Carb up, fight lots of bad guys, and save the girl." Item note: No, really, Mad Brewer's Breakfast. You gotta love it. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Spring Circlet!
"By Pond's swiftly approaching expiration date!" Lolegolas gasped. "What are you wearing?" Throgg blinked mildly at his friend. "Rabbit ears. I ... thought that was obvious. I mean, they're bunny ears. They're not for reception." Lolegolas licked his lips and nodded slowly. "Noblegarden, huh?" "It's a Spring Circlet! I'm sexy and I know it," Throgg replied. He clapped his hand together and spun in place. "Wigg ... " "Stop!" the Gilnean shouted, holding out a hand desperately. "This is a public street. Families. Children. Why don't you two go catch a drink?" Lolegolas scowled at the druid for a moment, and then nodded at a nearby tavern. A troll and orc had just slipped inside. That's all the testament to the tavern's quality that the hunter needed. "Sounds like a good plan. Druid, you wear the ears." "Ooh, beer," Throgg said. "This male needs an ale!" Item note: You get the Spring Circlet from eggs. New to Noblegarden? We've got all the information you need for the holiday. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Chen's Empty Keg
When last we left our heroes, Chromie aborted their research in Outland by sending them off to somewhere misty and panda-filled. Miranda was kidnapped, no doubt allowing her to serve as MacGuffin and also forcing her to stop giving away narrator secrets. I'm just saying. "We need stop at bank along way," Throgg said. The Gilnean peered at Throgg quizzically. "We're going to the land of beer!" Lolegolas exclaimed. "Throgg and I both have Chen's Empty Keg stashed in the bank. Great chance to fill them." "I get that," the Gilnean said. "No, actually, I don't -- but whatever. Sometimes Throgg is all 'Rawr, orc smash,' and other times he speaks perfectly normally. What's with that?" "Sometimes wear gear to make me feel smart," Throgg said. "It's roll play or something." "Roleplay," Lolegolas expounded. "Like, taking on the role of something you're not." "So, you two ... roleplay together," the Gilnean said slowly. "And the good speech is roleplay." "Uh, sometimes," Lolegolas answered. "Look, Throgg and I have been partners in war for a long, long time. We have our own jokes. Just go with it." "All right," the Gilnean said. "So, beer kegs." "Not just beer kegs," Throgg said. "Panda beer kegs. From Chen. That's so huge, you don't even know." Item notes: The remnants of a pre-Cataclysm quest, Chen's Empty Kegs are not currently to be found on Azeroth. You once collected kegs. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Worn Wristwraps
When last we left our heroes, they were idly poking around the Outland. They weren't entirely sure what to do with themselves, desperately in need of something new to get them moving. Nominally, they were tracking down leads on who might have infiltrated the Forsaken. Sounds like it's time for a plot bomb, right? The four slept under the stars of Outland. Unlike Azeroth's tranquil night sky, the heavens of Hellfire Peninsula glittered beneath an oily stream of ether and energy. It was minutely disturbing to Lolegolas, who muttered about sleeping in shifts and random encounters. Miranda screamed first, a thick leather cord coiled around her neck. The succubus at the other end hauled back on the whip, dragging the girl from her sleeping bag. The Gilnean hit the demon not as a human, sliding effortlessly into the shape of an immense bear. A leg like a log struck the succubus in the chest, sending her hurling head over heels backward into the night. Then the druid took a wide stance and roared. His thick fur bristled, and the single line of his hackles rose like a mohawk down the middle of his back. Throgg bounded from his bedroll, already whirling his immense axe almost like a baton. Its angry blade bit into an imp just a few moments before Lolegolas arrows began flying through the air with a sound like angry bees. Succubus and imps fell quickly to the assault.
