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Drama Mamas: How to leave your guild without drama or burning bridges
A poorly executed /guildquit is the kind of toxic drama bomb that can poison your online game experience forever. Even if you're fleeing drama, guild chaos, or interpersonal strife, wrecking shop on the way out the door does more harm than good. You may never want to play with or hear from those people again -- but chances are, you'll cross paths at some point in a group, another guild, a chat channel, or a forum. Is moving on the right thing to do? Every situation is different, but if you find yourself even considering whether or not the grass might be greener in another pasture, it's time to take a good, hard look at what you want from your WoW play versus what you're actually getting. "This is your leisure time," notes Drama Mama Robin. "If your stress-relieving activity is doing the opposite, you need to make a change." And if you're sticking around based on trying to change someone else's behavior or hoping it changes on its own, she notes, you're wasting your own time. The only person you can control is yourself. Leaving a guild is not the right solution if: You're doing it to teach someone a lesson or to make things difficult for someone in the guild. Smarter solution: Realize that you're not the arbiter of other people's behavior, and move on. You're doing it to direct attention to yourself or your views. Smarter solution: Get involved in guild life and business through normal channels. You don't actually want to leave. Don't be one of those drama llamas who /guildquit at every perceived slight and then expect to be welcomed back to the fold with warmth and open arms. Don't leave a guild if what you're really hoping is to elicit someone to beg you to come back. Leaving a guild is about moving on to something new. If you need to move on, move on. Smarter solution: Resolve your personal or guild issues through normal channels.
Drama Mamas: 20 signs it's time to leave your guild
Many of the letters the Drama Mamas receive are from players who don't actually have a problem they need or want to solve; they're simply seeking support and permission to move on. Boy, is it tough to let go! People naturally feel trepidation about leaving a known environment, even when it's the very thing making them unhappy. We cling to the familiar, losing sight of the fact that if we change nothing, nothing changes. Sometimes, though, the best thing to do is to calmly pick up, dust off, and move on. While the columns we've linked below don't necessarily represent times the Drama Mamas thought moving on was the best or only solution, they do illustrate the tangle of denial many players find themselves in over circumstances that are right there in black and white. You know it's time to move on when ... Your guild condones or even promotes public drama. Your guild has no firm rules. You're expending emotional energy to tolerate an atmosphere that doesn't fit what you want from a guild. You've made it a rule to refuse to group or speak with a guildmate who plays with you frequently. You don't actually play with the people in your guild -- and you're lonely.
Breakfast Topic: Share your ragequit moments
This Breakfast Topic has been brought to you by Seed, the Aol guest writer program that brings your words to WoW Insider's pages. Online gaming allows people the anonymity to be jerks if they want to and not face many actual consequences, whether it is trolling, ninjaing a piece of loot, rage-quitting a group because of a single wipe, or getting into a shouting match over Vent. Sometimes we carry real-life events in game with us. We have a bad day at work or break up with a girlfriend or worse, and we are unable to suffer noobs lightly. Sometimes we're rude, telling the guy doing terrible DPS he is bad and removing him from the group, as opposed to trying to help him; sometimes it is far worse. Back in The Burning Crusade, I was in a raiding guild I particularly liked. Good progression, mostly decent people, raid times that fit my schedule well at the time -- I thought all was good. However, there was on officer who I just did not get along with. So one Saturday, she was forming a ZG raid and asked me if I wanted to go. I said no, I was dealing with something in real life and was about to log. I didn't go into details, but we had a death in the family, and I just wasn't able to really concentrate on tanking at the time. I logged off. So a couple of hours later, I logged back on an alt and noticed they were still in ZG, so I asked what's up and how many chests they got. The officer went on a rant, just berating me endlessly, taking out their bad raid on me. I gquit on the spot -- all of my characters. Other officers talked to me later and asked me what happened, and I told them ... but I just could not go back after that. While I am currently in a guild that suits me better, I still wish I had left the previous guild on better terms. So have you done anything in a fit of rage you truly regret, something you actually felt guilty about afterwards?
Drama Mamas: It's time to leave now
The Drama Mamas are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. How to handle that sticky situation? Ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas@wow.com. It's time to leave now. You know it. We know it. Your guildmates probably know it, too. But you just can't bring yourself to open that door. Leaving a guild is so uncomfortable, so guilt-inducing, so potentially dramatastic, so ... awkward. Is it any wonder that the best way to leave (disguised as "whether" to leave) a guild is one of the most popular questions to hit the Drama Mamas mailbox every week? Dear Drama Mamas: I have recently decided that it may be time for me to make a change from one guild to another; however, because I am an officer in my current guild, I feel rather guilty in doing so at this time. The raid times have become enough of an issue that they became a noticeable problem in real life, and I recently informed my guild that I would no longer be raiding with them. This past weekend, I ran into a former co-worker of mine who happen to be on the same server. One of them informed me that their guild is looking for my class, and their raid times coincide almost perfectly with my preferred playing times. Their guild is a bit more progressed than my current guild, which is rather appealing, as is the prospect of getting together with some real life-friends, but I feel like if I join their guild, I am bailing on my current guild. Do you have any suggestions on how to break the news to my current guild (or officers) that I am thinking about applying to another guild, or any suggestions on how to make a transition go smoothly? Thanks, Anonymous
