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iPhone takes on Android in a sci-fi battle to the death
The battle over whether iPhone or Android is better will never end, if only because Android users will never admit that they're absolutely wrong. Normally the conflict is merely verbal, but thanks to this entry from a video contest hosted by mobile game controller make MOGA this argument has gotten much more interesting. Witness the weaknesses, strengths, and cheat codes (e.g. jailbreaking) of each device in their glorious low budget special effects majesty. It says "too be continued" but we know the truth about who is actually best. Whichever one the viewer currently has in their pockets.
Perfect Ten: New MMOs to watch in 2015
As I've done for 2013 and 2014, I'm going to use the turn of the year as an excuse to look ahead at what MMO releases we may have to look forward to enjoying in the next 12 months. As always, it's a mixture of research, guesswork, and weeks of anguished ranking to come up with 10 titles that I think will define the new year. After the huge launch year we had in 2014, 2015 will most definitely be a smaller year for big-name releases. That doesn't mean it will be a complete write-off, but perhaps it will challenge us to look beyond the heavy hitters to find more diamonds in the rough. A couple of notes before we launch into the list, if you please! First of all, I limited this list to MMOs that at least have a shot of launching in 2015; games that are popular but are definitely not going to make it this year had to be excluded. Second, I am expanding the "honorable mentions" section this year to include more upcoming MMOs and my brief thoughts on them. So you are really getting 50 games for the effort of reading 10! You are welcome.
Ask Massively: The one where we talk about our 2014 awards
Massively's 2014 awards series is over, but we like to go back and take a look at the reader polls and some of the big questions and neat comments that arose during the course of our rollout because many of our awards were contentious, as they are every year. It'd be no fun if they weren't, I suppose. Allow us to pontificate, and in the course of the review, we'll try to answer some frequently asked questions as well.
Adorable family convinces Grandma a chocolate phone is an iPhone
Nothing says Christmas like pulling adorable pranks on your loved ones. One intrepid YouTube user took the holiday season as a chance to convince his grandmother than she'd just been given a brand new iPhone. There's just one catch; Grandma isn't interested in one of these fancy new devices. Her luddite monolog while she unwraps the iPhone box is worth the time you'll take watching the video, but the look on her face when the family tells her to bite into her new phone is simply glorious. Don't worry Grandma. It's only chocolate. Enjoy.
This Majora's Mask-inspired Christmas carol is smashing
Yeah, so you played - or are at least familiar with the premise of - The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask and saw where this was going. The video is still smile-worthy! And hey, maybe you can make your own Majora music video when Majora's Mask 3D comes to 3DS in spring 2015. [Image: Nintendo]
This man's jeans show the scars of multiple phone upgrades
It wasn't until the advent of Bendgate that iOS users in mass started to question of how the iPhone interacts with tight pants. While normally this question is asked to take into consideration the damage that might be done to the phone, but what about your pants? That question has been answered by Reddit user freezer mink, who recently shared this stunning photo of the scars his jeans have developed from multiple iPhone upgrades. Take a moment to consider the sacrifices your pants have made for you to be on the cutting edge of technology. They have served us well. Thanks to freezermink for granting permission to share this photo.
This is why you should clean under your iPhone case every now and then
Today's lesson in iPhone hygiene comes from Reddit user Flippy1 who took this lovely/horrifying image of a friend's recently uncased iPhone. While we understand that you may never want to take off your case for fear of damaging your precious device, sometimes you've got to take the risk. Otherwise, your iPhone will end of looking like a prop from Mad Max. When you do clean your iPhone, remember to do it right. Here's what Apple recommends: Use only a soft, lint-free cloth. Abrasive cloths, towels, paper towels, and similar items may cause damage to the item. Disconnect your Apple product from any external power sources. Disconnect any external devices and other cabling from the product. Keep liquids away from the product. Don't get moisture into any openings, and don't use aerosol sprays, solvents, or abrasives. Do not spray cleaners directly onto the item. Go send Flippy1 some Reddit Gold for giving us permission to share this photo.
Joystiq appreciates a good pun
The team here at Joystiq enjoys a good pun – though it's unclear sometimes if everyone else appreciates them quite as much as we do. Still, video games aren't beyond playing with words either and 2014 was a good year for particularly punny games. As we wind down 2014, Team Joystiq takes a look at some of our favorite wordplay moments in games for the year. It may be a low form of humor, but that doesn't mean it can't make us chuckle. >>A Good Year for Puns in Games<<
No Comment: CBS iPad app just needs you to sign right here
Really, CBS app? We understand the pride that comes with being "America's Most Watched Network," but one set of terms and conditions is plenty for most network applications that let you watch full episodes -- two at the most. Not for you! Four separate user agreements that nobody will bother to read? That level of attention to detail and user experience merits this weekend's No Comment.
Perfect Ten: Looking back at the biggest MMO news of 2014
Well, my chums, here we are at the tail-end of 2014, having achieved all of our goals and new year's resolutions. Even better, we've survived what's turned out to be one of the wildest, rockiest, and most exciting years of MMO news in recent memory. This was the year of high-profile game launches, even more popular expansions, layoffs, and some epic-level studio face-palming decisions. It's easy to sit here and say that we predicted everything that was going to happen this year, but c'mon, you have to admit that you were surprised by at least one or two events in this industry. It's incredibly difficult to sum up the biggest news of the year without coming to grips with the fact that many stories aren't one-and-done; a lot of what I'm going to be talking about in this list happened over the course of weeks or months and still may not be fully over. That's how news stories are sometimes!
Ask Massively: Scoring last year's MMO predictions
One of my favorite things to do every year is go back to the previous year's staff predictions. What did we think 2014 was going to look like in the MMO world back at the end of 2013? How wrong were we, and where did we hit eerily close to the mark? I won't include everything, just some of the more prophetic and ridiculous ideas our current staff offered a year ago. Feel free to share your own fulfilled prophecies down in the comments.
The iPhone 6 is causing a slapping epidemic
Way back when the iPhone 5s launched -- along with its 120fps slow-mo video capabilities -- it spawned a whole bunch of YouTube videos showing guys and gals slapping each other just to watch it back in slow motion. Now the iPhone 6 and its even-slower-slow-mo feature is giving slap-happy friends a reason to assault each other once again. Behold: More people willing to be hit in the name of iPhone science.
English politician caught playing Candy Crush for two hours during government meeting
Candy Crush Saga is addictive, so addictive in fact that it can keep lawmakers from doing the job taxpayers pay them to do. According to The Sun, MP Nigel Mills was rocking a long Candy Crush play session during a meeting regarding pensions and insurance -- in which he asked a few pre-written questions and then played the game on his taxpayer-funded iPad for as long as two and a half hours. A video of Mills tapping away on his tablet was provided to The Sun by an unnamed individual sitting in on the meeting. Now, rather than investigating whether or not a lawmaker should be playing games while "working," an investigation is in motion to track down the person who actually caught the act on film, as doing so is a breach of protocol. To be fair, everyone should have probably seen this coming. After all, the slogan Nigel Mills has front and center of his website is "Your priorities are my priorities," and given the absurd success of Candy Crush Saga, it is definitely a priority for much of the world. Mills has since apologized for his lack of attentiveness during the meeting, following his earlier claim that he was "fully engaged" in the session. Twitter, as you might imagine, is still having a good bit of fun with it: Fair to say that Nigel Mills is on the naughty list this year. He'll have to make do with Candy Crush on Christmas day. - Project.Elf (@_ProjectElf_) December 8, 2014 I suspect Nigel Mills doesn't play Candy Crush while doing his expenses. - Colin Williams (@colincwilliams) December 8, 2014 Nigel Mills promises never to play Candy Crush again at work. Ski Safari is much better, and feels a bit more seasonal. - Malcolm Robertson (@mrobertson_1) December 8, 2014 [Photo via Nigel Mills MP]
Perfect Ten: Mobile apps to enhance your MMO lifestyle
We're living in the age of smart phones, when there are more cell phones than there are people on this planet. I can't go anywhere without seeing people constantly whipping out their little rectangular companions for the constant stream of information, social connection, and Candy Crush interludes. While MMOs aren't making great headway on these devices, in part due to the limited input scheme, several wise studios have made good use of the mobile market to give players a way to keep in touch with their games even while AFK. Today we're going to count down, count up, and count sideways 10 official mobile apps that will enhance your MMO lifestyle.
Ask Massively: Ridiculing e-sports is bad for MMOs
I don't love e-sports. I've never really been a fan. I used to enjoy spectating Guild Wars matches, but only in short bursts. Truth is, I prefer playing in PvP to watching it. I feel that way about real sports too; the ones I like, I'd rather play than watch. (Except tennis. I have no idea why, but I could watch that all day.) And if the MMORPG community's comments are any judge, I am not alone in my indifference to e-sports. Actually, "indifference" is probably too tame a word; some MMO gamers are outright hostile to e-sports, be those e-sports jammed into proper MMORPGs or waaaaay out on the fringes of the online gamosphere. That hostile ridicule of e-sports, however, degrades online gaming, our corner of it as much as anyone's.
This $5,000 iPhone 6 belongs on your wish list
Want to really make a statement at this year's family holiday gathering? Unwrapping this absurdly opulent iPhone 6 would certainly elicit gasps -- and maybe a few gags -- from all corners of the room. It's called the Luxury Gold iPhone 6 Swarovski Brilliance Elite, and its price tag is even more ostentatious than its overly lengthy name. It's covered in Swarovski crystals and platinum (yellow and rose gold are also available), comes in a "luxury cherry oak finish box," and doesn't include a SIM card. Oh, and it costs upwards of $5,200 for the 128GB edition. No word on whether or not this version is "bendable" or not, but I don't feel like being the one to test it out.
No CNN, the iPhone 6 is not better than a professional TV camera
CNN is committed to asking the hard hitting, need to know, questions that haunt everyone. The big questions, like is the iPhone 6 camera as powerful as CNN's multi-thousand dollar professional TV camera? The answer will probably not surprise you, given one sells for a few hundred dollars and the other is a professional-grade piece of equipment used by a powerful news agency. Still the video does feature a handful of helpful tips at the end for your own personal cell phone shots. While we're incredibly confused by CNN's choice to ask this question, we're amused by this video. Thanks to The Loop for initially catching it. Enjoy.
Here's why 'Too Many Cooks' is tailor-made for the internet
By now, there's a good chance that you've seen or heard about Adult Swim's Too Many Cooks -- an epic, warped internet video that sends up the overly tidy world of '80s and '90s sitcoms. But just why did this video manage to click with so many people? If you ask PBS, it's because the 11-minute clip speaks directly to the heart of online culture. The internet is fond of absurdist humor that highlights the apparently meaningless, repetitive nature of life, PBS argues; Too Many Cooks plays on that love of the ludicrous by dismantling a formulaic, "perfect" TV universe where everything has meaning.
Video: If Pac-Man for the Atari 2600 was released today
We've seen variations on this sort of thing before, but this mocked-up glimpse at our industry's terrifying future is more plausible than most. Something Awful founder Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka proposes what Pac-Man for the Atari 2600 might play like if it was released today in the video above. The slick pay-to-play hooks clash fantastically with Pac-Man's terrible audiovisual presentation on the 2600, and some of the features parodied here are already an unfortunate reality in modern games. Maybe it's for the best if this one stays buried in a New Mexico landfill. [Video: Rich Kyanka]
Prank your friends with a Camera RickRoll
Rickrolling is almost as old as the world wide web itself, but filling someone's iOS Camera Roll with photos of the beloved Rick Astley is something I've never seen done before. This new take on the rickroll requires you to gain access to your friend's device, which might be a bit tricky, but the eventual payoff will definitely be worth it. [Photo via Brownpau]
