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Drama Mamas: How to leave your guild without drama or burning bridges
A poorly executed /guildquit is the kind of toxic drama bomb that can poison your online game experience forever. Even if you're fleeing drama, guild chaos, or interpersonal strife, wrecking shop on the way out the door does more harm than good. You may never want to play with or hear from those people again -- but chances are, you'll cross paths at some point in a group, another guild, a chat channel, or a forum. Is moving on the right thing to do? Every situation is different, but if you find yourself even considering whether or not the grass might be greener in another pasture, it's time to take a good, hard look at what you want from your WoW play versus what you're actually getting. "This is your leisure time," notes Drama Mama Robin. "If your stress-relieving activity is doing the opposite, you need to make a change." And if you're sticking around based on trying to change someone else's behavior or hoping it changes on its own, she notes, you're wasting your own time. The only person you can control is yourself. Leaving a guild is not the right solution if: You're doing it to teach someone a lesson or to make things difficult for someone in the guild. Smarter solution: Realize that you're not the arbiter of other people's behavior, and move on. You're doing it to direct attention to yourself or your views. Smarter solution: Get involved in guild life and business through normal channels. You don't actually want to leave. Don't be one of those drama llamas who /guildquit at every perceived slight and then expect to be welcomed back to the fold with warmth and open arms. Don't leave a guild if what you're really hoping is to elicit someone to beg you to come back. Leaving a guild is about moving on to something new. If you need to move on, move on. Smarter solution: Resolve your personal or guild issues through normal channels.
Drama Mamas: 20 signs it's time to leave your guild
Many of the letters the Drama Mamas receive are from players who don't actually have a problem they need or want to solve; they're simply seeking support and permission to move on. Boy, is it tough to let go! People naturally feel trepidation about leaving a known environment, even when it's the very thing making them unhappy. We cling to the familiar, losing sight of the fact that if we change nothing, nothing changes. Sometimes, though, the best thing to do is to calmly pick up, dust off, and move on. While the columns we've linked below don't necessarily represent times the Drama Mamas thought moving on was the best or only solution, they do illustrate the tangle of denial many players find themselves in over circumstances that are right there in black and white. You know it's time to move on when ... Your guild condones or even promotes public drama. Your guild has no firm rules. You're expending emotional energy to tolerate an atmosphere that doesn't fit what you want from a guild. You've made it a rule to refuse to group or speak with a guildmate who plays with you frequently. You don't actually play with the people in your guild -- and you're lonely.
The Guild Counsel: Lessons from you
Each week, I tip-toe to the sidewalk and plant my soapbox to pontificate on the trials and tribulations of guild life. I'm a little biased, obviously, but I really enjoy the social side of MMOs, and apart from a few brief months when I first started gaming back in 1999 (trying to figure out what the heck it was all about), I have always been involved with guilds. For every frustrating moment, drama-filled clash, and annoyance of management, I can cite 10 moments when being a part of a guild has made MMO gaming more enjoyable and satisfying for me. But each weekly topic has brought a wide variety of opinions from all of you, and while not everyone agrees, there have been some valuable comments. In this week's Guild Counsel, we'll look back at some of the hotbutton topics of the past and highlight some of the advice and commentary that the Massively readers have had when it comes to guild management and guild life in general. The soapbox is all yours!
The Guild Counsel: How to leave a guild gracefully
Last week, we talked about ways to leave with extreme drama and much messiness. One thing I intended to add in that column was the "right way" to leave a guild, but it's really something that deserves a column of its own. MMO players are really good at knowing how to push buttons, get under skin, and create drama. But what if you joined a nice guild and it just wasn't the right fit? How do you leave without looking like the bad guy? In this week's Guild Counsel, we'll look at ways to leave gracefully.
