MysteriousMysteries

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  • Mysterious Mysteries: Highlord Bolvar Fordragon cuts off his own head!

    by 
    David Bowers
    David Bowers
    08.12.2007

    Highlord Bolvar Fordragon, bodyguard to the King of Stormwind, was not previously known to be suicidal -- but today in Stormwind Keep a shocking sight was unfolded before the eyes of all citizens on their way to greet the child-king, Anduin Wrynn. As seen here, Bolvar repeatedly used his own sword to slice his head off!Mysterious Mysteries questioned King Wrynn, as he stood there, seemingly oblivious to the horror taking place right beside him. His only reply was to gaze at us meaningfully, and confess in a whisper: "I see dead people."Lady Katrana Prestor, who is actually the dragon Onyxia in disguise, agreed with the King on this matter. "Obviously you are too stupid to see the obvious. Bolvar here may be slicing his head off, but do you see any blood? I didn't think so. Now... go die in a fire."It is a mysterious mystery indeed: Why does Mister Fordragon repeatedly kill himself without success? Why does he allow Onyxia to keep coming back and standing next to him? The draenei emissary to the court of Stormwind, mister Taluun, had this to say: "This is but one of the Light's miracles, my son. The blessings of the Naaru prevent the great ones of the world from perishing -- as you can see, this powerful blade passes right through him."One careful listener, however, was able to get close enough to Highlord Bolvar's mad whisperings as he muttered words to himself before each slice: "She just won't leave me alone... she keeps coming back... they cut off her head a thousand times and she's still here! Aaaargh!" Gift of the Naaru? or curse of agony? It is for you to decide! Have you witnessed any other abnormal behavior on the part of Azeroth's denizens? Send your insider information to Mysterious Mysteries through the top-secret drop off box below this article!

  • Mysterious Mysteries: UFO spotted above Honor Hold

    by 
    David Bowers
    David Bowers
    07.18.2007

    If you have been to Honor Hold recently, you may have observed a strange flying creature circling the alchemists' tower. Insatiably curious, cunningly perceptive adventurers everywhere may well wonder: What in the world is that thing doing there?Lebowski, the resident engineering trainer, teaches his classes not too far from there. "One of my students pointed to it and asked me what it was," He told Mysterious Mysteries earlier this afternoon, "and this gave me the perfect opportunity to unveil my latest invention, the Telesupernaturaspectroscope! It may seem like a mere [Ornate Spyglass], but I have fitted it with a [Super-snapper FX] and a coating of [Ghost Dye], thus allowing us to capture images of spectral creatures while observing from a safe distance!" The Telesupernaturaspectrograph Lebowski took is quite chilling indeed. "You can see here," he tells us, "the Unexplainable Freaky Owl -- or 'UFO' as I call it -- is not only blue, but it seems to have gaping holes in its wings! Yet it flies! I suspect the alchemists are up to something!" We questioned Alchemist Gribble and Magus Zabraxis inside the alchemists tower as to what they think about this strange UFO flying about their tower. Miss Zabraxis replied that she didn't know about freaky owls but offered to show us her latest experiment, while Mr. Gribble stated, "It is the obvious result of conditions and circumstances which brought about its existence! Now go away and come back when you're ready to learn Extremely Advanced Alchemy!" Rorelien, the night elven Herbalist Trainer was seen to be lurking suspiciously in the background, but she declined to comment.Have you spotted any strange or inexplicable items or creatures in your journeys around Outland? Have you any theories as to what they're there for?

  • Mysterious Mysteries: Arakkoa superhero, or druid in disguise?

    by 
    David Bowers
    David Bowers
    06.27.2007

    Refugees dwelling in the Bone Wastes not far from the blasted ruin of Auchindoun have reported seeing a bird-man Arakkoa soaring through the sky! Kirrik the Awakened at the refugee caravan gave a speech today regarding the momentous significance of this sighting: "This is none other than Superarakkoa, the prophesied super-hero of the Arakkoa, come to reform the Arakkoa people and finally get our caravan moving again!" Superarakkoa is widely known among Arakkoa to be the invincible savior of "Truth, Justice, and the Arakkoa Way," only vulnerable to the deadly "dark crystals" or "Thraptonite," from the mythical planet of Thra.A night elf standing nearby said that the superhero is a hoax. This elf, named Jared, claims to know the hero's secret: "There is a quest for the Skyguard called 'A Shabby Disguise' in which you disguise yourself as an Arakkoa to buy a book from some guy. Well, I discovered that Druids can use their forms while in this disguise and it doesnt change their appearance." Showing us pictures he himself took of the hero (Superarakkoa's personal photographer, apparently), he claimed that the druid in question tried using his epic flight form while disguised, and was thereby able to fly about looking like an Arakkoa. "The disguise can only be used in Terokkar," he said, "but I still think it is a neat trick."Many thanks to our reader Jared for providing us with the inside scoop on this mystery! We wonder who Superarakkoa's secret identity is... but while we investigate that, what other mysterious uses have you adventurers found for other quests and disguises?

  • Mysterious Mysteries: Fel Reavers on wheels!

    by 
    David Bowers
    David Bowers
    05.29.2007

    The Burning Legion's dreaded (and sometimes dancing) Fel Reavers have been seen gliding around Hellfire Peninsula for the last week without appearing to walk! Adventurers everywhere have been trying to puzzle out how this could happen, but Lebowski, the Grand Master Engineer at Honor Hold, seems to have come up with the most plausible explanation:"Using my specially-engineered-for-super-stealth [Silent-Strider Kneeboots]," he told Mysterious Mysteries, sporting some very nasty cuts and bruises all over his body, "I managed to get underneath a Fel Reaver before it spotted me! I saw very clearly the roller-skates underneath its feet before it saw me and trampled my body into the dust!" Fortunately, his wife, a night elf priest, came looking for him soon after this horrible accident, and raised him back to life. "At least Lebowski didn't die in the house this time," she said. "The last time he invented something, he got bodily fluids all over our family rug!" Have you noticed any odd creature movement happening around Azeroth or Outland? Creatures jumping up and down in some sort of twisted and evil exercise program as they come into your field of view, perhaps?