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One Shots: Life isn't fair
Today, this boss mob woke up to the harsh realization that life just is not fair. Even with his impressive stature and the rather expensive sword that his grandma gave him for Christmas, he's unable to hold down any full-time job. What's worse is that every would-be "hero" in the world keeps ganging up on him. Even if he emerges victorious, everyone sneers and jeers at him. He just can't win. So let's meet our first antagonist, reader William, who documented this shameful moment from Final Fantasy XIV. "The new hunts are incredibly fun and have added a lot of variety to the game!" he chirped. "My friends and I recently tackled this S-Rank Hunt, Agrippa the Mighty, along with some additional help from people in the zone. Don't worry; I healed that poor Black Mage lalafell after taking this screenshot." But did you heal Agrippa and try to make friends with him? That's what would lead to a true storybook ending!
One Shots: Requiem for a rancor
You know what scene from Return of the Jedi that always got me teared up? When Luke kills the rancor and the beast's owner breaks down sobbing. You just know that thing was his best friend and now... now there is a large, monstrous hole in his life. Reader Chris could have had a lifelong companion but chose to go the Luke route in Star Wars: The Old Republic. "I let a Sith escape Belsavis in order to save the injured fighter pilot Conrad Gall from an 'ancient beast' -- a rancor, as it turns out. It was a close fight, as you can tell by where my Trooper finally took it down." Hats off to the brave rancor, whose only crime was being born a big, fat, sharp-toothed freak. Stop the bullying, I say!
One Shot: The eternal vigil
Some MMO tableaus attempt to tell a wordless story, and some of those stories are up for personal interpretation. I love finding these scattered around the world because they invite my imagination to be a part of the experience instead of spelling it out for me. Reader Chiara came across our first screenshot of the week here in Elder Scrolls Online, and it brought out strong emotions: "I don't really know what this man's story is -- but I can't help but wonder about it since I've first seen him. Did he die there? Did someone arrange his skeleton? I've no idea, but the scene just struck me as incredibly sad." Maybe he was keeping a vigil for a loved one. Maybe that vigil is not yet over. Who knows?
One Shots: Regrets, I've had a few
Staring at a sunset is a perfectly legitimate time to look back at one's day (and one's life) to muse upon victories won and defeats suffered. The regrets are then cast upon the sinking sun to be taken into the void of yesterday. Tomorrow? Tomorrow is a clean slate of possibilities. Reader Dynatos submitted this warm and fuzzy Final Fantasy XIV picture. "Here's another sunset, this time in Thanalan with my tanky Carbuncle. I kinda miss him after he was replaced." Regrets? We've all had a few. And if you don't read the rest of this column, you will regret it. That's friendly advice, not a threat.
One Shots: Child's play
Today, my friends, you are going to be disturbed by this column -- disturbed and delighted, puzzled and tantalized. But I'm afraid that we're going to have to begin with a sight that is quite unsettling, so if there are any small children in the room, get them to hold your hand because there's no way you are brave enough to witness this. "I recently returned to The Secret World and have been having a blast, but I think this is the scariest scene I have come across whilst playing," reader Balsbigbrother. "OK, so it's a little gory with the meat cleaver in the head but those dolls and the shadows they make on the walls, eeek! The game atmosphere kind of builds up to a point where your own imagination takes over. So while I was in that room, I kept thinking if all those dolls suddenly turned around to face me, I would seriously lose it and maybe need psychiatric counseling for several months afterwards." You're not alone, man. The Nursery was one of the most terrifying places I've ever visited in a video game. Let's see who dares to see the whole tableau after the break!
One Shots: Fare game
We're starting to get a lot of WildStar submissions these days following the launch, which is something I certainly encourage (and where are you people with awesome Elder Scrolls Online pics, by the way?). Today we've got two for our player screenshot column, starting off with reader Darla and a very sour Chua. "The cabbies in this game don't shut up and my Chua is having a tough time coping," Darla moans. Secretly, I think she loves the weird chatter coming from the driver, but Chua have a reputation to maintain, you know? It's not just cabbies and expensive space fares after the break, but also pictures to vibrant that they will make your ocular cavities weep saline fluid!
One Shots: Agents of S.W.O.R.D.
Ugh, every time I see a great Champions Online screenshot I lament to the universe how such a good-looking game flopped so hard. Shouldn't have been that way. Or maybe it's not; maybe it's the best-kept secret in MMOs and I don't know it. Reader Sean sent in this picture of his team, the Agents of SWORD: "I used to play quite a bit of this game from closed beta through about four months after launch. Before the dark times. Before the patches. At any rate, I loved this game with a deep passion--mostly because the costume designer was near limitless. But then I was also able to run the game at max settings at 1920x1080 and it was glorious." We have more gloriosity (go with it) for your starved eyes after the break!
One Shots: Mount up!
Whether it's a real-world or fantasy version, we apparently can't resist showing off a sweet, sweet ride. This week's edition of One Shots is dedicated to all of your spiffy-looking mounts and the paint jobs that you had done to them while they were asleep. The first one comes from The Lurker, who might become one with his horse in EverQuest II: "Arriving at the magical teleportation spires in the Commonlands. Stepping into the magical wortex will dissolve even a Deathknight and restructure him in a distant land. Is it really safe? If I ride into it on my horse, will we arrive as a centaur? And must I then join the Centaur Herds in the Thundering Steppes? Is that how they came to be?" Get the picture in full Technicolor as well as several additional ones -- at no extra charge! -- all after the break.
One Shots: Weather forecast
We've got a lot of great player-submitted screenshots revolving around weather and the environment in-game, starting off with this fantastic picture by Star Trek Online player Chris. "Here is Captain Hannah Welch and the senior staff of the USS Aurora on the surface of an alien world at dusk," Chris writes. "This is one of my favorite screenshots -- it captures what Star Trek has meant to me since I was a kid. A tight group of friends in a universe filled with wonders we've yet to see. One of my favorite quotes from the series (from the pen of Maurice Hurley) comes from Q at the end of the episode that introduces the Borg; 'It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's NOT for the timid.'" If you're adventurous and without timidity, continue reading to see what our community conjured up for this week's weather forecast One Shots!
One Shots: Chubby chocobos on parade
Whenever your game gets a goofy mount or pet, it's an inevitability that populated areas will be swarmed by them. So it came to pass in Final Fantasy XIV, as the fat chocobo mounts became the hot new thing that all the hip young kids wanted to ride. Reader Connor brings us this parade of chubby chocobos from his recent adventures: "This was when the new mount got released a few weeks ago. Everyone stood around AFKing in the high level hub, but eventually we formed a miltia and sallied forth." Chubby chocobo, you look beautiful and amazing just the way you are. Also, delicious. Like a giant Peep. OK, we need to hit the jump to see the rest of this week's screenshot submissions before I start trying to eat my monitor.
Marvel Heroes introduces One-Shots!
Greetings, True Believers! If you've been enjoying the scintillating storyline swiftly strung throughout Marvel Heroes, you're no doubt happy at the thought of more tantalizing tales of heroes and villains. But when the game is built on a broad base of boundless maps and mazes, where could the writers weave a web of wonder without damaging the delicate designs of Doom's decisive defeat? Why, the answer is simple -- it's time for the game to embrace the might Marvel One-Shot! One-Shots are episodes carefully crafted to comic concerns, focused on isolated incidents rather than breaking up the flow of the central narrative structure. The first one pits heroes against the sinister schemes of Man-Ape as he seeks to subdue the people of Wakanda and ruin the regency of Wakanda's rightful ruler, Black Panther. Any hero of level 20 or above who's cheering for a change of pace can pick up the One-Shot by selecting the Terminal from any waypoint, so by all means, jump in the next time you're in the game. Excelsior!
One Shots: Dance like nobody's watching
Boy howdy, my screenshot challenge from a couple of weeks ago for you folks to take pictures of your characters dancing was pretty popular! I received a slew of entries, so why not dedicate an entire column to Massively readers shaking what their developers gave them? First up is reader Duncan, who wins the internet (for a minute at least) with this picture: "Hey Massively! Here is a snapshot of my Chua character BuzzCracker in WildStar taking time off from his adventures on Nexus to get down and funky on the dance floor at 'Wild William's Tiki Bar' in the tree tops of Wilderrun. Don't ask me why the Mechari and the two Loppi are dancing with no clothes behind Buzz; it must be something in the drinks being served by old Bill at the bar. Next stop for BuzzCracker is a spring break beach party ongoing in Malgrave!" Really, this should go to show that the world is primed and ready for an all-dancing MMO. Let's shake our groove thang with the rest of this week's entries!
One Shots: Fried calamari
Good games require memorable villains, I've always said. And while suave, well-dressed British masterminds are good in a pinch, nothing can top 150 tons of ticked-off gigantopus. So rest in peace, City of Heroes, and be content that you will be remembered for haunting the darkest dreams of superheroes for all time. "Here is my squid (a Kheldian Peacebringer in Nova form) as part of a team vs. a larger squid. This is the giant octopus Lusca, frequently seen in Independence Port," reader Ben sent in. Seriously, that thing is like an elder god taking a steam bath. It's going to react to your puny eye beams and frost blasts by warping all of reality with a sneeze. Speaking of warped reality, get a load of our other player-submitted screenshots after the break!
One Shots: Reflection perfection
"Take a picture of a picture in an MMO," I said to you guys a couple of weeks ago, and darn it if you awesome folks didn't come through! We have two entries from that screenshot challenge this week, starting with reader Chiara taking a look at her good looks in Lord of the Rings Online. "One of the things that impressed me the most when Riders of Rohan launched was the furniture," Chiara wrote. "I spent the whole day breaking into NPCs' houses uninvited (they weren't amused). The first time I saw a mirror, I squealed." I'm squealing right now myself, but that's mostly because a mouse just ran across the ceiling tiles. I need to throw a cat up between the floors one of these days to solve that problem. Anyway, let's take a gander at the other great entires from players' screenshot folders!
One Shots: You won't believe what color this horse is
Let's start our time together today by playing a game! The game is this: You have until you hit the "continue reading" button to figure out what color this horse (well, technically a unicorn) is. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. This picture comes from reader Becca: "Here is my EverQuest 2 Fury, Sarense, riding her mighty steed. I spent a few hours grinding out candy hearts to get this mount, which shoots hearts out of his eyes and hooves (unfortunately not captured here). He's a hardcore stallion. Look at his cocky stare. He knows that you know he's a badass." My apologies in advance for our colorblind readers who think that this game is unfair. I'll tell you the answer to be fair: It's purple. Shh! Don't tell the rest of our readers, OK?
One Shots: Bobble heads
Did we all have a good April Fools' Day this year? Oh hush you; this is why nobody invites you to parties. I certainly had fun, especially while running around with my giant bobble-headed characters in Guild Wars 2. Giant bobble heads are scientifically proven to make any video game 75% more enjoyable. Reader HawkEye sent me in a disturbing number of screenshots with his large noggins, but I chose this one because it also tickled me that the animals had their heads enlarged. "'Sup Mister Ram?" HawkEye said. "Don't headbutt me, okay? Please?" I think that creature more wanted to end its misery than contribute to yours, HawkEye, so hopefully you survived the experience. What other strange views await you in the rest of this column? Probably nothing this strange, that's for sure.
One Shots: Up close and very personal
I am pleased as punch today because several of you took me up on the screenshot challenge to get an "up close and personal" picture of an enemy. Without stealth or a sniper scope, this is a very tricky proposition, but even so, three of you came out with the photographic proof. First up is reader Wolfger, who escaped by the skin of his teeth in Guild Wars 2. "Here's a shot of Brewer Foster getting up in the face of one of the game's favorite loot piñatas, the champion boar in Queensdale. It catches the beast reeling from a blast as our hero is facing it down with a... slingshot?" Mmm... anyone want a ham dinner? Either way, scoot closer to your monitor and prepare to have your eyeballs blown from the awesome images to come in this week's edition of One Shots!
One Shots: The kiddie pool
What does an insane kinetic interstellar critter do on his or her day off? Why, soak in an outdoor pool and try not to think about why the water suddenly got warmer, of course! Reader Crazyrabbit63 (probably not his real name) sent in this WildStar picture to kickstart our fun this week: "This is my Chua, BuzzCracker, sitting in his kiddie pool and relaxing after a long day of hunting Exiles across Nexus. After a few minutes in the water, BuzzCracker realized he had too many Spicy Jabbits for lunch!" If diminutive pools aren't your thing, we've got the excitement of both Hell and singing mushrooms after the break!
One Shots: To the rescue!
There's nothing quite like the feeling of coming to the rescue of a friend, virtual or not. I've tried rescuing people in real life, but I've found that not every granny wants to be given a piggy-back ride across streets and not every depressed teen is waiting for a well-choreographed dance routine to turn his or her life around. I guess I'll take a cue from reader Mary, who found her inner hero in Spiral Knights. "In McVillain to the Rescue, my buddy Astro has been hemmed in by baddies by our friend's freezy bomb during a particularly rough arena," Mary explained. "Toward the top right corner, I'm coming to save him, weapon charged and at the ready." What other thrilling rescues lie ahead in this column? If nothing else, it'll be a rescue from boredom, so let us give you that emotional piggy-back ride you desperately need!
One Shots: Granny Freedom
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a super-powered senior citizen with slight incontinence and a grappling hook! Well, there's something you don't see every day. Reader Dynatos brings this gripping image from Champions Online to our attention: "A superhero that has come back out of retirement, Granny Freedom grapples across Millennium City's skies on the lookout for both evil-doers and heroes who need a little help with their moral compass!" She's also never late for Denny's early bird specials. So what other visual treats do we have in store for you whippersnappers this week? Oh, wouldn't you like to know!
