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Portabliss: Shantae Risky's Revenge (iOS/DSiWare)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Shantae: Risky's Revenge. For many reasons, some worthwhile and some not so much, people balk at the idea of playing a DSiWare game. And that means that most of them missed Shantae: Risky's Revenge, which was not only the highest-rated DS game of last year, but happens to be a damned lovable game. It's a good thing, then, that it's come to a download store that people are willing to admit patronizing (the iOS App Store). And the virtual controls work well enough that you'll be able to enjoy the game, though you may find yourself occasionally pining for the luxury of a d-pad you can both see and feel.
Portabliss: Russian Dancing Men (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Russian Dancing Men. I had no idea how badly this needed to happen. Russian Dancing Men is nothing less than a Weebl's Stuff music game, featuring rhythm-based gameplay to the tune of songs I'm afraid to mention, because they'll be stuck in your head for months. All right, I'll do it. You'll hate me for this. "Where can you see lions? Only in Kenya." "Taking a bow, it's Magical Trevor; everyone has seen that the trick is clever." And I'm really sorry to do this to you: "Snake, a snake, oh, it's a snake." Russian Dancing Men acknowledges the secret shame of loving the looping music from some old Flash videos, and turns it into a strength. As the Russian Dancing Men, you take a tour through the worlds of Weebl and Bob's most popular earworms, as badgers, Amazing Horses, crabs, and beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans fly around behind you. Gameplay is reminiscent of Vib-Ribbon: you have four on-screen buttons, each bearing an iconic representation of a certain type of obstacle (hurdle, pit, spikes, loop). You press each button as each obstacle comes up (or two in the case of certain "combination" obstacles), to the beat of the music. For the most part, this is a simple, effective, and damned challenging design for a music game, and I never had any problems with the virtual buttons, except for briefly mixing them up. Here's the big problem with this game, the one that makes me wonder if the developers understood the point of music games in the first place: at certain points in each song, the music (and the gameplay) will actually speed up or slow down. The rhythm changes arbitrarily. In a rhythm game. Who does that? It's pretty annoying, but it just means you'll lose every level the first time you play it. That was going to happen anyway. Russian Dancing Men is available on iTunes as a universal app. It's currently on sale for $0.99. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: Bring Me Sandwiches!! (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Bring Me Sandwiches!!. If there's one thing that Katamari Damacy has taught us, it's that it's fun to take a small thing and make it bigger. Much, much bigger. Bring Me Sandwiches!! takes advantage of the same concept, except that instead of rolling up balls of junk, you're building the largest sandwiches in the universe. As Jimmy, lowly employee of a Stuffy's fast food restaurant, players are chosen as the Earth's only great hope during an alien invasion. At the behest of a giant, globular (and gastronomically inclined) alien, you must rush around the planet ... building sandwiches.
Portabliss: Another World: 20th Anniversary Edition (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Another World: 20th Anniversary Edition. My ability to complete Another World is entirely rooted in memory at this point. To wit, the only reason I can finish it is because I've finished it. That's how it goes every time I play a new incarnation, and I struggle to imagine my younger self peering through the game's opaque sequences without the aid of a previous life. And sometimes (just between you and me) I think it's just a bad game. Another World (which, holy crap, is twenty years old now) has almost no guidance, no user interface, it murders the bewildered protagonist without warning and, if it's your first time, progress seems to require pristine visions of the future. Not many developers would make a game like this today. Even fewer would let you drown within the first ten seconds of gameplay.
Portabliss: Age of Monsters - Rock Paper Scissors (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Age of Monsters - Rock Paper Scissors. There's something adorably goofy about Age of Monsters. So much effort was put into making an absolutely beautiful game, with lots of well-animated characters rendered in lovely, hand-drawn 2D art by Jeff Matsuda, character designer on The Batman. Those characters face off in a side-view, fighting-game like presentation, with dramatic sound effects. And then it's rock, paper, scissors. Yes, Age of Monsters is a game that presents best-of-three rock, paper, scissors matches using brilliant fighting-game-esque animated sequences between a bunch of ghost/monster type characters. It's overkill. It's like building a checkerboard in which each piece is a tiny remote-controlled car. But if you have any interest whatsoever in playing rock, paper, scissors with your Game Center buddies, this is totally the way to do it. It's a pleasure to behold and -- oh yeah -- it's free. Technically, it's freemium, with extra characters available as in-app purchases. But for all intents and purposes, it's just free. That's the right price for a digital rock, paper, scissors simulation, even one in which said objects are psychically projected by a pair of spooky children.%Gallery-137033% Age of Monsters - Rock Paper Scissors is available on iTunes free for iPhone. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: Fruit Ninja: Puss in Boots (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Fruit Ninja: Puss in Boots. You might be tempted to hold a grudge against Fruit Ninja: Puss in Boots. It seems like a vaguely disturbing trend to match popular mobile games to upcoming movies, just because they have compatible premises, for purely promotional purposes. Two games is a trend, right? But we all knew this was going to be good. It turns out that the license is actually a good thing, as the result is a version of Fruit Ninja with the addition of vocal encouragement from Antonio Banderas. Ah yes! The other, less Boots-specific additions are delightful as well.%Gallery-136062%
Portabliss: GoatUp (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: GoatUp. So I've been playing this game about a goat and ... why, yes, it is a Jeff Minter game! How did you guess? GoatUp, Minter's first platformer, is the expression of seemingly every Minter trope in one tiny, touch-controlled package. That means it's a score-based game with millions of incredibly random things happening all over the screen, flashing bitmap text everywhere, and items and areas that serve as references I'd surely find nostalgic if I had grown up playing European computer games. It's also the first iPhone platformer I've played in which the tilt controls are actually preferable to touch controls. The platforming is very loose, so that you can run and jump kind of haphazardly and still land on a platform. The default control scheme allows you to run left and right by tilting, and jump by tapping the bottom of the screen, which actually grants you enough precision to play successfully. And by "play successfully" I mean "make a goat climb a tower of grassy platforms, eating grass, picking up hundreds of items and spontaneously generating baby goats, who trail behind you after the fanfare of 'Congoatulations!'" GoatUp is available on iTunes for $1.99 for the iPad and iPhone. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: The Dark Meadow (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: The Dark Meadow. There are really two kinds of influence in the emerging mobile game market. On the one hand, you've got the sort of race-to-the-bottom developers that attempt to copy whatever's successful to a note, never bringing anything of their own to the equation. But the really exciting thing is seeing smart devs take a page from a game that works and build on it, while never directly copying. Phosphor Games' The Dark Meadow is firmly in the second camp, taking its lead from Infinity Blade, but inventing a few new steps of its own.
Portabliss: Loop Raccord (iPad)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Loop Raccord. As much as we critics push game developers to create new, exciting game mechanics, we rarely have many good suggestions for what those should be. "You know, just make it ... differenter! With different ... stuff." Today's Portabliss, Loop Raccord, is a good reminder of just how much undiscovered territory there is to explore.
Portabliss: Tiny Invaders (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Tiny Invaders. Contagion is a fitting topic for an iPhone game, considering how often I've picked one up after coming in contact with someone that already had it. And though Tiny Invaders isn't a deliberate metaphor for viral marketing, I'm happy to help spread its icky green tendrils. First-time developer Hogrocket (which is basically cheating by employing Geometry Wars designer Stephen Cakebread) has created a fun little game about trains, and then hidden it inside a lighthearted tale of alien invasion. In order to take over the bodies of various American caricatures, you guide your microscopic, autonomous invaders through the bloodstream by tapping on turns and junctions to change their path. Once you've collected all the on-track orbs and carried them back to the originating ship, you move on to the next stage.
Portabliss: Monsters Ate My Condo! (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Monsters Ate My Condo!. I've always had a bad feeling about condos. I always thought of them as either the home of some lecherous old dude trying to do gross things or the set of some sitcom starring a bunch of lecherous old dudes. Now I know why I shied away from that style of dwelling: because monsters love to eat condos. %Gallery-134311%
Portabliss: The Impossible Game (PSP Minis)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: The Impossible Game. The Impossible Game might actually be impossible -- just really, really damn difficult. That difficulty is belied by a total visual and mechanical simplicity. And yet, despite my persistent lack of success, I keep trying, fascinated by the simple gameplay. Essentially, it's an even more streamlined, more rhythmic version of my beloved Bit.Trip Runner, albeit without all the variety. As ... a square, you jump to hit platforms and avoid obstacles in auto-scrolling levels, moving very quickly and with a very limited view. Make one mistake and you have to start over. These levels are all timed to the tune of accompanying music, so your jumps occur on beat. That's it. But understanding how to play isn't the same as being able to play! The stages move so quickly, and the obstacles require split-second timing and precise jumps, or you start over. And, I'm afraid to say, the game keeps a running count of your attempts, in big print on the top of the screen. Yes, The Impossible Game is intensely frustrating, which makes it ideal for portable play. You play for a few minutes until you get angry, then put it aside. The fact that it's designed for just a few minutes is the "ideal" bit, by the way. I'm not saying it's important to be angry while you're traveling. The Impossible Game is available from the PlayStation Store for $2.99. It's also available on Xbox Live Indie Games, iOS, Android, Windows Phone, and even the Nokia Ovi Store. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack (iOS/Android)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Serious Sam: Kamikaze Attack. I've never played any of the Serious Sam games, so I approached Serious Sam: Kamikaze Attack without the benefit of context. So, to me, this iPhone game is about a heroic, headless man in boxing gloves who runs and kicks missiles until he can tackle a guy in a white t-shirt, at which point he explodes. I'm having a hard time believing that this makes sense to other people. Despite the total insanity of the premise ... OK, because of it ... I'm really enjoying this game. As a Headless Kamikaze enemy, you auto-run through short levels, jumping over and kicking obstacles like cacti, frogs, missiles, and bouncing bombs. As you progress through the level, you run with increasing speed, unless you pick up a slow-down item. The goal is to tackle and blow up Sam at the end of the level, who is running away from you. However, that goal isn't really the goal. Each stage has a "bonus objective" usually involving destroying a specified number of a certain obstacle -- "kick 15 frogs" -- before you reach Sam. In these cases, you may actually want to delay reaching the end of the stage. It's kind of neat to break what feels like a "run forever" Canabalt-style game into discrete, short levels. Well, it's either neat or entirely missing the point, but I happen to like the change of pace. I also like the cold shock of being dropped into this world. Are all the Serious Sam games this weird?%Gallery-134562% Serious Sam: Kamikaze Attack is available from the iOS App Store as a universal app for $.99, and from the Android Market for the same price. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: VidRhythm (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: VidRhythm. I've been debating for some time whether or not it would be kosher to refer to VidRhythm, Harmonix's new iOS music-making application, as a "game." I suppose splitting hairs in this debate could lead to the retroactive de-gamification of classics like the MTV Music Generator, but the lack of points, or a win scenario, or any form of competition seems to disqualify VidRhythm from eligibility to be written about on this, our gaming blog. But I'm going to do it anyway. Because while VidRhythm lacks many of those oh-so-important game components, it brings a hell of a lot of manic, hilarious fun to the table.
Portabliss: Fractal: Make Blooms Not War (iPad)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Fractal: Make Blooms Not War.. My entire life, I've had a problem. When I see multiple shapes or objects of the same color, I feel this need to push them together and make them vanish. It's instinctual, some kind of primordial need I must fulfill at every given opportunity. And that's why I can't put down Fractal: Make Blooms Not War from Cipher Prime, the developer of Pulse and Auditorium.%Gallery-132534%
Portabliss: Jetpack Joyride (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Jetpack Joyride. The free NES games in Nintendo's 3DS Ambassador Program arrived at an awkward time, because the standout of that group for me, Balloon Fight, is now getting overshadowed by the many jetpacks of Barry Steakfries. Like Halfbrick's Monster Dash before it (and Balloon Fight's "Balloon Trip" mode long before that), Jetpack Joyride takes the autorunning genre defined on iOS by Canabalt and adds a few kinks. Unlike Monster Dash, however, Jetpack Joyride is deep, with a mess of power-ups, vehicles, and mechanical and aesthetic additions. I was repeatedly taken aback by how fleshed out Halfbrick has made its latest iOS game, and repeatedly charmed by the studio's presentation. Nods to past Halfbrick titles abound (beyond the main character's return from previous iOS games), and the inclusion of an entire vehicle poking fun at the iPhone's most popular franchise lends an extra layer of levity to the already cheeky proceedings.%Gallery-131935%
Portabliss: Antipole (DSiWare)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Antipole. If you're a DSi owner feeling glum about the lack of free NES games today -- or if you're a 3DS owner wanting to play something new after binging on NES games -- Antipole is the ideal solution. It's a classic-style side-scrolling platform action game built around a really great gimmick: your character can flip gravity in a bubble around his body at will. Your ability to reverse gravity allows you not only to stick to the ceiling, but to extend jumps by flipping mid-jump, to flip enemies and environmental obstacles, and even to send bombs back upward to the enemies that dropped them. Each level introduces a new wrinkle to the formula, from lasers that you have to block with a box, to toxic pools of sludge that kill you in one hit -- and float upward toward you inside your gravity bubble -- to robotic spiders who exude their own gravity bubbles. The levels are brief enough, and the restart time quick enough, that it doesn't really irritate you that much to learn by trial and error. Antipole may not be the best-looking game on DS; in fact, the graphics have a sort of PC-shareware charm to them. But the level design and mechanics combine to make enjoyably devious puzzles. And, occasionally, like whenever that toxic sludge is involved, frustratingly devious puzzles. If you happen to have an Xbox 360, you can try this game out -- it's on Xbox Live Indie Games. In fact, we featured it as an Indie Gem. It's just a cool game, on either platform! %Gallery-122548% Antipole is available from the 3DS eShop for $5, or the DSi Shop for 500 DSi Points. We're always looking for new distractions. Want to submit your game for Portabliss consideration? You can reach us at portabliss aat joystiq dawt com.
Portabliss: Quarrel
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Quarrel. "If you're an Independent Developer, and you're not selling games directly to customers yet, start worrying, because this industry is changing beyond all recognition." – Denki founder Colin Anderson After failing to find a publisher for its Xbox Live Arcade word puzzler Quarrel, developer Denki laid off much of its staff and got to work on abandoning its "old business model" so it could start selling games directly to customers. And while that Xbox Live Arcade version has been done for some time, and has finally found a publisher in Ignition Entertainment, it's the new iOS version that Denki is releasing first ... last Thursday, in fact. Quarrel is a polished word puzzler that bills itself as equal parts Scrabble and Risk, and it works like this: You face-off against computer-controlled opponents, trying to capture every territory on the map; however, unlike Risk, battles in Quarrel are fought with words. At the beginning of each match, both players will be given the same eight letters, an anagram shuffled up beyond recognition (my last round was PANELLED). The number of letters you're able to deploy in battle depends on how many troops you have on each territory. My six-troop territory played PLEAD, worth 10 points, against the AI's six-troop PEEL, worth a measly seven. %Gallery-131083%
Portabliss: Pigs in Trees (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Pigs in Trees. If I were to tell you that the game I was playing involved birds, and also pigs, and also the birds and pigs were embroiled in some kind of ceaseless melee, but that the game I was playing was not that one super-popular game, you'd probably assume I was playing some clone of that super-popular game that had been placed on the App Store as a trap for dumb people. I know this, because I am telling you that, and you are totally assuming that. Pan Vision and Tactile Entertainment's Pigs in Trees is anything but dumb, however -- though it is something of a trap. The first few, brief and uninspiring levels left me believing that I'd be able to put the game down after just a few minutes with it. After a few hours of blasting birds out of the sky with my biplane-piloting swine, I realized that I was just about as wrong as I've ever been.
Portabliss: Office Jerk (iOS, Android)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Office Jerk. God, Office Jerk is a stupid game. Hell, it's barely even a game. You know what you do? There's this poor guy, and he has glasses on, and he's trying to work and you sit behind him and throw things at him, because you're just the worst. You know what he's working on over there? He's programming a charity website. It's a charity website to raise money for homeless baby penguins and he's spending his lunch break building it pro bono. How are you helping? Oh, that's right, you're flicking your iPhone or Android device's screen to throw dozens of different items right at his head, all the while accounting for the breeze of the office's constantly oscillating fan.
