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The Onion turns us on to new, better devices
It's smaller, has fewer buttons, and comes saddled with an aspirational price tag. You want it, right? "The new device is an improvement over the old device, making it more attractive for purchase by all Americans," company spokesman Thomas Wakefield told The Onion -- and we're inclined to agree. After all, the consumer electronics industry isn't just about buying items that will improve your quality of life. No, it's also about pressing your buttons, finding ways to make you feel good about a brand -- whether through totally rad product placement or ample, yet vague, product specs. All in all, we can't say it better than a certain Robert Larson: "The new device brings me satisfaction." And you can't put a price on that, can you? Available soon for $395.
Xbox Live school threat is serious business
Two Ohio schools received quite a scare this week, as two potential plots to bring firearms to the schools were uncovered. The tool that was used to uncover one plot: Xbox Live. The first incident involved a middle school student who told a California teen, during and Xbox Live match, that he intended to bring a 9mm pistol to his school. The California boy's father overheard the conversation and contacted the FBI. The middle schooler was subsequently arrested. His Xbox 360 and a pistol were confiscated. It is currently unknown when or if he will be allowed to return to school.A second similar threat was made towards an Ohio high school, apparently overheard by a student. The high school was briefly on lockdown and patrols in the area have been increased. Teays Valley Superintendent, Jeff Sheets, believes that the second threat was inspired by the middle school plot earlier in the week. So far there are no arrests and no suspects have been named for the high school threat.[Via Joystiq]
