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Goon Squad downs Tirion Fordring
Perennial pariahs Goon Squad, Horde-side on Mal'Ganis-US, have really carved out a niche for themselves in the World of Warcraft. Well, two niches. The first is a rock-solid reputation of being the foremost trolls and griefers in the MMO market, period -- a reputation perpetuated by a community that operates mostly on word-of-mouth and lovingly crafted by the guild itself. The second is providing some of the best and most hilarious WoW videos on the internet. This one is no exception -- they managed to score a victory for the Lich King by defeating the dread paladin Fordring. It's a rare ability, possessed by Goon Squad and a few other community figures, to be able to take the building blocks of the game experience provided by Blizzard -- strictly compartmentalized and defined by sets of incontrovertible rules -- and then cobble together something wholly new and, frankly, ridiculous out of them. You're not supposed to be able to bring together two often-'shipped faction leaders for an impromptu date. You're not supposed to be able to blow the Wintergrasp fortress wall to smithereens in a minute's time. You're certainly not supposed to be able to kill the head of the Argent Crusade who, by the way, should learn to cast Consecrate.
The Goons are building an Age of Conan city
In a show of devotion to either Age of Conan or Something Awful (we are unsure which), the SA Goons and their guild, the Hordes of Goonheim, have begun construction on the first user city on a PvP server. It's also possibly the first user city in the game. In a post on NeoGAF, a Goon going by Justin relates how they got the city started and the celebration-by-trampling over their accomplishment. Hats off to those devoted Goons willing to sacrifice their time, money, and most importantly, social life to build an Age of Conan city.One can only wonder, though, that what would happen if the Goons dedicated more time to philanthropic causes than building cities and running EVE Online alliances. The Katrina fund was just one example of the power of good that goons can do when prompted (even though it was shut down by PayPal). What if they spent more time volunteering than playing Age of Conan?[Via JoBildo]
Video game anagrams bring joy to our hearts
If you missed the last edition of Something Awful's video game anagrams, you missed the desecration of some of our favorite video games, such as Super Metroid (More Turd Pies) and Grim Fandango (Gonad Farming), accompanied by some spectacularly Photoshopped box art. Last week, SA posted chapter two of Anagrammed Video Games -- and it does not disappoint.From the quazi-NSFW Secret of My Naked Loins (Secret of Monkey Island) to Bowser Penis Armour (New Super Mario Bros.) we can guarantee that this will be the hardest you will laugh today, possibly all week. Now, if you'll kindly excuse us, we're going to go finish our game of Abortionist Sea King.
Breakfast Topic: What makes a good PvP video?
handgun over on Livejournal asks "What, in your opinion, makes a good PvP video?"He suggests showing World PvP only, kills when you're outnumbered, or building in a plotline. But what do you think? It seems like whenever we mention PvP videos here, someone mentions World of Roguecraft, and they've got pretty much everything. But then again, they've also got 41 minutes, and I'd say a good PvP video has to be shorter than that. Somethingawf's video is one of my favorites, but it's really a parody of PvP vids more than it really is one. I also like the classic Big Blue Dress, which shows some cool PvP moves, but couldn't really be considered a PvP video.So if I made the perfect PvP vid, it would have to have a story, great music, lots of humor, be pretty short, and it would have to have my favorite feature of PvP videos-- the bragging, taunting, and the flashy crit kills. It's definitely an interesting genre-- what, in your opinion, makes a good PvP video?
The hilarity of diveo mage anagrams
Diveo mage, of course, being a rather pathetic anagram of "video game." Admittedly, we're not very good at this. Rather, head over to Something Awful's Photoshop Phriday for a collection of games that could only come about after some serious letter shuffling and, in many cases, heavy drug abuse. We won't spoil it for you, but rest assured that Tragic Mahjong Copter 3 is a truly excellent game.( Ahoy Hot Dropship ... p? We really are rubbish at this.)
All I want from Sony is better advertising
The Internet is filled with tons of awful, awful things. And the people of Something Awful make their living looking for the Internet's worst. They discovered a Sony-owned and operated blog called "all i want for xmas is a psp." While many PSP enthusiasts will agree with an idea like that, the blog is clearly corporate. Watch this video, found on the site, which features a suspiciously old looking white "teen" that performs a video so bad, it's not even funny. Do you think this kind of advertising would work... on anybody?[Via Joystiq]
MovieWatch: Something Awful's first PVP video
If you don't like PVP videos, you probably won't like this one. But if you consider yourself (as I do) a connoisseur of PVP vids, here's one of the best. Made by the forum goons over at SomethingAwful.com (Do you have stairs in your house?), it's a cut above your average PVP bragging vid, because it'll make you gasp at the over-the-top crits, and it'll make you laugh with the sheer lunacy that these guys churn out. I especially like the musical interlude in the middle. Sure, something like this is a little more traditional and impressive for a PVP vid (and about as long as usual), but this Something Awful video has a charm you just can't ignore.Update: What is this, hilarious PVP video day? Just minutes after I post, I come across this baby, which is even funnier. Got any more?
Uwe Boll does something awful to another critic
Anti-filmmaker Uwe Boll has beaten another one of his critics completely senseless -- and this time it was in a boxing ring, not a darkened cinema. Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of Something Awful infamy was the second to fall to the raging Boll's flying fists in a PR-driven series of boxing matches. Like any dignified artist, Boll vowed to silence critics by punching them in the face, proving once and for all that ... well, we're not sure what exactly this proves. We know he's a good boxer, at least. In a video interview after the match, Kyanka amusingly points out that he now detests Uwe Boll not as a movie misdirector, but as a human being. According to the pummeled pundit, Boll offered to give his victims training beforehand and promised that his punches would be just for show. Quite apparently, that was not the case (video embedded after the break). Regardless, it now becomes clear that critics played right into Boll's gloved ham-hands. The selected participants arguably never stood a chance, something the video game violator well aware of in his struggle for Pyrrhic victory. Punching out a critic does not make his films any less craptacular and the whole fiasco has made him look like a fight-makes-right psychopath. 1UP contributor, Albert Art, snapped some pictures at the event and even conducted a brief interview with Boll. When asked why he continues to make video game films, Boll responds with an enlightening, "I keep doing video game based movies because look why not, all the comic-book get made into movies, even comics that sold 2000 copies there are movies out from it, why like big famous videos games shouldn't turn into movies." That about says it all. [Thanks, albertart and VGM!]Read - Something Awful's forum respondsRead - Albert Art's event coverage and interviewWatch - Video interview with Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka after the matchWatch - Boll's previous boxing match
Awful CD-i Zelda games get remixed
While checking out Something Awful's recent, videogame-themed Photoshop Phriday contest, we couldn't help but notice a link to the site's latest Flash Tub feature, which actually manages to make something good out of the eminently forgettable CD-i Zelda games. Apparently, some SA forum members took audio clips from the games' hilariously bad dialogue and remixed them into some maddeningly catchy techno songs. They even went so far as to create a so-bad-its-good Flash animation for one of the songs, which has a hook that will have you mumbling "I can't wait to bomb some dodongos" all weekend.Click the read link to view the video and download MP3s of some of the remixes, or continue reading for some hilarious YouTube video of the source material.
When gaming meets and eats gourmet
This week's Photoshop Phriday over at Something Awful once again relates to the wonderful world of video games, tasking fervent photochoppers to take their slicing and splicing skills into the kitchen. The cataclysmic combination of gaming and gourmet yields some absolutely ingenious (even delicious) results and should easily satiate your appetite for a good laugh. From Metal Gear Salads and organized crime omelettes to the frightening discovery of an obtuse vending machine in one of the ages of Myst, the selection is well worth sampling. [Image by Overbite. Thanks Lupos.]
'Postal' creator bugged by Boll's boxing stint
A month ago, Uwe Boll put up a call to critics to "put up or shut up!" The plan was to have the ill-reputed game director fly the brave souls who "put up" to Vancouver to enter a boxing ring with him (so far, we know of one critic who took the call). The matches will be filmed, shown on the internet, and included in the upcoming game-to-film adaptation Postal.But Uwe Boll forgot to inform Postal creator Running With Scissors. In their latest newsletter, the company had this to say:Oh yeah, when asked if he had any comment to make on Uwe's latest PR brainstorm, Vince Desi had his head buried in his hands, muttering only: "I didn't know he was going to do this. He didn't tell me."The infamous developer does not sound too pleased. But in an e-mail exchange with 1UP, Boll conveys that "all is good" and that he has followed their notes for the treatment. We've got plenty of time to speculate, though: Postal will not start filming until work finishes up on the Dungeon Siege adaptation and a non-game film entitled Seed.[via 1UP]
Boll adds Something Awful to punchout list
The man every gamer loves to hate has accepted an application to knock out (or get knocked out by) one of his many critics: Something Awful's Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka. Like a man of his word, Uwe Boll will not back down from those who seek to knock him from his throne of cinema la crap.So, unrelenting in their constant Boll-bashing, Something Awful is ready to step up to the plate and take one for the team: "I sent Mr. Boll an email, asking him if his offer still stood. Would he still fly me up to participate in one of his unintentionally horrific non-horror films, this time with the lure of physically kicking the snot out of me on film? Well folks, I'm proud to say the answer was 'yes.'"I wonder if Boll truly knew what he was getting into when he opened his big mouth. Perhaps he wouldn't be as hated around the Internets if he wasn't so outspoken about everything. Mr. Boll, please do us all a favor, shut your trap and try your hardest not to make movies that make us feel abused and insulted.[Via Destructoid]
SA's Photoshop Phriday: Grandma doesn't get video games
Most Grandmas don't get video games. One of mine watched, with vulgar curiosity, as I scaled skyscrapers and snatched civilians in the craptacular Rampage. The other wrapped her arthritic claws around a Gameboy and spent hours -- hours -- playing Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle. But the reality is that most Grandmas fall into the former camp, and so it is that Something Awful's latest Photoshop Phriday honors these geriatric non-gamers. My favorite: Make Sure It's Two Person: So Your Sister Can Play Too. That one's a classic.See also:SA's Photoshop Phriday: honest game titlesGallery of Photoshopped Mega Man powers
MacBook Pro heat problem heats up
Some people on Something Awful forums posted a solution for overly hot MacBook Pros. It would seem that an overzealous dabbing of thermal conductive paste (pictured above, to see more pics check out this site) was leading to inefficient heat handling. The solution? Dismantle your MacBook Pro, wipe off the goo and replace it with smaller amounts.A picture from one of Apple's technical guides was posted to the forums, and suddenly Apple's legal team leapt into action. A cease and desist letter was sent to Something Awful, which doesn't surprise me too much. The end result? You might have to handle your own goo without guidance.
Straight from a GM's mouth
Over at Something Awful, an alleged ex-Blizzard Europe GM is answering questions from the fray on what it's really like behind the curtain. From 25-year accounts to GM Island, there are some interesting questions and answers on the front page, although you'll have to subscribe to Something Awful if you want to read the entire thread.GMs don't speak out frequently about their jobs, but it can be a thankless task. From newbie questions to insults and petty disputes, the GMs have to put up with a lot from us; but without them the world would run much less smoothly. Yesterday was France's Labour Day, meaning that no GM tickets were available, so I dread to think what they will be deluged with this morning.There's more about the life of a GM on the WoW website; Blizzard are often recruiting, if this sounds like a dream job. Of course, there are other ways of getting paid to play WoW![Via AFK Gamer]
Etiquette the Something Awful way
There's a great article over at Something Awful investigating the social conventions of WoW that we all hold so dear. Covering situations ranging from guild formation to party etiquette and GM petitions, the characters Galent and Gufus embody two very different types of players.We all like to think we're Galent, but we've all encountered a Gufus at some time or other. Fortunately, thanks to the /ignore command, these encounters are easily dealt with. What's the worst example of behaviour you've encountered in-game? LFG and guild spammers are the most frequent, but as a healer, the "/yell PLZ HEAL" types annoy me the most.
Something Awful picks worst five game reviews
According to Something Awful, 2005 was not a good year for gaming journalism. In fact, they reckon it was a terrible year, and they've picked the five worst gaming articles to exemplify just how abysmal game journalism has become. Not limiting themselves to 2005, the two worst articles in their lineup are both by the same author and neither is actually from 2005; in Something Awful's words, the reviews are so "horrible that they have transcended the limitations of linear time".Among the lineup is Kieron Gillen, who's responded to the article on his own site. The traits identified by Something Awful that make these particular reviews so bad include, but are not limited to: rampant fanboyism, an awful sense of humour, pretentiousness, spending much of the review not talking about the actual game, spending the entire review failing to describe the game, and being Tim Rogers. A useful checklist of things to avoid when reviewing games.[Thanks, anonymous]
