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Joystiq review: Assault Heroes (XBLA)
It really is quite unnerving how rapidly a game like Assault Heroes can expose a terrifying desire, possibly even an instinct, amongst every single gamer alive. Perhaps it's just common sense, but when something moves, we absolutely have to kill it. Whether it's a tank, an alien, a robot or just a poorly constructed mass of pixels meant to represent evil, taking a step towards us is rarely interpreted as a welcoming gesture. No, sir. That step was your last. That isn't to say we're a naturally violent lot. Some games simply slip into that easily accessible groove where things come rushing at you and your brain automatically makes sure that a bullet's gone out to greet them. Assault Heroes taps into this familiar area with some precision, much like a group of miners donning helmets and heading into a nostalgia mineshaft. They'll come back with the shiny things you adore, but it's not like you haven't seen any of it before. Maybe you've witnessed it in a necklace or ... let's just forget this metaphor. It's crap.
