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Tonight's most American otaku music video
Let not the bubblegummy popness of LeetStreet Boys' "Yuri The Only One" warp your mind with its clever lyrics and visuals. Even though it's a parody on anime and video games, it's probably best to prepare an insulin shot before listening to catchy saccharin lyrics like, "Yuri the only one for me, You and I make Nintendo Wii." We've done our bit of warning and absolve ourselves of any issues resulting from watching the music video. We're not to blame when your head hits the pillow tonight and you suddenly start humming the song and telling your significant other they're "priceless like a PS3."
Today's most tribal video: Patapon
Rhythm games seem to be in abundance these days, but Patapon's a little different than most. For starters, it's cute, reminiscent of the super-huggable LocoRoco. It's also not about being in a rock band, or just tapping buttons to the beat of your MP3s -- It's about war.As seen in the trailer above, players control a tiny army of one-eyed minions of by pounding on drums, which the little men respond to by performing certain actions. It's part Lemmings, part Space Channel 5, and after spending some time with it at this year's Tokyo Game Show, it's definitely got our attention. To adorable battle!
Tuesday's hottest video that now has subtitles: Vii commercial
Remember that YouTube video with the adorable kittens that sounded like they were talking to each other, that somebody put fake subtitles on and made hilarious? Well, this is exactly like that, except instead of purrs and meowing, it's Chinese, and it features everybody's favorite console ripoff: The Vii.Witness the abbreviated, faux-subtitled version of the Vii commercial after the break. Then ask yourself: if you owned a Vii, would yours break in a fun way?[Thanks, Ryan]
Today's most Zebesian video: The Metroid arcade cabinet
The above video demonstrates the true extent of Metroid fandom. This guy didn't just re-skin an arcade cabinet with fanart. He built the damn thing himself, and even included an illuminated Mother Brain behind a plexiglass window. That's dedication.Unfortunately, the video's not really the best presentation of the unit, but we can't complain. Sure, it's overly dramatic, and moodily lit, and it has way too many quick cuts for us to really ogle the finer details, but this dude built a Metroid-themed arcade cabinet. What else matters?
Today's Vii-est video: Vii commercial
Are you sick of the Vii yet? Because we're not. We don't really have a clue what's being said in this 4-minute commercial, but it honestly doesn't matter. What matters are the re-used clips of the same girl playing the same game, the Vii's flying wildly through space, and the creepily voyeuristic hand-held camera moments.Additionally, ten Stanley nickels go to the first person who spots the half-second cameo by sister-site Engadget. It's on like Donkey Kong.
Today's danciest video: Merry Xmas 2K7
It's a little early for Christmas, but it's always the right time for dancing video game characters! Jan3D has put together a super-short video as an early holiday gift to his/her fellow gamers. And to think that you weren't planning on getting him/her anything.Not much else to say here. Just be prepared to see Big Daddy, Nariko, Mario, Master Chief, Ratchet, and NiGHTS like you've never seen them before -- in sync.
Today's most trance-inducing video: Space Invaders Extreme
Don't let the name fool you: Space Invaders Extreme is more than just a gatorade-guzzling, visual upgrade to Taito's classic formula. Instead, Extreme is looking to entirely reinvent the wheel, by re-examining the pacing and structure of the original title, while infusing the game with a pulsing soundtrack and gameplay quirks clearly inspired by Tetsuya Mizuguchi's Rez.We admit that based on the above video, the game looks very... busy. We're hoping the game doesn't pull a Space Giraffe with the sheer amount of on-screen clutter, but we're most definitely looking forward to blasting retro-styled aliens to the beat of hypnotic techno. The game's due out in Japan in February 2008. No U.S. release has been confirmed, but it's only a matter of time.
Today's worst video? One word: Kwari
As a concept, Kwari is unintentionally hilarious. The game's entire premise rests on luring players in with the promise of cash and prizes. Earn money every time you shoot another player in this online first-person-shooter, and lose money every time you get shot. In addition, special prizes will be given to players throughout each match, both randomly and based on certain skills demonstrated.And it's free, too! The catch? Well, that it's not actually free. As the unnecessarily gory, ugly trailer will barely tell you, Kwari players need to purchase their ammunition with real-world money. Run out of bullets mid-battle? We're fairly certain that Kwari will allow you to fork over more cash with just the click of a button.Of course, don't take our word for it. Check out the NSFW trailer -- entitled "Your 5 Steps to Kwari Heaven" -- after the break.
Today's most geriatric video: 'Yoga noogie!'
The webisode series Street Fighter: The Later Years has been going on for quite some time, but the latest entry proves that the show's creators still have a knack for Street Fighter parody.Whether it's Dhalsim's unorthodox fighting methods, a poorly-aged Ken failing to perform his hidden fireball move, or Chun Li and Blanka caught in a... compromising position, The Later Years still makes us laugh, even if we'll all be geezers by the time the series reaches its eventual conclusion.Check out episode six after the break.
Today's most tedious video: Picking weeds in Animal Crossing
Animal Crossing: Wild World for the DS loves guilting its players. Turn the game off before saving? Mr. Resetti shows up to give you a piece of his mind. Go several months without playing the game? Your once-beautiful town will be overrun with weeds that you'll have to pluck one by one if you want to re-beautify the landscape.Today's video shows just how absurd this process can be. It reportedly took 35 non-stop minutes to remove all the weeds that had grown over eleven months of non-play. Still, our videographers aren't without compassion: to alleviate the sheer tedium of the process, a clever editer has chosen to depict the entire process "Benny Hill" style. You can still see how ridiculous it all is, but at least now you can giggle instead of pulling your hair out. Check out the wacky gardening antics after the break. Update: Fixed the number of months.[Via DS Fanboy]
Today's Katamariest video: Cartoon Network's 'Chowder'
It seems that Katamari Damacy continues to roll on, inspiring imitators and homages long after the original title's release. This time, it seem everyone's favorite clump of souls has rolled onto cable television, with the Cartoon Network program Chowder presenting an extended Katamari-esque sequence involving a rather large piece of bubblegum.Chowder is the latest in a long line of original Cartoon Network animated shows, created by the mind behind Spongebob Squarepants and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. The show is about an apprentice cook named Chowder. In fact, every character is named after food. There's a girl named Panini. Panini. We think that's just awesome.[Thanks, Mark]
Today's most Olympic video: Mario & Sonic at the Olympics review
Maybe most humans have ceased caring about Mario and Sonic at the Olympics, especially since the whole "Sonic and Mario in the same game" draw has been severely overshadowed by Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Regardless, we were still curious to see how Mario and Sonic's first outing together would fare......and by the sound of this video review, the answer is not well. Game Trailers' video reviews are great for demonstrating the problems of a game as they're being discussed. In this case, the review might very well save us a rental; there doesn't seem to be any more to see here.
Today's rudest video: Altair is kind of a jerk
Okay, seriously, what is this guy's problem? Nobody's bothering him. Nobody's even touching him. Yet for some reason the "hero" of Assassin's Creed just thinks he can push other people around. Luckily for Altair, it's always funny to watch people get physically harassed for no reason. Tiny glitch in the "shoving past crowds" mechanic of the game? Most likely. Hilarious for its incidentally perfect comic timing? Most definitely. Just don't try this at your local mall.
Today's most vulgar videos: Jam Sessions' instant rockstar
The North American marketing for DS guitar simulator Jam Sessions has been pretty low-key, comprised of a MySpace page, uninspired print ads, and a bevy of videos showing real artists using the non-game to play fake guitar.Off the charts, then, are New Zealand's excellent television spots for the title, which emphasize how having Jam Sessions in your DS repertoire can transform you into an instant rockstar. According to the ads, being an instant rockstar involves hitting on your buxom aunt, and cursing out your mum for baking you the wrong birthday cake. Honestly, the things those New Zealanders can get away with on television!If we haven't made it abundantly clear, these videos are definitely not-safe-for-work material. Catch all the raunchy, raucous action after the break (and not a single shot of gameplay, either!).
Today's most awkward video: Master Chief and your girlfriend
We can't figure what's more awkward about this "Halo Nights" music video: the idea of walking in and catching Spartan 117 feeling up your girlfriend with a plasma grenade, or the horrible dancing and singing done for the sake of satire. Either way, it's not a video you're going to want to watch more than once, so be sure to appreciate the actually-impressive Master Chief costume as it blue-screen boogies to the beat of Team Tiger Awesome. Awkwardness abounds after the break.
Today's least surprising video: Boogie on the DS
When we first heard about Boogie grooving its way to the DS, the expectations were not particularly high. And as the video above demonstrates, the little portable port meets these expectations quite nicely. Gone from the game is any hint of a karaoke portion (which might be a good thing, given the quality of the DS's tiny mic). Instead, Boogie DS seems to be purely about a series of weaksauce rhythm mini games. Tap the tambourine! Strum the guitar! Step to the beat! It's every great music series mashed up in a mediocre milkshake. Of course, we'll hold off from making any strong assumptions until we can actually play the thing. In the meantime, anyone else care to judge the book by its cover?
Today's hottest video: the Lair 'Hot Coffee' code
Don't worry, it's not what you think. No dragons fornicating, or oddly polygonal women. Just a straight up, Safe-For-Work look at some hot, hot coffee. To get in on the 'Hot Coffee' action yourself, enter the following, case-sensitive code into the cheats menu of Lair: 686F7420636F66666565. If you're lazy, or unwilling to purchase Lair after the glowing reviews, then the video is embedded above for your viewing pleasure. But be careful! It's hot!
