Microsoft has patented an online personal appearance adviser for those of us without a hotline straight through to Put This On's Jesse Thorn. Simply upload a pair of pictures of yourself in different hair, makeup and clothing choices and let the denizens of the internet vote on which one makes you look the best. Sounding similar to HotorNot and FaceMash, this patent purports to shift the emphasis to help the style-challenged choose a suitable wardrobe. We just hope the company built in some snark-protection -- or else we might see plenty of ingenues with ruined self esteem arrive at the opera in a dinosaur costume.