Fire and brimstone: the flaming bible
By Ryan Block 
posted March 2nd 2005 1:15PM
posted March 2nd 2005 1:15PM
Since when is it okay for evangelists to burn their own bibles? Since it was in a controlled environment—a little
lighter fluid and a battery operated ignition system in a hollowed out book labeled "Holy Bible" is sure to set those
pesky nonbelievers back on the straight and narrow. Nothing like using cheap parlor tricks to light up interest in your
religion, eh? Spark the kids' imaginations? Alright, alright, we'll stop.
[Thanks, James]
I know this post was a "joke" posting, but stuff like this (especially the "flaming bible" has been around for a long time. It's basically a variant of the flaming wallet which has been around in the magic community for some time now.
What I want is the Armor of God on that page. +2 saves against evil creatures!
You know, last time I touched a bible, it burst into flames.
(1) (2) & (3) are all "flame" posts.
This just in... the FCC is considering a ban on flaming bibles on board airplanes...
(4) is a "pun" post.
I'm totally going to get one of these to scare off the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses that keep coming to my door trying to convert me. :)
One of my friends keeps a copy of Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible and some black candles to scare away the Jehova's Witnesses. He smiles, invites them in, says just a minute, leaves them at the coffee table with those things on it, and they go away :)
It looks like it singed her nose hair...
I've got a flaming wallet at home. I stopped using it when it burned a couple hundreds.
(No, not really. Well, I *do* have a flaming wallet, it just doesn't burn money.)
Cheap parlor trick indeed. I'm glad it's not something the whole church is using. Oh, and nice attitude towards Christians there, Engadget. Your selection of this item--which has nothing to do with technolgy news--was just so you could make fun of a whole lotta people who would actually agree that this flaming bible is tacky. Are you trying to lose readers?
Eat shit Kevin. Eat holy shit.
Eat shit Kevin. Eat holy shit.
In risk of starting a flame war. STFU #8 he was poking fun dont take it so damn personally. I'd rather he make fun of anything he wants to make fun of than have a boring bland website like so many others out there.
And good idea #7
"This just in... the FCC is considering a ban on flaming bibles on board airplanes..."
This just in... The FAA is pissed.
Christians need to stop being so goddamn self-righteous.
#11, how is that comment related to the discussion? try to keep focused.
btw, self-righteousness is not a christian attribute but a human attribute.
I am in agreement with 12. On the topic of flaming bibles, don't knock it before you read it; I suggest two passages about righteousness.
From Paul's letter to the Philippians, chapter 3:7-11 [NIV] (pay special attention to 9)
7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ
9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ–the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
And from the letter to the Romans, chapter 3 verses 21-26 [NIV]
21 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.
22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
25 God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished–
26 he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.
In case you're still reading, in layman's terms this simply means that people cannot become righteous through their own merit or strength. Any "self-righteousness" is in fact a farce because for all the good that anyone can do, they are not only capable of evil but also court it, thus nullifying those good actions, intention or even a generally good life. So in essence, what a Christian believes, if he or she has been a good student of the bible is that righteousness can only be given as a gift from above, by someone untouched by the stain of sin. I.e. Self-righteous Christian is an oxymoron.
Theology lesson is over.
she has big hands...
Yeah Yeah, Burn it, BURN IT!!
Oh lord.
Jehovah's Witnesses have the corner on cheap charlatan parlor tricks.
Their core doctrine is that Jesus Christ had his second coming "invisibly" in 1914.
The Watchtower is a ripoff cult from the get-go.
A MAN without RELIGION rather KNOWER of the SPIRIT.
CHOSEN and FAITHFUL!
HE FOUGHT to establish JUSTICE
RIGHTEOUSNESS and FREEDOM in the EARTH.
Wearing the ARMOR of HIS FATHER
And the WILL of GOD.
The LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS
The NAME imprinted behind the BREASTPLATE.
HE became the BLOOD SACRIFICE of HUMAN HATE
And VIOLENCE and MURDER.
The SINS of HUMANITY.
HE shod HIS feet with MERCY and LOVE
And walked in PEACE teaching the TRUTH.
The GARMENTS that sustains HIS loins and legs.
HIS FAITH is not a WEAPON to KILL
But rather the SHIELD
To protect us against an EVIL WILL of the WORLD.
The LAW of the LAND in action
HATE VIOLENCE MURDER and WAR.
But the WORD of GOD and HIS LAW
The SWORD of the SPIRIT
HIS only WEAPON.
Wounded the MIND of the SHEPHERDS
And RULERS of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS
“That it shall be in EARTH as it is in HEAVEN.”
HE crowned HIMSELF with the HELMET of SALVATION
Delivering the GOSPEL of PEACE
To all BRETHREN of the WORLD.
And made US HEIRS and the CHILDREN of GOD
In HIS ETERNAL HOUSE of MERCY and LOVE.
The TRUTH for LIFE and PEACE
In the KINGDOM of HEAVEN.
The PRINCE of PEACE is HIS TITLE
GOD is SALVATION the meaning of HIS NAME.
The WORD MESSIAH means the CHRIST which also means SACRIFICE.
The LIGHT of REVELATION.
And he that OVERCOMES
As JOHN the “GIFT of GOD” had also overcame.
JESUS of NAZARETH
“The SAVIOR of the WORLD” had also promised PEACE
A NEW VISION of PEACE that comes with HIS NEW NAME.
“JESUS ALEUZENEV LORD and SERVANT of ALL PEOPLE”
ALELUYA! AMEN! ALEUZENEV!
BEHOLD!
“La NUEVA JERUSALEM”
The NEW VISION of PEACE
GOD is with US!
ALELUYA! AMEN! ALEUZENEV!
CHOSEN and FAITHFUL!
REJOICE in HIS PROMISES!
“HE THAT HAS AN EAR, LET HIM HEAR WHAT THE SPIRIT SPEAKS UNTO THE CHURCHES.”
Revelation 3:12-13
Ivor Manuel prays for you and PEACE for the WORLD; the pillar and prophet branch of the LORD.
www.aleuzenev.com
A MAN withou RELIGION rather KNOWER of the SPIRIT.
CHOSEN and FAITHFUL!
HE FOUGHT to establish JUSTICE
RIGHTEOUSNESS and FREEDOM in the EARTH.
Wearing the ARMOR of HIS FATHER
And the WILL of GOD.
The LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS
The NAME imprinted behind the BREASTPLATE.
HE became the BLOOD SACRIFICE of HUMAN HATE
And VIOLENCE and MURDER.
The SINS of HUMANITY.
HE shod HIS feet with MERCY and LOVE
And walked in PEACE teaching the TRUTH.
The GARMENTS that sustains HIS loins and legs.
HIS FAITH is not a WEAPON to KILL
But rather the SHIELD
To protect us against an EVIL WILL of the WORLD.
The LAW of the LAND in action
HATE VIOLENCE MURDER and WAR.
But the WORD of GOD and HIS LAW
The SWORD of the SPIRIT
HIS only WEAPON.
Wounded the MIND of the SHEPHERDS
And RULERS of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS
“That it shall be in EARTH as it is in HEAVEN.”
HE crowned HIMSELF with the HELMET of SALVATION
Delivering the GOSPEL of PEACE
To all BRETHREN of the WORLD.
And made US HEIRS and the CHILDREN of GOD
In HIS ETERNAL HOUSE of MERCY and LOVE.
The TRUTH for LIFE and PEACE
In the KINGDOM of HEAVEN.
The PRINCE of PEACE is HIS TITLE
GOD is SALVATION the meaning of HIS NAME.
The WORD MESSIAH means the CHRIST which also means SACRIFICE.
The LIGHT of REVELATION.
And he that OVERCOMES
As JOHN the “GIFT of GOD” had also overcame.
JESUS of NAZARETH
“The SAVIOR of the WORLD” had also promised PEACE
A NEW VISION of PEACE that comes with HIS NEW NAME.
“JESUS ALEUZENEV LORD and SERVANT of ALL PEOPLE”
ALELUYA! AMEN! ALEUZENEV!
BEHOLD!
“La NUEVA JERUSALEM”
The NEW VISION of PEACE
GOD is with US!
ALELUYA! AMEN! ALEUZENEV!
CHOSEN and FAITHFUL!
REJOICE in HIS PROMISES!
“HE THAT HAS AN EAR, LET HIM HEAR WHAT THE SPIRIT SPEAKS UNTO THE CHURCHES.”
Revelation 3:12-13
Ivor Manuel prays for you and PEACE for the WORLD; the pillar and prophet branch of the LORD.
www.aleuzenev.com