The Cellphone Stun Gun

Forget all of our endless feature lists and ad nauseum whining about what we want our cellphones to do — we've found the perfect mobile. The Cellphone Stun Gun is the be-all, end-all of covert non-lethal self defense. Those perps won't even know what hit them when you unload what looks like an unassuming, mild-mannered phone but delivers a payload of 180,000 volts. There's a safety switch to prevent you from frying the family jewels whilst in your pocket — or, take advantage of the free included (and quite sexy) leather carrying case. Oh, and the catch is that it doesn't actually work as a cellphone, which in the end is probably for the best since its vibrate mode is a little, um, intense.

[Via textually]

[PhilJ @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

YES! Now can we see that excellent Virgin Mobile commercial again?

[Mitch Incognito @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

There was a joke commercial about this made by Geiko.

I weep a single tear because it's true.

[w00ter @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

DIAL 911!! DIAL 911!!

Here! use my cellphone!

[Finishing.Law.School @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

Sort of pointless if it is not a phone.

[Neil T. @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

I'm still waiting for the iTaser, an iPod attachment that acts as a stun gun. It's got to be more useful than the iBeam, that's for sure.

[TheZodiac @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

Jesus this has been out there for so long, and eBay has them too (a few models are being sold) Next thing you know, someone will come out with a Flamethrower Cell phone (oops, I already did - sorry!)

www.godmode.com

[rc51 @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

lol, my dream phone.

[Trejkaz @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

It's a good thing it isn't a phone... the talk hours would suck after the vibrate feature chews all the battery power. :-)

[Mike @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

The cell phone stun gun can be purchased here: http://www.safetytechnology.com/cellphonestungun.htm

[OddManOut @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

I'd rather have a wallet grenade with a flat C-4 charge in it. When asked to hand over your wallet, pretend to fumble getting it out of your pocket (surruptitiously arming it of course), and then gleefully hand it over. It will of course have at least a 15 second delay to allow your attacker ample time to get away.

Sure you'll lose the cash inside, assuming of course you even still carry cash. But on the bright side your ID and credit cards will be destroyed so they can't be abused, and quite possibly your assailant will be as well. That piece of mind is worth the $30 - $50 in cash you might be carrying, isn't it ?

YES, I'm kidding. But only because there would be too much risk of accidentally arming it during normal, non-mugging usage. But rest assured...that's the ONLY reason that patent is not MINE...

Well...that and the fact that some other sick freak out there has probably thought of this before :)

[OddManOut @ Dec 19th 2005 1:20AM]

Update...I can't believe I didn't think of this before. Why actually use that as your real wallet ? Just carry it as an explosive decoy and lose NO money when it explodes...

[Ken @ Aug 18th 2007 4:43PM]

The newer version of the Cell Phone Stun Gun can be found at:
Protect Your Home and Family
http://www.ProtectYourHomeandFamily.com