time bomb (dynamite cock alarm)There are lots of ways to die: exploding cellphone batteries, being shredded to bum gumbo by Necoro catbots, and now...your alarm clock. Seems a young Welsh woman died suddenly in 1998 and her mother is convinced it's the fault of, well...the alarm clock. Nearly seven years later, DNA tests were able to prove she had a rare condition called Long QT Syndrome which left her vulnerable to sudden shocks-like the kind you get from being woken up by an alarm clock. Ok, so the odds of having Long QT are like 1 in 7,000...hmmm, hey wait! You mean we're more likely to die from waking up to Winger than by "inhalation of gastric contents" (odds: 1 in 10,095)!? For crissake man, where's the gun!

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