NeuroSky to offer thought control without those pesky brain implants

Intellectual children (dweebs) have long suffered the humiliation of being chosen last for such illustrious sports as Dodgeball and Piggy Move Up. Up to now, parents could only implant a BrainGate in hopes of supplanting hand-eye coordination with thought-control (be the ball Danny, be the ball). But now, NeuroSky (a fab(u)less startup of US chip designers and Russian neuroscientists chillin' in NorCal) claims a "breakthrough" in non-invasive neural sensors allowing low-cost, dry (no contact gels) neural mapping solutions to be applied to those things you'd most like to mind control (spouse, voters, TV, game console, cellphone). Initially, they will focus on three applications: sleep/drowsiness detectors for the automotive and industrial markets; therapeutic solutions for attention deficit disorder (ADD) problems; and gaming consoles. They've already inked a deal with China Mobile and their 100 million cellphone subscribers. Hmm, China embracing thought-control technology - who woulda guessed it?

[Via textually.org]

[Richard @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

+5 for Engadget sarcasm!

[Hug-me @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

You die now - you die now!

[Chump @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

This is much like the equipment the doctors used to put on me.

[Dylan @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

Whoever keeps doing these highly sardonic reports on engadget is very good at it, i love reading through the gadget news with a bit of light humour ^_^.

Anyway, anyone else think nintendo revolution and the 'on' video as soon as they saw this?

[Hug-me @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

They have already inked a deal...?

You made a mistake, this is Engadget - not Joystiq!

Shame on you

:)

[Charles @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

Forget the industrial applications - I'd love that "drowsiness" control for my TV and stereo... Turns off when I fall asleep! How about one that flicks channels when I'm bored...

[knot_u @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

that would be extreamly "revolutionary" :)

hey maybe that's why we haven't seen the rervolution's controler :0

knot_U

[knot_u @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

that would be extreamly "revolutionary" :)

hey maybe that's why we haven't seen the rervolution's controler :0

knot_U

[Ori @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

#4, Revolution was the first thing that popped into my mind :). How good would this be?!! :)

[ardis barnes @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

beats takin pills :)

[OddManOut @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

'Strange Days' ahead...

"...you slip on the trodes, you get what you need and it keeps you from jumping your
tracks." - Lenny

[Rocket Punch @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

HA! That you take, my master yoda!

[Yoda @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

@ Rocket Punch

your ass kick, I will

harsh lesson, you will learn

feel pain, you will

scream like a girl, you will

pathetic, my attempt to speak like Yoda is

:)

[Carl @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

I walked away from EP III feeling that yoda didnt even know how to speak yoda speak..eh?

Anyway, I doubt that this can be used effectively in the gaming field

[Jazzay @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

i think the Yoda speaking was way overdone in seizurefest 2005, er, star wars III, i couldnt understand half of what he said, its like he just switching the subject and the predicate and hopes it comes out right, but i dont like where this is going...

imagine if you will, a world where mind control is standard on most computers, general use would be accelerating in-head calculations to save time, take out the need for typing, and allow for for 3D mapping without all the wireframes, this is widely accepted and used by everyone, one person who has not fallen into the hole of this decides to take revenge on the cruel world earth has become and writes a virus, one that attacks the mind-device to make you think what he thinks, and so everyone simultaneously gets up and kills themselves, some revolution

[ROY179 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

lolfr that was the funniest post on engadged in a while

Intellectual children (dweebs)

hahahahahahhahhaa

[Eran Hawke @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this device a way for you to control things with your thoughts instead of the other way around?

Some of the comments make it sound like they are afraid of people entering their mind.

Think of it like a record player...the player can only read what is on the vinyl, it can't write to the vinyl.

[Leo Kasatonov @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

the nintendo revolution will have this as a controller