Woman with phone glued to ear robs four banks

Proving once again that technology is getting more sophisticated while criminals remain as dumb as ever is a brazen woman who has robbed four Wachovia branches in Northern Virginia since October 12, each time entering the banks unmasked and chatting on her cellphone the entire time. Although police will not disclose the contents of the notes she has passed to tellers, we can infer that the Cellphone Bandit started out using the threat of a bomb or gun and then escalated to brandishing an actual firearm. Police are currently vetting through mobile calls made around the same times/locations as the heists, which may prove successful since at least one of the tellers heard the woman speaking a series of "okay"s. As to why someone might want to chat on the phone during a crime, University of Waterloo sociology professor Fred Desrosches theorized that "maybe because she's a woman, she feels less secure physically, and by talking to somebody, it makes her feel secure…or, maybe she's talking to her mother." So yet another crime has occurred here, folks, an assault on the notion that women can't be just as cold and depraved in their criminal activity as men.

[Thanks, resource]

[TomtheWombat @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I didn't read the article, but I am guessing that someone may have been telling her what to do over the phone. Forcing her to rob the banks unmasked.

Nice try though..

[VVV @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Um, maybe she was forced to do it and was receiving order through her cellphone...

[Francis Wu @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

TomtheWombat, I agree it's a possibility. Seriously... nobody's seen Phonebooth? Then again, we don't know what she was talkin' 'bout. If she was yackin' 'bout Louis Vuitton handbags with her girlfriend, then yes... this lady is a dorkus-malorkus.

[SK @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Is that Stephanie from Survivor? Wow, she must not have won.

[FSK1138 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

...maybe she was forced to do it and was receiving order through her cellphone.

-- - she might be the victim here -- !!!
people are so quick to judge

[zed @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Actually, this is kinda funny. Ask yourself: when do you think the security guards knew that some woman on a cell phone was robbing a bank? It defies all stereotypes and clues. She totally knew what she was doing, she did it FOUR TIMES!

[SupaDave @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

After the horrible series Charmed and other terrible career choices Alyssa Milano must rob banks to pay for the airtime charges, a result of her cell phone addiction.

[grubi @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I'm sorry; she was "receiving order"? Can nobody speak or type English around here?

[Travis @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I agree with zed. Has it crossed anyones mind she may have been talking to no one? Put a dead phone up to your ear definitely looks more casual.

[jnasato @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Yah...

The cellphone makes her look "normal". Smart!

Looking like a woman just doing her bank stuffs and having the cash handed over to her seems less risky than wearing all black, combat boots, a gasmask, a backpack, and carrying an automatic rifle in each hand, yelling at the top of her lungs, "EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR NOW, MUTHASUCKAZ!!!-- PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER, EMPTY THE CASH REGISTERS AND OPEN THE VAULT, *NOW*! NOBODY MOVES, OR EVERYBODY DIES, FATHASUCKAZ!!!!!"

[pimp @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

You assume that she's actually talking to someone on the other end.

[Finished.Law.School @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Her eyebrows look like shit.
You folks saying that she is receiving orders to rob multiple banks over the cell phone must be liberals who are also against the death penalty for murderers and rapists... You guys suck.

[Hitchcock @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I'd hit it.

(Wait, this isn't Fark?)

[Dave Briggman @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Perhaps she forgot to read Wachovia's NO-GUNS policy on the front door of every branch? BB&T has the same policy.

hat's why I wouldn't bank with either.

[Jay Contonio @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

hitchcock...awesome

[resource @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I think she's pretty slick.
She knows what she's doing. She dispels all stereotypes with the phone to her ear.

Four times!

http://startsnitching.blogspot.com/2005/11/coolest-bank-robber-ever.html

[ela2 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Yummy hot latina.....wouldn't mind taking her back to the "vault" :)

[shizzlestick @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I'd like to make a deposit with her.

[chetspartan @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

"Seriously... nobody's seen Phonebooth?" -
NO..... SERIOUSLY.
"she might be the victim here -- !!!"
- nope, Francis Wu is, seems he watched Phonebooth.

Seriously though, yeah yummy down on that.

[rasbill @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

some people just cant shut the f up, my aunt being one of them shes on her cell phone all day and night it makes me sick i cant stand it, and im tellin u allll day alll night, so if shes anything like my aunt, im not suprized she wont hang up well shes robbin a bank, i know my aunt wouldnt

[Eric Davis @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Somebody just beat this bitch up while she's talking on the cell phone. This is a little too brazen to be happening. Somebody might just have the confidence to rob a bank wearing their boxers and drinking from a milk carton.

[Brian @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I bet she's talking to someone that she feels she has to be really polite and all of that around, so she gets excited by doing this while talking to them. Two adrenaline rushes at the same time... think about it.

Brian

[TZK @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Shes guilty, kill her.

BURN HER SHES A WITCH!

[kwijibo @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

she obviosly used her cellphone as a disrtaction, i mean you wouldnt expect her then.

[Ipods Bleh @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

How about the note the police won't disclose. Maybe she faked a note saying that she would be killed if they don't do what she says and the killer is on the phone?

Like that other guy with the bomb locked to his neck, he blowed up though.

[ItsAllVerbatim @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Maybe it's a "24" type situation.

Remember, when Jack is being watched and he has to steal the disk from CTU and then get out; the whole time he was on the phone. And the caller was threatening Jack's family.

You kidnapped my little sisters or my mother, I'd rob a bank too. Lots of them. Repeatedly. Until they were safe. And no, I wouldn't hesitate to rough up LE in order to do it, either. If this is in any way kidnapping or bribery related, she has no choice.

It is possible that this is what happened. She is being coerced into the thefts because they a) have members of her family held hostage or b) she fucked up doing something so bad a criminal organization ordered her to do this, or she dies.

Pretty simple. Some art does imitate life.

[Loopy @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

She's definitely hot.

Probably left the bank and on the way home accidentally ran over some pedestrian while yakkin on the cell phone.

[coolcatlooc2 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

lol!Maybe she was ordering a Pizza yall!Or maybe talkin to the manerger (seceretly her friend and accomplice)On how to get the money easily.

[John Doe. @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Should be a slam dunk. Most if not all bank surveillance systems are time stamped. Get the exact times from all three banks. Get the listings of all phones in use at the closest accessable tower at each bank at x time. Compare all three lists looking for the numbers that are in use at that time and there you go. There shouldn't be too many numbers that overlap three counties.
The only possibility as someone suggested is she isn't actually on the phone at all but in that case why continue with faking it AFTER you start the heist. Hardly makes sense to act "normal" when you've already pulled a gun or some other weapon on someone.

[Howalica @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

This is the funniest thing i have read in like so long! I can't even get over it. Seriously can you imagine the dialogue "yeah so I know totally, ("oh yeah in small bills bitch"). Ok so like totally yeah... Wanna go party later? My treat!" The teller on the other side must have been saying to themselves "I could take this one!"

[solar @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I, rather, think this is a conspiracy from Wachovia with a motive to get some attention... the whole thing looks like a huge advertising set up. I mean, come on... four times...

[Syphon @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Is it just me, or does she look a lot like Sara from Making The Band 3?

[Black Beard @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Crap! She stole my idea!

[coolcatlooc2 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Or Maybe Shes ordering Chineese

[TC @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Maybe she called her phone company to try and switch tariffs and had to get some more cash for an EV-DO handset?

[OddManOut @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Um...she's hot ? Okay....

Definitely a possibility that the phone is simply part of the act. But if it's not, W(hy)TF ain't she usin' a headset ? It's not as if she can't afford one (at least concerning the latter 3 robberies).

Consider too that the phone might play a different role in this than simple distraction. Perhaps the note says something like '...he is watching us right now with a high powered rifle and if I give him 'the word' he will kill YOU and 5 other people. If I stop talking he will fire an RPG through the window and blow up the entire building. Got it ?"

Or maybe keeping the phone there simply stops her from compulsively looking over her shoulder which would be even more conspicuous than a chick yaking on a cellphone...

[Bible and Apologetics Teacher @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Unmasked? There are cameras in the bank....

[srw @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Maybe she is using the phone as an excuse in case she does get caught "I was being forced to do it"..

[Alex @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

SHE's obviously on the phone with a Buddy Who is Monitoring a Police Scanner Duh!

[CV @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I think she's on her cellphone because she couldn't lug her landline in with her.

[Tommymang @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

What's next?! Someone robbing a bank while text messaging ;-)

[J.M. Barron @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

She'll get caught and claim someone had her daughter hostage and forced her to do it and someone will back her up.She will get through the investigation but later she'll pay cash for a BMW and get nailed.

[Bard @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Or....

Instead of thnking of some far-out wacko hollywood plotline, hasn't anyone ever bothered to consider that perhaps she's got someone outside watching things? While she's in the bank, you got the guy in the car keeping an eye out on his cell. It's a cheap and normal way to communicate and no one will think twice about some guy hanging around in a car outside a bank on a cellphone.

[benhc911 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

For the Legal defence of Duress/Compulsion to be valid, the third party must be within physical proximity. On the phone, is obviously not close enough, there is no excuse for following someone on the phone, unless perhaps they are a sniper. If they aren't present you are expected to run. Also, if the threat is not greater than the crime than it isnt valid, in that case you have to take one for the team.

[Phug @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

Common sense says she's talking to the getaway driver. The Driver is parked out front watching for police activity and listening to the police scanner. The reason the teller hears her say ok is the driver is giving her a constant stream of info such as "One old lady and 2 kids entering", "one guy single not a threat", "you been in there 2 minutes speed it up"...
And Yes she is hot. If you don't think so you don't like women or your racist against latin ladies.

[RobERT @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

The phone is really an alien that has attached itself to this woman�s head and is controlling her.

[SideSwipe @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

You guys are a bunch of idiots - read the article, you'll see that the four robberies were on different days.

Try to explain how she was "forced" to do that over a 2 week period.

:rolleyes:

[Rob @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

I would imagine she's talking to whoever is in the getaway car - like the guy said about someone listening to a police scanner. She could also be talking to other accomplices who are standing around inside the bank - all of them saying 'uh-huh' every few seconds to confirm nothing has gone awry. This way, if something did go wrong, it could revert to a more conventional robbery. The cell phones are probably stolen. I don't imagine they'll get much from tracing them (don't you think they'd have this girl by now if it was her phone?)

[Mike @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

what if some1 kidnapped your son/daughter and threatened to kill them unless you went and robbed banks while You were told what to do on the cell phone? Im sure you would all do it.

I just cant believe some1 would be dumb enough to rob 4 banks without a disguise.

I guess we wont know untill shes caught and we hear her story.

Personally if I was a bank teller and some1 handed me a ntoe saying they had a gun or bomb and needed all the money I would politly lean over and say, "Excuse me maim, Im afraid I cant give in to your demands without actually seeing a bomb or gun present. For all I know your just some person pulling a scam. I need to feel my actual life is in danger before I give into your demands"

[ela2 @ Dec 19th 2005 2:38AM]

She'll be available soon on one of those prison dating sites....yum yum