Aside from the usual party-related hazards of drunk driving, drunk dialing, and beer goggling, we're now faced with a new booze-fueled activity to avoid at all costs: drunk OnStarring. In yet another installment of our seemingly-endless gadgetcentric Stupid Criminals Series, two Michigan men were pulled over by police after an OnStar operator notified 911 that the mirror-mounted button in the men's Cadillac Escalade had been pushed several times without any feedback from the passengers. Apparently the owner of the Escalade, Gavin Grant, was too drunk to drive, so he gave the keys to his "more sober" buddy Brent Farmer, who subsequently blew a .30 (over three times the legal limit) when the po-po breathalyzed him. When asked why these two geniuses kept pressing the OnStar help button, Farmer told the cops that they were "just messing around." This being Farmer's third-offense drunken driving arrest, at least now he'll have to keep his messin' to the bus or sidewalk for awhile.