Tesco music sandwich set to harrass Brits this week
posted December 7th 2005 9:00AM
Tesco, Britain's largest retailer, is introducing the greeting card-inspired musical sandwich for the dreary lunch crowd this week. Now get this, according to a Tesco spokesman (who'll remain anonymous to avoid your wrath) the music sandwich "is designed to provide busy office workers with relaxing music to make eating lunch at their desks more enjoyable than ever before." Open the top of your prawn-and-mayo or perhaps, egg-and-pickle-bits sandwich and kick back to a soothing xmas medley dribbled over that piezoelectric tweeter. Is this a joke — are the four horsemen saddling up? Look, it's bad enough that those one million desk-bound-lunching Brits are subjected to eating rubber-packed triangular sandwiches with salt-n-vinegar crisps every day until they die (or retire, whichever is first). But must they really be subjected to cheap tinny music to accompany those lonely culinary moments as well? That's just mean. And certainly the only thing more annoying than listening to Jingle Bells is listening to it played from a nearby cubicle-monkey's coffer. Please, we beg you, someone send us a video of this joyous experience…maybe we've got this all wrong.
I think those sandwiches taste pretty good. They're fresh...nothing like American prepackaged sandiwches...
Yeah, we've had these in my store for a while now and I can tell you now they are more annoying for me and my staff than the crazy frog was.
I don't think there is much which is fresh about a tesco sandwich.
The grossest sandwich I ever had was bought around 1988 out of a machine on a train during a visit to the UK. Everything was sold out except for a watercress sandwich, which was just bread and....watercress. I was probably about 10 when I got that and I am 27 now. No music could have made that sandwich better except maybe the Jinglecats.
Great, a sandwich that makes you want to kill yourself.
Just what I want for lunch.
By God, you Brits are ugly.
at least we're not all fat!
or stupid
or fat
Now, all we need are little screens next to the bar code playing the latest episodes of Lost. Anyone? Sainsburys? ^_^
as a fat, ugly american i would like to second that those sandwiches are actually pretty good. i studied in london for 3 months and the prawn and mayo is a quality sandwich.
How are the British ugly? You can't use a word like ugly to describe millions of people. Anyway, I think apple could try and take on this market with the disposable iPod (jks). Doesn't this make the sandwich loadsa more expensive?
Whatever next? - Musical Meatloaf playing Bat out of Hell?
#12 - the 'ugly' statement probably came from an American male. They can't stand the fact that American women love us Englishmen!!
If you can stand annoying jingles that come from the European obsession with cellphones you can stand stupid songs with prepackaged crap you call food.
Sans the music, cheese and pickle sandwiches from Tesco are delicious.
Also, I'm embarrassed to be an American with some of the idiotic comments posted here. I know more butt-ugly obese Americans than I do Brits. And my husband is English and completely adorable. So please shut the feck up. Please.
I tell you, im never going to tescos again for a sandwich, now if the packaging had a built in toaster!
"How are the British ugly?"
Don't feed the trolls.
I took one of those annoying little "noisemakers" out of a greeting card back in high school (many years ago) and hid it in my English teacher's classroom. All day long she kept asking the students if they could hear it too. She couldn't find the source, and it was driving her crazy. Unfortunately the battery only lasted about a day. I've been wanting to play the same trick on my coworkers but can't find those annoying little things anymore.
I was more a fan of the Pret a Manger sandwiches, myself... quite tasty.
#18 Mikey-
Have you tried walmart? It's where all of the fat, lazy americans go shopping... I saw one in there a few months ago. Yes, that means that I am a fat, lazy american.
One look at that guy, and you can tell he's a brit. Looks like a real hooligan, something like a mix between Colin Farell and Vinnie Jones.
If bush was a brit: http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/belters/posted/gbushned.jpg
back on topic, I've heard they're gonna put clips from singles in these sandwiches for advertising.
I find the pre-packaged sandwiches offered everywhere in London to be delicious. Of course I come from a place where pre-packaged sandwiches are changed once a week. I wonder who even buys 7-11 "food". Is this Gadget talk?...
Stuart
#6: well at least he's not smiling, oh and the recent release of the John Lennon tapes interview shows that the best band in the world thought that Americans were an ugly race: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/arts/lennon_wenner.shtml
#15: European mobiles have the best designs, better than Japan and certainly America, you fat fingered lumps couldn't design to save you're lives, just look at the Xbox, what a shitty heap of sheep shit!
#21: At leats he doens't wear massive trousers and constantly spout "yo yo wassup", ass-wipe!
M&S were the best sandwich retailer of the year, this they have won so many times in a row I lost count. Oh and the packing 100 percent environmentally neutral+ and the cellophane is biodegradable because its made from vegetable starch
Wow, Samuel, I'm really truly floored. Best band in the world, eh? According to whom? I guess The Beatles are the authority on who is bad and not bad, right? This is who you draw your wisdom from? And the Xbox is ugly, therefore it's a poor reflection on Americans? And apparently, you think all Amercians wear baggy trousers and yell, "Yo, wassap"? You have a real grasp on Amercian culture there, Sammy. These are your arguments? What are you, 15 years old? I mean, wow, I'm going to nominate you right now for a Nobel Peace Prize. I wonder if there's a Logical Argument/Influential Debate Prize, too? You should get that one also.
Oh, and please shutup, you brit spas. Yeah, Yankees are all fat (as though there's no such thing as a fat brit, or a thin American), and you brits are all pale and cynical, stick-up-your-butt-rigid, with bad water, worse food, and bad teeth. Right?
Can we please stop the stupid over-generalizations? As though anyone in the world can completely and accurately quantify how many people in the world have this bad quality or that bad quality, Brit, Amercian, or otherwise.
No one has enough knowledge to do that.
Besides, good-'ol "E71" above is the one who started all of this crap. Geez. Thanks, E71. Creep.
This is too funny: I couldn't spare the Tesco spokeman on my blog: you are too kind. He makes it sound like this is the greatest product ever!
Next product launch: Karaoke potato chips!
#27 Karaoke potato CRIPS! damn you people.
I believe them call them Gherkins, not pickles over there...
But what about a decent sandwich? You know, filling without some filling that tastes like mayo and rat shit.
But what about a decent sandwich? You know, filling without some filling that tastes like mayo and rat shit.