Nothing gladdens our hearts more than seeing yet another paranoid parent kid tracking device aimed at locking down the hearts, minds and loins of today's youth. This one provides off-line GPS tracking (read: cheaper than real-time) of your vehicle so you can see when, where, how fast and how aggressively your teen is abusing the family getaway-mobile. The data is tracked passively and stored in a USB key that plugs into the receiver unit and detaches to be read on your home computer. The data is uploaded to a DriveSync server where it gets interpreted, generating reports including trip logs and usage alerts ("Junior's doing 95!"). All of this is couched under euphemistic marketing language about identifying aggressive driving behavior in your teen (or your fleet drivers, if you're the paranoid trucking co. manager-type instead of paranoid parent) and nipping it in the bud early, but don't be fooled, kids -- what this really means is no more clandestine trips to the liquor store without the 'rents finding out.

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